AIBU not wanting to take stepchild on last minute holiday?

[froglet15327]

Have just decided last minute I want to go on holiday for child’s 1st birthday just to a caravan park due to money being on the low side (I could do with the break more than anyone). I feel awful but I don’t want ss to come which I know last minute mil is going to suggest we do. SS is 9 and at the best of times very difficult to deal with, throws a tantrum when they don’t get what they want, demands absolutely everything, swears( which makes me so uncomfortable) and sometimes back chats or just becomes very rude towards me when I’ve asked him something. I really want just a calm easy holiday and I know it won’t be that if he comes. He’s going on holiday abroad for his birthday next month with his mother so it’s not like he never goes on holiday and he went with his dad twice last year whilst I was pregnant.

Massive safeguarding issue that fact that MILs alcoholic partner is also sharing the bed 😬

Does either of you work?

? She takes over because your DH allows it and probably likes it.

had friend whose own mum did the same. He told her to back off he was the parent not her.

Dh should be enforcing contact with him not her and cracking down on the swearing. The simple answer is “we don’t allow swearing in this house or with us. If your mum allows it that’s fine. We don’t.” But if DH isn’t actively parenting his child…

everything else you’ve mention is normal child boundary pushing which is solved by parenting, consistency and consequences.

Apart from all the alcohol being consumed, is mil's partner your husband's father? Because having an unrelated male sleeping in a bed with a child is fucking insane.
I don't think related would be much better tbh but JFC

And if MiL has a partner who sleeps over and they both drink, what happens with the poor little boy when they have sex (don't tell us that has never happened in 7 years)? Or is he somehow expected to just sleep through it? If I were the OP, I'd be kicking out the cocklodger bf/husband(?), getting Social Services involved to help the SS, getting some help to understand why she's been putting up with such a shitty situation for however long it's been (and how she'll avoid getting into another similar one) and setting some very clear boundaries for how her DD will be parented.

lol @ every post calling out this nonsense being deleted. What a joke.Yeah, we all need to #bekind and support people no matter what they do. What about the child?

Hi all,

We've removed quite a few posts from this thread. Can we ask that you please bear in mind that there's a real person on the other side of the screen? It's fine to disagree with the OP or to point out concerns about a situation, but there's a difference between offering honest advice and piling on with personal attacks.

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Thanks.