So many problems with SC

[M2p]

I have been a SM for about a year, SS 12 SD 9 yet I feel like this is just getting worse as it goes along.
At first yes it wasn't too bad, meeting them starting to get to know them but as time has gone on I've found myself separating myself from the situation trying to keep busy when their here. So they are very fussy eaters, will never try anything new and if I cook something ive made before that I know they like sometimes they say they don't like it and won't eat. If I don't have dinner done at a certain time all hell breaks loose and it's like I'm starving them to death but they never moan to me about it they go to their dad. They ignore me, even when my P is around, they will ask him questions to ask me. It's even worse when he's not in the house which is a fair bit as he works and he leaves them with me multiple times in the week, i will ask if their hungry and they will just say no all the time, but as soon as my P comes home the first thing they will say is their hungry and haven't ate like I've done it on purpose. Also SD stares at me all the time i can see her out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes she will just stand with her head poking round the door while im doing something it makes me so uncomfortable. These are just the main things there is also little other things that goes on aswell, has anyone ever experienced anything like this before?

Genuine question.
In what way?

Oh look there it came - the emotional blackmail if you are not nice to me and look after my children and cook for them then I will have no alternative but to leave ( yippee !!! ) and sleep in the car

that must have pulled at your heartstrings that you have rushed back and ordered and paid for pizza for everyone...

Nice,I think we've got some problems going on that I want to calm down and talk about but you'd rather argue and split up,I think you should think it through a bit

Examine that message @M2p . Suddenly, he is the reasonable grown up wanting to have a calm discussion about the issues in your relationship whilst you are the petulant child wanting to argue and split up, and he's urging you to 'think it through a bit'.

What an arrogant, disrespectful, absisive, patronising and manipulative twat. Find your anger and outrage. Or borrow mine. because I'm angry and outraged on your behalf.

Tell him you've had a think like he suggested, and you've decided to break up with him. Thank him massively for his suggestion to think things through because it really has helped to make this a very easy decision, and one you should have made a long time ago. Tell him your decision is final and it's not up for discussion.

He moved in with you. And they are his kids. If he can't feed them without accusing you of not doing a job properly then perhaps he needs to understand what a Dad is.

I'm usually in full support of people being proper SM but he's just using you as a Nanny with benefits. I wonder if was similarly horrible to his ex. And how long before the emotional abuse gets physical?

I think he DOES need to sleep in the car. Or get a hotel for himself and the kids. He has no right to treat you like that nor expect you to look after them unless you offer. They are his responsibility, not yours. And their behaviour towards you is as disgusting as his.

I don’t think he can. It’s OP’s home and he isn’t on the mortgage/tenancy.

These types then often escalate to blackmail with ttheir trump card of threats of suicide (indirectly or directly) ..... this is where you call his bluff and call police for a welfare check - if he is at risk then the professionals will be there to sort him out - if hes bluffing he wont do that again.

However as previous PP said if you dont like confrontation and conflict - just block him.

He is a bully, a manipulative bully.

Notice how he changes his tune as soon as you call his shit and take him to his worst…
Suddenly all nice and reasonable….

You need to brace for more of that to come.
im hoping you’ll be able to tell him to get lost tomorrow and move away.
Just remember that he’ll use both the insults agd trying to bully you into him staying and the calm reasonable person struggling to deal with an awful person. And that none of that is true.
It’s just a bulky angry he isn’t getting his own way.

Oh and please don’t give 1 week to fall back on his feet. He’ll make it hell.

Reply: Yes I want to split up. I have split up with you in fact. let me know when it suits you to collect the rest of your stuff and I'll make sure my brother/friend/whoever is here to meet you. Best of luck.

and change the locks and block him. you'll never regret it.

This is the adults fault including yours . You need to make rules and keep rules . Feed them at certain times , if they are not hungry then they go without . If they moan to dad then dad should be supporting you .
Have you tried to make a connection with them at all ? When my step kids come to ours I make them feel very welcome but the same rules I have for my kids I apply to them and there is no way their dad wouldn’t have my back . You are a team, your partner needs to make sure his kids respect you .

Taking the kids home and sleeping in the car is not a threat, it's a good idea so far as you're concerned. For him the prospect of sleeping in the car for the forseeable future is not welcome so he wants to negotiate - while also being unable to stop himself blaming you. Don't let this continue. You have thought it through and his reply tells you all you need to know, if you hadn't realised already. Change the locks as soon as you can and try to have someone with you if you let him into your house to collect his stuff - or leave it somewhere he can pick it up - thank god it's your house.
If he is aggressive it just shows even more it's high time he was out of your life.

I have calmly thought it through, which is exactly why I want to split up. Hope the car is warm enough.

Thats the second time he has F-bombed you from your posts - does he often speak to you in such a degrading and abusive way?

Its also really very sad to read that you have had to think about having your friends caravan on standby to escape the hostility towards you in YOUR OWN HOME by these three freeloaders. Get them all gone asap.

Edited

Op you deserve so much better than this

Be strong OP

You are doing the kids a huge favour by kicking the freeloader out, you really are.

Of course they are upset by this bullshit, they didn't ask for this. It's one hundred percent his problem though. What an absolute moron he is.

How dare he demand you provide unpaid childcare and chef services? And housekeeper service? Wtf.

Be a good example to them. Be good to yourself.

Block him, change the locks, the end.

Not just childcare and chef @ScaredOfDinosaurs. He’s getting serviced all round 🤮

Do you / he think you are coming ' home ' tonight and you will be getting in your bed - and he will be getting in it too...

even tho you are not to talk to him tonight...

Love it when the trash takes itself out…
Except I bet a million pounds that he didn’t take the kids home or leave as then he’d lose his cushy little number with live in slave. He had nothing to gain by leaving.
Please call his bluff and get him and his kids to leave.

Fucking hell do you need to share a bed with this wanker tonight? He needs to be on the sofa

Lol at this man trying to pretend that it's in OP's interests to stay in this relationship!

He sounds like a typical user....
Absolutely zero catch .

Ditch & be single until your equal comes along.

Such a Donald Trump response from him, what a dick.
You on the other hand sound awesome. Stay strong.

Whose house are you living in? Yours? Boot him out and make him look after his own children. His? Make plans to leave

OMG! No no no no no. This is not right at all. Surely you can see that after the comments from other PPs