Have just received the 'schedule and dress code' for a wedding I'm attending.

[ShowOfHands]

I'm screwed.

I'm seriously screwed.

Pretty Joe Browns dress not going to be good enough? I have several size 8 ball gown type things in addition to the little black silk number. I can and will lend you something.

Unless it is vicars and tarts or animal print. Then you are on your own.

No mock, please do. It cheers me right up. Was just pointing out that I love these people. Will not be telling them to sod off or ignoring their requests. It's their day, I want to get it right for them.

I'd ignore the heels thing for a start. How rude!

No I would struggle with that tbh. I am short but I refuse to wear stupidly high heels to things like weddings. I still want to be able to walk at 3pm!

What size are you? Surely we can rustle you up something lovely to wear?

i dont mind dress code as in longe suit etc. but i was recently invited to a wedding which specified colours and types of hats that women should wear. we declined.

Joe Browns dress will NOT be good enough, no.

I don't know about women's formal stuff but I'm assuming it's these sort of slinky, silky things with little jackets and roadkill in your perfect hair and make-up and heels and monochrome and block colours and what the fuck am I doing here?

Heels I can't do. Never worn them. Would look like John Wayne. But what DO I do. Where do I start?

Anyone who attempts to prescribe things like heel heights is in a fantasy world!

Ditto whether the too half of your attire is actually stitched to the bottom half.

This could be a hilarious event!

But, seriously: do not compromise on heels - you don't wear them and you'll be uncomfy. I doubt they'll attempt to police that on the day.

I have been to at least 30 weddings (mostly 10-20 years ago) and have never seen an invitation with a dress code, is this a new custom?

charity shops - ask in them as they keep more formal wear hidden as often poeple aren't looking for it. I went to a ball and found when I asked in charity shops they had a wealth of interesting dresses out the back

If they really are dear dear friends then surely they should accept that you are skint and accept that you don't do heels.

I'm all for dressing up and respecting people's dress codes but I think when it's this specific then it's a bit rude of them.

There is nothing modern about a dress code or a schedule at a wedding.

oh and wear flats - if anyone says anything

say oh my goodness the heels snapped of in the awful guttering and I had to snap the other own - this keeps happening and then wink

Afternoon garden party and high heels?

Lawn and heels?

You need to get in touch as the bride hasn't thought this through.

heels? Thank goodness I'm not invited as I'm not allowed to wear heels (had bunion surgery, doctors have ordered no heels on pain of bunions returning). I might invest in some sparkly Birkies, but that's as far as I'd go as regards footwear instructions.

Ad why do men get to wear smart shorts, if women can't wear skirts? I look loads more put together in a smart skirt than DH does in shorts .

The garden party dress code bit (which is useful) is planters. I'd go in a Laura Ashley or Monsoon style dress with ballet flats - channel period documentaries of the Raj or Death on the Nile.

I am seriously appalled that they have told you to wear high heels! Post this on the feminist forum and see what they have to say about it! What about people with rheumatism/bad hips etc No way would I wear high heels because someone ordered me to. What is the world coming to?

Ok, we can get you through this. Is the dress you have the one you linked us to on your annual d&v thread last year? Bluey shift dress with flowers? That would be fine for the "garden party" (wtf?)

I would ignore the footwear requirements. How do they know if you can wear high heels or not for medical reasons. Alternatively you could go for a maxi dress to hide your feet, then no one will see if y have the right shows or not.

Do you have a budget for your outfit? What size are you now (well done on the weight loss) I have a wardrobe full of dresses that no longer fit me in sizes from 12-18! Fascinators can be picked up for £10 and tarted up if ned be.

Suit hire for DH is easy, forget about him.

When is the wedding??

I'm going to a big wedding later in the year, so far I have got:

beautiful Coast dress from ebay £10

high black satin shoes ebay £10

and am hoping to get a hat from ebay for no more than £20

No way am I joining in the weddingzilla £500 an outfit brigade ( I is mean with my money )

'Heels must be high'. So what will they do to you if yours aren't? Send you home? And how are they going to check? I have visions of Bridezilla crawling round on the floor with a tape measure between her teeth....

I give them six months

Do you have a mate/sister you can borrow from?
I regularly lend my mates stuff for weddings/balls and vice versa.

And yes charity shop.
will your H need a morning suit?

you need wedges for a garden party. this stops heel sinkage and pulled calf muscles from straining to stand on your toes.

Oh my. Tbh I'd be a bit at that as however dear the friends are they have perhaps got a little carried away planning their dream wedding and not thoguht about the cost for their guests.

But between us all I am sure we can think of something, I know you don't like accepting things but can we not lend you stuff to be posted back afterwards?

I can manage the day before stuff as that is more casual as dress codes go. The day itself is formal (fascinator or hat required) Can't help with hat I'm afraid! Formal how? Are we talking floor length black tie or just a nice dress? Nice dress as I said on the other thread can definitely be picked up on ebay for £10 as it is flooded with people who have bought a £100 frock for a wedding and want to sell it on afterwards.

and heels should be high.
What size feet? Got some nice low ones I wore for my wedding that are pretty comfortable (I was pregnant remember, comfort was important!) or some high beaded white ones I had for balls at uni. Less comfortable.

I have never worn heels in my life. There are pimms soirees and afternoon garden parties to which I have to wear a semi formal dress (no skirts, should be summery) and men may wear shirt sleeves if warm and shorts if smart.

I think your joe browns dress with the nice little jacket you mentioned would be ok for that, it looked like a good garden party dress :)

I own one dress. One dress. No heels. Dress isn't particularly formal.

There are fascinators on ebay for about £5 (was looking yesterday)

How breathtakingly rude to say that you should wear high heels! I would be tempted to wear my DMs just to fuck them off. It's useful to know what sort of day it's going to be so that you can dress accordingly but specifying the height of heels is taking the piss. Tell her you've got a bad back and you've been told by a chiropractor to wear flats.