Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us?

[SadSam]

Howdy!!!! Squirrel 3 and I have decided that as we are a bit nutty, we'd like to set up the Nutty Stepmum's Club or NSC. If anyone would like to join us, please add to this post and prove that we are not the only nutters out there!

We would like to add a little bit more nuttyness to our already insane lives!!!!

Sorry to crash into this thread like this but...

BM phoned dp last night and told him she has packed dss's things and he is coming to live with us!!!! DP told her that she can't just bring him over because we were out, "well I'll bring him tomorrow then" she said!!!!!!

Can't talk much on here today either got grandkids here!!!!!

Apparently he has been stealing money and booze, taking the P out of her constantly and being rude and abusive!

Infact all of the things I told dp that he was doing to me last weekend!!!

In a way I feel better that BM has unknowingly backed me up, I'm sure dp thought I was over-reacting. Also I'm glad its not just me he is doing it to but what am I going to do?

I was honest and told dp that I didn't think I could cope with having DSS here full time the way he is ATM. I could have quite cheerfully strangled him last weekend.

Oh no Squirrel!! for you

Just remember it's YOUR house and you don't have to do anything you don't want to do

Don't worry if you can't answer, but I assume something has brought this on? What has DP said to her about this?

You really must stand your ground on this - it's totally unfair of BM to drop this onto you like this

Hello all. It's freezing here too. I hate the cold and have gone round turning all the radiators up. Might have to order some coal as we've got 2 open fires too.

It never ends for you does it Squirrel? Are you OK about having him to live with you? Does he want to come himself?

Squirrel {{{{hugs to you}}}}

Glad you told DP you couldn't cope with him ATM. What has your DP said to BM?

I'll say it again - it's YOUR house, IMO you really should stand your ground on this

for you

They (dss and bm) had a row yesterday, bm phoned dp and told her that he was coming to live with us, she was ranting about how she had caught him stealing booze and had found him drunk a couple of weeks ago.

She had also caught him looking at porn on the computer and he was erm... doing things to himself whilst watching it. She walked in and caught him, (I think its shocking, yet funny in a way, at least its not just me that has to deal with the mess afterwards!) He must have been so embarrasesed!

I told dp that if bm did bring him over he could stay for tonight but then he would have to move into his parents for a while because having him here would put eventually destroy our relationship.

If he was to live with us dp would lose so much money because of having to have so much time off work to get him to and fro school.

It might sound horrid saying I don't want him here but its the way I feel and I know that dp would feel the same way if my dd wanted to live here, he has already told me that he don't think we would still be together if we had met when dd was younger and still living at home.

Hello surfermum, dss wants to live here but as you know we already have dss1 staying here alot of the time (he is doing really well BTW, think he is off the drugs and sorting himself out, he has always been nothing but polite and lovely to me).

DSS2 has been rude, abusive and has been stealing from me, I don't think I can be as supportive of him as I am DSS1 for some reason. I think its because dss1 respects me and listens to me, dss2 doesn't.

Oh, sorry to hear that. I thought it was the same dss. What a difficult situation. And there's me moaning about holidays! Puts it into perspective. I'm glad dss1 is doing well. Do you think that if dss2 lived with you he might settle down and be more like dss1?

Maybe, but I know I wouldn't be able to go through the 'long slog' of straightening dss2 out ATM.

dd is having her MRI scan on her back and hips next week with the possibility of an operation to help her but after the last op she was in a plaster jacket for 3 months, then a plastic back brace for 9 months. thats without the recovery time from the actual operation (stitches, pain etc), I will have to help her with her 4yr old and her 5month old, don't know if I can cope with the stress of a stroppy hormonal teenage boy too.

I feel like I'm being selfish, but dp will have to put his ds 1st and I will have to put my dd and grandkids 1st.

Maybe I'm just panicking at the thought and I will calm down and change my mind but for now... Its not going to happen!

That's understandable, you have an awful lot on your plate still.

I always seem to have a lot on my plate, my life's a soap opera sometimes!

No! I'm not like Dot Branen (sp?) and dp is not like Jim either!

There was a vague mention of dsd coming live with us before the summer because of a situation her mum had got into. Was a worrying thought - dsd is lovely - but I would have had to start doing the school run a couple of years earlier than I planned!

For now, I am left with getting her costume ready for the school concert. It seems dsd is "nothing to do with me", I am "nothing to her" and I "will never do the right thing" unless sewing is involved .

Squirrel please don't feel bad about not wanting him living with you. You have more than enough on your plate ATM and, as you say, he hasn't exactly been pleasant to you to say the least!

Total agree that it would break up your and DPs relationship, also agree that you need to take care of YOUR dd and gkids. You've done more than enough already for your DP and his children, I know I keep saying this but please stand your ground xx

And FWIW (tho I know this won't help you) even tho dsd and I get on well and she's generally a good kid, I could never have her living with us

Def think you have enough on your plate already without havign to take on dss2 as well. You can only give so much and I also think that it would break up you a dp too.

Thank God I can't sew Surfermum!

It funny that you are nothing to do with them, you are not entitled to your opinion about them until you can do something for them!

Think Lea is a MNer in the making, she is trying to type with me and cries everytime I try to take her away from the computer!

One good thing has come out of it BTW, dp is now taking the things I said at the weekend seriously, its a shame that it had to take this though. He says (about the money going missing) that we should mark the money in my purse, leave it laying around in full view of dss and check it periodically to see if any goes missing. If it does he is going to search dss and if he finds my money on him he is in big trouble!

-llu bnhhj m,,nbcgfgfhu kh k.

Lea's 1st post on MN!

Think it roughly translated means "hello everyone"

Hello Lea

lol Dd was like that too. She used to sent 'emails' to her grannie all the time

Yes that is good Squirrel but I agree that it's a shame it took for his ex to tell him and he wouldn't accept it from you. We had a similar situation a couple of months ago - I'd been telling DP since we met that he was too soft with dsd and he was having none of it, then BM told him and he said it was time he did something about it!! I went absolutely ballistic "how come you listen to her but you won't listen to me?? You're not with her anymore, you're with me now!!" etc.etc. Not that it did any good mind you, he's still too bloody soft with her....

If I were you - and you can tell me to mind my own business if you like - I would leave my purse out as you normally would, that way dss won't think it's a test to see if he takes any money

Hello Lea

Squirrel don't let her see the picture of my Halloween outfit, don't want to frighten her

Lea, (after such a deep, thoughtful post) decided that she was worn out and needed a bottle and a nappy change!

NAAM about the purse, yep we are going to leave it out as I usually do and see if any money goes missing, it has got to be dealt with, hiding my purse when he is here isn't a real solution.

Got to go again Lea's is getting tired and needs a cuddle to go to sleep, might be able to talk later, if not, have a lovely weekend everyone!

Have a good weekend everyone

I've got my last days holiday on Monday

Hello, hope everyone had a good weekend.

Mine was good, BM didn't bring dss to us to live, phew, big sigh of relief! DP told her and dss that anyway its not up to her or dss if he comes to live here anyway, its my house and my decision, and if he does want to stay here he needs to treat me with more respect. He asked dss if he really thought that I would want him to live here after the way he had treated me the previous weekend.

I am so pleased that I had his support on this one and it didn't land up with dp and I rowing (think that the last time with us nearly splitting up gave him a good shake).

Morning Glad you had a good weekend and that bm and dss have calmed down. Good on dp putting his foot down with dss too. Its about time. No way should he be allowed to treat you like that.

We ahd a good w/end too tho Ive got a stinking cold. Made some more xmas decs from saltdough which dd loved doing. Our house is gonna look soooooo stylish this Christmas.

dd was a wee minx tho as she managed to get hold of one of the stars covered in gold paint and nibbled off 3 of the points before I clocked her eating it. bratling that she is. Doesnt seem to have done her any harm tho.