Holidays with or without DSD

[terracottasaucer]

How do you manage holidays with step children? I feel like I’m not allowed a holiday with my own children, and made to feel evil for even wanting to.

This

It is no concern of yours how many times your stepchild /children get taken away by the other side of their family. Your step children are your other half’s children and they are just as entitled to go on holiday with their dad as your children are.

@Bachboo exactly...we can go on holiday with and without...simple fairness. Do people also forget how expensive holidays are? Plus why should I go on holiday during school holidays when its triple the price when my children are younger than 5 so can go term time when its quieter and cheaper? Its constantly 'poor SC' when they double/triple everythjng...ultimately all that teaches them is entitlement and high expectations.

We also have an age gap.

We go on holiday in term time with our baby (turning toddler) and my other half takes his daughter away in school holidays.

OP if you read this then it’s absolutely fine to go on holiday without you step child. They don’t have to be involved in every plan you ever make. Sometimes as a mother you have to put your kids first and that also includes taking them on holiday without your step child.

we do some holidays with dsd and some without! That’s life. She gets holidays with her mum, just like my kids get holidays with me.

But it’s all this “ my children “…

Its constantly 'poor SC' when they double/triple everythjng...ultimately all that teaches them is entitlement and high expectations

Entitlement? A child shouldn't expect to be included as part of the family when it comes to holidays?

Wow.

High expectations! 🤣

Sounds like Harry Potter and the Dursleys!

It is hardly unreasonable to want to go on (some) holiday as a group of four. The father can balance it by going somewhere with just her as well.

I would never ever ever go on holiday without my kids when they were kids - so I wouldn't have much respect for a man who woudl.
That's a wee glimpse of how he would treat your kids if you split up - as also rans

Nope.

You got with someone who already had children. You made that choice, your step children didn’t and they are just as entitled to holiday with their father as your children are.

Exactly. Holidays with and holidays without

It is not exactly at all. You appear to dislike your step children and the very thought that they might in some way be getting more than yours when it is NONE of your concern how often their mother takes them away on holiday.

But me guess the children's mother can go on holiday without them.

Again that would be nothing to do with you

There is absolutely nothing wrong with going on holiday without your step kids.

It honestly doesn’t matter that you got with someone with kids. HE got with someone without kids. He made that choice to have a family with you and you are also entitled to go away with him and your kids.

As a woman YOU have the choice whether to get involved with a man with children and if YOU chose to participate in that relationship YOU have to accept the stepchildren will be just as important to their father as any of the children you may have together. If you don’t want the hassle of stepchildren don’t get involved with a man who has them. It’s YOUR choice

As important doesn't automatically mean joining each and every holiday, especially with bigger age difference.

The idea that the father goes with the new family without the older child and takes the older child separately for a holiday focused on them is perfectly valid.

I do agree with what you have said but this brings me back to my original point of if you don’t want to extra responsibility and financial hit of stepchildren don’t get involved with a man who already has his own. There seems to be a lot of women in this thread who object to having stepchildren and the issues this brings when the answer to that is easy - don’t get involved in the first place .

It’s also HIS choice to bring a women into HIS kids life. It’s glaringly obvious that she will want to do things without his kids at times which is completely fine and if HE doesn’t like that then maybe he should be looking at HIS choices.

and no one said the SC wouldn’t be as important as any new children but that doesn’t mean they have to come on every holiday.

Absolute rubbish. The hypothetical man can’t force a woman into a relationship with him. Are you trying to say a woman is completely helpless and it’s all the man’s choice and she has no say in getting involved? At the end of the day the children come first both his first set of kids and any other he may have and they should all be treated the same.

What are you talking about ? Going on about something that’s not even relevant.

It’s his choice to get involved with someone who doesn’t have kids and when going on to have kids with her it should then be obvious that at some points she will want to do stuff with just her kids and him. If he can’t accept that then he shouldn’t have kids with multiple women.

Yes kids come first but as a step mum as well, my kids come first to me and I will do what’s right by them first which includes taking them on holiday with and without DSD when required.

Comprehension is not your strength. This man came into the relationship with visible children. If you or the OP didn’t want this you should have walked away. From your previous posts you are blaming the man for getting involved with a woman without her own children which is simply ridiculous. You honestly sound jealous of your stepchildren.

Didn’t think it would be long until personal insults came into it. It’s always the same on the step parenting board. If someone doesn’t agree with you then they result to personal insults. It’s so pathetic.

Always blame the women though isn’t it. It could never be the man’s fault.

Nearly you really do need to chill and and
projecting your own issues with your husband and step children here.