So many problems with SC

[M2p]

I have been a SM for about a year, SS 12 SD 9 yet I feel like this is just getting worse as it goes along.
At first yes it wasn't too bad, meeting them starting to get to know them but as time has gone on I've found myself separating myself from the situation trying to keep busy when their here. So they are very fussy eaters, will never try anything new and if I cook something ive made before that I know they like sometimes they say they don't like it and won't eat. If I don't have dinner done at a certain time all hell breaks loose and it's like I'm starving them to death but they never moan to me about it they go to their dad. They ignore me, even when my P is around, they will ask him questions to ask me. It's even worse when he's not in the house which is a fair bit as he works and he leaves them with me multiple times in the week, i will ask if their hungry and they will just say no all the time, but as soon as my P comes home the first thing they will say is their hungry and haven't ate like I've done it on purpose. Also SD stares at me all the time i can see her out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes she will just stand with her head poking round the door while im doing something it makes me so uncomfortable. These are just the main things there is also little other things that goes on aswell, has anyone ever experienced anything like this before?

I hope the next few days settle you OP and that you get the time and space to see how much more peaceful and easy life can, and should be.

I pity the sister though. I hope she’s fit for him and doesn’t let get taken advantage of. No men in his life willing to take him in?

@M2p

Well done for taking such a brave step. You've done the right thing.

Did you make it clear to him it's over or does he think you're on a break?

She hasn’t said it’s over?

Sounds like a fairly epic week for you.

I hope he isn’t just “staying” with his sister, but has moved out of yours.

good luck.

CHANGE THE LOCKS and enjoy your peace and freedom.

How are you feeling this evening @M2p ?

@M2p

I'm glad you got to say what you needed to say and that he didn't try (or didn't succeed in) talking you round.

I am confused by the wording of 'staying with' his sister. Do you mean before he finds his own place or do you think he contemplates coming back? How do you feel about that?

Now is time to try to decompress from talking to him. It's almost like when they do a 'debrief' after an event. You need to review the events, figure what you need to 'digest' (if anything) from what was said, and then put the rest away mentally.

Be prepared for him to turn up in a day or two asking to stay 'for the night' as it 'hasn't worked out' at his sisters.

Stay strong and change the locks!

I do hope you're taking some time for yourself OP.

A break of at least a few weeks from your DP and his DC will be the only true way for you to decide if it's what you want.

It's not relevant if he's decided he doesn't want to stay moveed out, he had his chance and got to comfortable.
It's your home and ultimately your decision.

You may see after a few weeks that you've put to much of you time into him and his DC's wants and find a bit of peace is for you for the foreseeable.

Excellent post from @AnotherForumUser . You need to print it out @M2p and read it any time you feel your resolve wearing thin and you want to take him back.

Because if you do, he will be well behaved for about 4-6 weeks. Then his behaviour will quickly deteriorate again and he will be worse than before. He will demand that you “ give him credit for trying to do what you demand “ and say that nothing he ever does is good enough for you , you are controlling etc.

So please don’t take him back - men like him don’t change for the better.

Op...HE HAS BEEN USING YOU!

Do not let him move back in

Be strong @M2p Don’t waste years and years on this nonsense.

He'll be staying at his sister's. Delegating the nannying and housekeeping to another woman, while she provides a room over their head.

Until he goes back to @M2p , or meets another woman.

Oh I’m so glad you’re ok @M2p , I was worried about you encase things turned violent after his angry call to you telling you there were 4 people in the house, not just you!…. And telling you not to talk to him that night!…..
what horrible responses from him just because you weren’t playing his house maid and childminder!! Just goes to show what he felt your sole role was…. Cooking for and cleaning up after him and his kids! What a cheeky flipper!

& also hugs to you @M2p xx

Even the right thing is often hard and hurts xx

Seconded posts from above and from @AnotherForumUser.
Bear in mind that while he's staying with sister, it is easier to end it. If he moves back in you will be in the more difficult position of going through all of this all over again.