Page 19 | So many problems with SC

M2p · 2025-04-11T08:24:13+00:00

I have been a SM for about a year, SS 12 SD 9 yet I feel like this is just getting worse as it goes along. At first yes it wasn't too bad, meeting them starting to get to know them but as time has gone on I've found myself separating myself from the situation trying to keep busy when their here. So they are very fussy eaters, will never try anything new and if I cook something ive made before that I know they like sometimes they say they don't like it and won't eat. If I don't have dinner done at a certain time all hell breaks loose and it's like I'm starving them to death but they never moan to me about it they go to their dad. They ignore me, even when my P is around, they will ask him questions to ask me. It's even worse when he's not in the house which is a fair bit as he works and he leaves them with me multiple times in the week, i will ask if their hungry and they will just say no all the time, but as soon as my P comes home the first thing they will say is their hungry and haven't ate like I've done it on purpose. Also SD stares at me all the time i can see her out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes she will just stand with her head poking round the door while im doing something it makes me so uncomfortable. These are just the main things there is also little other things that goes on aswell, has anyone ever experienced anything like this before?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Xcellentaligat · 13/04/2025 10:29

Another man after a housekeeper and a nanny for his kids. He’s a massive cheeky fucker.

You deserve better than this. Kick him out.

Watermill · 13/04/2025 10:33

So this man argued with you for six hours, refusing to leave your house?

I wouldn’t give him the time of day to be honest. You had to threaten him with the police in order to get him to show you a tiny bit of respect.

Do not let him back in your house. He will promise you the moon now, but it’s all bollocks. He’s a freeloading piss taker.

Only a very low quality woman would tolerate this nonsense, and that’s not you OP.

viques · 13/04/2025 10:34

GiftWrappedKittyCat2 · 13/04/2025 10:15

I think the environment of a nuclear family is always a difficult one to navigate, but rest assured that a new normal will emerge, you just have to give it time. I do question if your P is happy to see this behaviour, and doesn't try to correct it, or speak to SC??

Have you read the thread? If you haven’t got the time, and it it a long one, click on the “see all” button at the bottom right of any of @M2p posts. Watch the awfulness of her relationship reveal itself. Then wonder what her “new normal”would look like with this awful man, would you really want someone to make the effort to restore this shitstorm?

TwistedKeys · 13/04/2025 10:36

M2p · 13/04/2025 09:49

Morning, I have flicked through most of the messages but there are so many i do apologise if I don't answer anyone's questions. Basically I told him I wasn't coming back until he left which started at 6.39pm he eventually left at 12.16am. There was plenty of messages and 1phone call which is what pushed him to leave i think because I threatened to ring the police. This morning I've allowed him to come and use the bathroom and get ready then he's off out so I can get ready and go meet him to talk. And see where it goes from there

See where it goes? Please bag up his stuff. change your locks, and block him. He’s shown you who he is - believe him and bin him.

Nanny0gg · 13/04/2025 10:36

M2p · 13/04/2025 09:49

Morning, I have flicked through most of the messages but there are so many i do apologise if I don't answer anyone's questions. Basically I told him I wasn't coming back until he left which started at 6.39pm he eventually left at 12.16am. There was plenty of messages and 1phone call which is what pushed him to leave i think because I threatened to ring the police. This morning I've allowed him to come and use the bathroom and get ready then he's off out so I can get ready and go meet him to talk. And see where it goes from there

Where it goes?

Where it goes is him MOVING OUT!

NOW!

But you're going to believe his promises of 'doing better' and how much he 'loves you' and how the 'children love you really and need you'

Aren't you?

Because otherwise you're sending him mixed messages

MarkingBad · 13/04/2025 10:37

Watermill · 13/04/2025 10:33

So this man argued with you for six hours, refusing to leave your house?

I wouldn’t give him the time of day to be honest. You had to threaten him with the police in order to get him to show you a tiny bit of respect.

Do not let him back in your house. He will promise you the moon now, but it’s all bollocks. He’s a freeloading piss taker.

Only a very low quality woman would tolerate this nonsense, and that’s not you OP.

Low quality woman?

That is a deeply misogynistic remark.

The OP has enough to deal with without coming up to your unknowable standards.

rainbowstardrops · 13/04/2025 10:37

Wow, he’s even worse than I’d already pictured him to be!
Well at least you know now what his true colours really are. Hope you can lose the prick from your life today!

TimeConsuming · 13/04/2025 10:37

M2p · 13/04/2025 09:49

Morning, I have flicked through most of the messages but there are so many i do apologise if I don't answer anyone's questions. Basically I told him I wasn't coming back until he left which started at 6.39pm he eventually left at 12.16am. There was plenty of messages and 1phone call which is what pushed him to leave i think because I threatened to ring the police. This morning I've allowed him to come and use the bathroom and get ready then he's off out so I can get ready and go meet him to talk. And see where it goes from there

Well done for getting that far. Now for the resolve to know it won’t change.

Words are easy — and necessary for him to try and convince you that you need him/he needs you. You don’t need him.

He’s shown you what he is and how he is. Believe his actions not his lies.

good luck.

Fathomless · 13/04/2025 10:39

Honestly I think it's a mistake to agree to meet him. You should have ended the relationship and arranged to return his stuff. He will only try to hoover you back in. How can you ever trust someone who you've had tp threaten to call the police on to get them to leave?

Nanny0gg · 13/04/2025 10:39

GiftWrappedKittyCat2 · 13/04/2025 10:15

I think the environment of a nuclear family is always a difficult one to navigate, but rest assured that a new normal will emerge, you just have to give it time. I do question if your P is happy to see this behaviour, and doesn't try to correct it, or speak to SC??

We are 450 posts in.

Would it not have been helpful to at least read the OP's posts (very easy to do) if you couldn't be bothered to read any of the others?

Your post is absolute nonsense

MurdoMunro · 13/04/2025 10:41

GiftWrappedKittyCat2 · 13/04/2025 10:15

I think the environment of a nuclear family is always a difficult one to navigate, but rest assured that a new normal will emerge, you just have to give it time. I do question if your P is happy to see this behaviour, and doesn't try to correct it, or speak to SC??

It’s worth having a look at the thread to see how this conversation has evolved. Things are a long long way from ‘giving it time’

dijonketchup · 13/04/2025 10:42

‘Where it goes’?

OP, I know it is tempting to meet up to hear him say “I’m sorry, you were right, you’ve been amazing and I don’t deserve you” but if he meant that, he would have said it already and you wouldn’t be where you are.

Bin it, move on and thank yourself later.

askmenow · 13/04/2025 10:50

The man he's SHOWN YOU WHO HE IS......BELIEVE HIM!
This can only get worse.

MurdoMunro · 13/04/2025 10:51

I don’t know @dijonketchup, I mean you’re right, of course you are. OP has had so many women here telling her what’s so obvious to us but I’m not sure if she’s totally getting it. Maybe if she can go there are start to see him through our eyes it will start to click? She’s likely trapped in FOG (fear-obligation-guilt) and can hear the voices on the outside but not yet able to start walking towards them. She needs the push as well as the pull?

arethereanyleftatall · 13/04/2025 10:55

Good luck op. You MUST stay strong. Don’t fill silences.

be prepared for the fact that he is good at this, he will manipulate by saying whatever he thinks you want to hear so that he carries on with his chef and nanny.

if you don’t believe us, after all we’re strangers and you know him, see what he says if you suggest going back to just dating, always without his children, and living separately. If he liked you as a person, he’d be happy with that wouldn’t he? If he doesn’t, then he will come up with anything and everything to keep his nanny and chef. My money is on ‘but I love you so much I can’t bear to be apart… but you can’t go all dramatic like this on me again.’

Purplecatshopaholic · 13/04/2025 11:06

Well done so far op. Where does it go from here? You dump him and go home, and he and the kids leave. Do not fall for his lies and manipulation, please don’t. He’s using you, and deep down you know it.

PinkPonyClubber · 13/04/2025 11:06

I wouldn’t meet him to talk. All he’s going to say is things will change, he will help more, he’ll look after his children.
He’s already shown himself up, even if he did it for a week he will slip back into the same behaviour.
you’d be better off packing for him.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 13/04/2025 11:07

Where do you want things to go from here?

You chat and he tells you want he thinks you want to hear.
He gets his foot, and kids back in the door.
Inside he's laughing at you.
All's well for a few months.
Things revert back to how they are now.

You decide that you do want to be with him and except that they'll all behave as seen.

You decide, if you do want to stay with him but to live separately for the foreseeable.

Reality is it's up to him as the DC's father to supply a home for his DC to live in and not rely on a woman that already has a home so he can move them in and make her feel pushed out and uncomfortable.

You do get to choose which way you want this to go..

What makes you think he'll suddenly start being responsible?
It really should be because he wants to and not because he fears he's going to be loosing his unpaid maid?

pinkyredrose · 13/04/2025 11:16

PinkPonyClubber · 13/04/2025 08:49

So so many of these posts, you aren’t alone OP.

Unfortunately you are a woman so you must want to care and parent his children in his world and be grateful for it.
Has he got a mum he can go stay with? I’d be booting him out asap, have you got someone who can come round and support you.
Guaranteed he will with someone else in a few months.

Oh the irony 😂

arethereanyleftatall · 13/04/2025 11:26

indeed @pinkyredrose, and I bet a tenner that that is precisely what he will do. It’s women’s work and beneath him to learn to cook or do childcare. He won’t even consider it. He will go back to his mum, & get straight on the apps to find a new nanny with a fanny.

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/04/2025 11:27

You have a lot of support on here OP, please keep chatting as and when it’s helpful to you. Please be careful if you definitely want to meet him, public place, quick exit if needed. He sounds quite volatile and he’ll be panicking about losing his comfy set up so he’ll probably alternate pleading with trying to sound reasonable and upsetting you and undermining your very reasonable concerns.

You’ve been so strong and happier stress free days lie ahead of you, without him draining you dry.

Fathomless · 13/04/2025 11:30

The biggest problem with this relationship is that your dp has no respect for you, and is verbally abusive (swearing and refusing to leave) and manipulative. You can't have a chat and sort this out, you can't talk respect into someone, and you cannot talk abusive behaviours out of someone.

Omgblueskys · 13/04/2025 11:40

M2p · 12/04/2025 08:50

Thing is now after all that's been posted on here I don't know wether to do dinner tonight or not cause they will expect it. Do you think just should get back in time and make it like i normally would or try and stay out?

No no no!!!! you stay out, infact treat yourself to a nice dinner in peace, go back after dinner time,
Let him finish work early and cook his children's dinner,
You have a lovely day, lovely dinner, off home to soak in a nice bath,

SoMauveMonty · 13/04/2025 11:42

You deserve so much better than someone in your life you have to threaten with the police because of their behaviour OP.
He needs to take a short walk off a long pier and leave you in peace.

MonderMomen77 · 13/04/2025 11:51

Stay strong, imagine your life a year from now, independent happy free exciting.