' Fashion' language

[Mendi]

Flicking through Grazia which arrived today because my ex-boyfriend has clearly not realised he's still paying the subscription which just renewed.

WTF is 'a knit'? Is it a jumper? A cardi? A sleeveless top? Or is the only thing that matters the fact that it was 'a Celine knit'?

While I'm on the subject, what is 'a trouser'?? Just one leg?

Does anyone want to start with a "Breton"?

It's jargon - and like all jargon it's meant to a) make users feel important, and b) exclude those who don't understand it. Best ignored.

I dont know what cigarette pants are, but im betting they arent for lounging abut smoking marlborough lites.

I love that your ex is funding your Grazia habit

Just finished mine, love Tuesdays, wine and Grazia night

A trouser is to be worn with a shoe or a boot
Preferably in a nice bright colour so that it pops

I am currently sporting a jogger teamed with a slipper, with a slouchy blanket insouciantly draped over my body. So chic.

I've styled a pyjama shirt with a pyjama trouser, but I'm cleverly subverting the 'pyjamas as daywear' trend by wearing them at night. Fierce.

Amber!

Why is everything 'teamed with' something else. Top teamed with skirt. Coat teamed with bangles. Wtf are they on about.

And don't forget that in order to "team" a garment with another you must "throw on" said items.

ceeveebee the popping colour!!!!!!!lol

Yes and you can't just 'wear' your 'trouser'/'boot'/whatever; you have to 'rock' it.

The worst offender in Grazia is that Polly Vernon. FFS woman! You're at least 40, not 15! Why are you talking that nonsense??

'I like to have fun with my clothes'.

I enjoy clothes as much as the next person, but I wouldn't call it 'fun'.

Don't forget a red lip and a Smokey eye!

You can't just wear pretty, delicate items on their own, you must 'toughen the look up by teaming it with a leather biker jacket/pair of boots.' Annoying.

This morning ive 'mixed up' my dressing goen look by not wearing a bra. Do i go red lips or nude?

Oh god, don't forget to add a bright eye-shadow to make your eyes pop!

Luxe! Is it all 'luxe'? Whatever that means, as the word doesn't seem to exist in any other context?

'Tricksy' when used to mean tricky - as in 'peplums can be tricksy to get right'.

Tricksy doesn't mean tricky, FFS - it means devious.

Rocking a colour block look.
A bold lip.

The all time low of this has to be Jess Cartner-Morley referring to "an opaque tight".

Words fail me.

My personal favourite is a "statement brow"

What on earth is a statement brow? Is it like my DH's mono-brow?

My pet hate is 'colour-way'

I must confess to having a 'statement brow'. The statement being that I'm a lazy skank who doesn't get them waxed often enough.

What other statement can you make with your eyebrows?

If 'skinny jeans' were rebranded 'tight jeans' sales would drop dramatically.