Page 2 | Partners kids are jealous of our kids

Mummy98736362 · 2025-01-18T06:41:56+00:00

So my partner had 2 kids with ex wife. She stopped them from seeing him for 6 years ( since I had our first child) he’s finally able to see them again but the ex wife keeps telling my partner not to bring our kids because his other 2 kids get jealous they are not spending time with their father. This is so annoying for me, I work full time it’s now impacting my work. I just don’t know how to feel about this? I feel it’s unfair and she’s not being very thoughtful about my kids who by the way want to go and see their other siblings. What’s your view on this? What do I do?

Original poster

Mummy98736362 · 18/01/2025 07:19

how is it only an inconvenience for me? We both are parents. If he’s got responsibilities of looking after OUR kids on the day I work why should this become a problem for me? I stand my ground on what I feel and say.

OP posts:

kimchisauchio · 18/01/2025 07:20

If ever a relationship has DOOMED stamped over it… it’s this one

BCBird · 18/01/2025 07:21

They need that bonding time. There should be exclusive time with them and dad. Their jealousy is totally understandable. Your partner and his ex need to sort a time out that suits. As far as your work routine, his ex won't be considering that.

Completelyjo · 18/01/2025 07:21

Mummy98736362 · 18/01/2025 07:17

i know he needs to see his kids, I’m not getting in the way nor would I ever do that. I’m just saying I have days off during the week where I could stay with our kids and he could go and see them alone and spend as much time as wanted with them however she always insists on the day I’m working and she wants him to leave my kids with other people. I don’t think that’s fair on her side, I’m not being selfish but I also don’t want my husband to have to Inconvenience other people EVERY time.

Surely he realistically needs to see them at the weekend because they are at school in the week? He can’t really bond with them after 6 years if all he’s doing is dropping them home from school.
He can’t arrange childcare for a few hours for his youngest two and see his older two alone. It’s not some impossible situation.

kimchisauchio · 18/01/2025 07:21

Completelyjo · 18/01/2025 07:18

You chose to have another child with a man who repeatedly told you he couldn’t really be arsed to see his other children? For 6 years? Strange.
Let me guess other than the fact that he’s an absent father and doesn’t place his children as important in his life he’s somehow a really good man?

Edited

Show quote history

Apparently he didn’t see them from when he first started seeing the Op

imagine carrying on dating someone who’s just 🤷 “yeah I don’t see my young kids”

OneWittySquid · 18/01/2025 07:22

You had a kid with a man who disregarded his kids he couldn't be arsed to make an application to court and didn't see them for 6 years. I suspect there's alot more to this situation your not telling. I hope he atleast pays for them

Rachmorr57 · 18/01/2025 07:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

boltt · 18/01/2025 07:22

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 18/01/2025 06:59

I think it's pretty rich that a women who stopped her children seeing there father at all is now dictating to him how he does it!

Entirely depends on her reasoning

Original poster

Mummy98736362 · 18/01/2025 07:23

Darling, read the post please. His kids met my kids when they were all younger. Come off my post. You’re just trying to slaughter me. I wonder what type of life you live? Sat on a website being horrible to people? What a lovely life you’ve got at ;)

OP posts:

boltt · 18/01/2025 07:25

Mummy98736362 · 18/01/2025 07:23

Darling, read the post please. His kids met my kids when they were all younger. Come off my post. You’re just trying to slaughter me. I wonder what type of life you live? Sat on a website being horrible to people? What a lovely life you’ve got at ;)

Ooooh... stop OP...

DeffoNeedANameChange · 18/01/2025 07:25

Mummy98736362 · 18/01/2025 07:17

i know he needs to see his kids, I’m not getting in the way nor would I ever do that. I’m just saying I have days off during the week where I could stay with our kids and he could go and see them alone and spend as much time as wanted with them however she always insists on the day I’m working and she wants him to leave my kids with other people. I don’t think that’s fair on her side, I’m not being selfish but I also don’t want my husband to have to Inconvenience other people EVERY time.

An hour or two after school on a week day is nothing like a good amount of time on a weekend.

You might need to consider changing to your working pattern to accommodate your new childcare needs if you're not happy with them being farmed out all the time.

If he'd insisted on seeing them right from the beginning, then having all the kids together would always have been the norm. As things stand, it's going to take some time to get to that point.

Completelyjo · 18/01/2025 07:27

Mummy98736362 · 18/01/2025 07:23

Darling, read the post please. His kids met my kids when they were all younger. Come off my post. You’re just trying to slaughter me. I wonder what type of life you live? Sat on a website being horrible to people? What a lovely life you’ve got at ;)

She stopped them from seeing him for 6 years ( since I had our first child)

I mean your own OP directly contradicts that. So he hasn’t seen his children since your first child was born, but also all the children have met?

kimchisauchio · 18/01/2025 07:27

Mummy98736362 · 18/01/2025 07:23

Darling, read the post please. His kids met my kids when they were all younger. Come off my post. You’re just trying to slaughter me. I wonder what type of life you live? Sat on a website being horrible to people? What a lovely life you’ve got at ;)

Just glad our life isn’t your life Op.

married to this man

Dandylione · 18/01/2025 07:27

Your thread title is weird. It's clear where your focus of irritation actually is from that. It's not about how it's inconvenient that there's only one day your DH can see his kids, it's saying two children he couldn't be arsed with are jealous.

I think that's why you're getting a bit of a critical response.

DeffoNeedANameChange · 18/01/2025 07:30

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 18/01/2025 06:59

I think it's pretty rich that a women who stopped her children seeing there father at all is now dictating to him how he does it!

Or does it make you wonder why she stopped him seeing them in the first place......

Diomi · 18/01/2025 07:30

Your DH needs to sort this out. If he has to organise and pay for the childcare, he might work out a way of seeing his kids in a way that suits you all. He sounds very passive so he will probably steer towards the easiest option.

kimchisauchio · 18/01/2025 07:30

DeffoNeedANameChange · 18/01/2025 07:30

Or does it make you wonder why she stopped him seeing them in the first place......

Show quote history

Interesting

Puppalicious · 18/01/2025 07:30

For godsake these responses are ridiculous. The ex is trying to control things to be difficult, I love how none of the previous posts are addressing this? If you are working, then he is responsible for looking after your kids and if the ex only wants him to see them that day then he will need to bring his younger children along. Surely either bringing the children along or changing the day is an easier solution that the OP changing her job?

TaggieO · 18/01/2025 07:31

He’s swerved those responsibilities for 6 years. You and your children have had his undivided attention for 6 years. So you need to suck it up, and find alternative childcare.

beAsensible1 · 18/01/2025 07:32

I’m assuming its evening work as theyll
be at school during the day.

Can he get someone to watch your children on that evening for a bit to help him rebuild the relationship. Can the Gp help?

surely you can understand why he doesn’t want to rock the boat if as you say he’s prevented from seeing his children? I think you need to support him in this, imagine not seeing yours for 6 years. You probably do anything to maintain the contact.

if she’s as bad as you say you need to support him rather than him having it come from both sides. Once he is consistent he c will have more leeway and they may even come to him.

sort some childcare with gp for the next month or so he may have to pay. Not fair to have a go at him when he is trying to just keep everyone happy and frankly your children have got the good end of the bargain

Amuseaboosh · 18/01/2025 07:32

He can pay for or arrange alternative childcare. You do your work. You're being obtuse for no reason.

The only people that matter here are the 2 older children who will no doubt have been scared by this shit show.

It seems none of the adults have done their best for them, the most pathetic being your dickhead of a husband.

Find some decency in yourself and stop being a bitch.

One day, your kids will likely be in the same situation as the other 2. You'd want kindness for them.

kimchisauchio · 18/01/2025 07:32

Puppalicious · 18/01/2025 07:30

For godsake these responses are ridiculous. The ex is trying to control things to be difficult, I love how none of the previous posts are addressing this? If you are working, then he is responsible for looking after your kids and if the ex only wants him to see them that day then he will need to bring his younger children along. Surely either bringing the children along or changing the day is an easier solution that the OP changing her job?

You missed that the op tried to get him to go to court to see his very young children but he just 🤷 didn’t bother

Amuseaboosh · 18/01/2025 07:33

Amuseaboosh · 18/01/2025 07:32

He can pay for or arrange alternative childcare. You do your work. You're being obtuse for no reason.

The only people that matter here are the 2 older children who will no doubt have been scared by this shit show.

It seems none of the adults have done their best for them, the most pathetic being your dickhead of a husband.

Find some decency in yourself and stop being a bitch.

One day, your kids will likely be in the same situation as the other 2. You'd want kindness for them.

Scarred not scared

TaggieO · 18/01/2025 07:35

So if he hasn’t seen his children in 6 years but he met yours when they were younger then your children are in fact at least 7 and at school, not at home requiring childcare….?

HongKongFinish · 18/01/2025 07:36

I think it's a bit suspicious that of all the days, and after six long years, that he can only see his kids on the one day a week he is 'unavailable '.
His kids are old enough to meet him pretty much anytime out of school hours and able to have a say on this. To be frank, he could have made an effort long before now (and still could) to find a way round this if he really wanted to.
Are you sure that this isn't just a convenient excuse to continue avoiding his children?