Husband being dramatic over holiday

[Pluddy67]

I recently went away with a friend abroad.

I purchased my 2yo a small gift whilst there and also rang to speak to her every day. I also bought my sister a gift as she helped a couple of the days collecting from nursery when H wasn't home yet.

Husband made comments when I got back about it being unreasonable that I hadn't bought something for DSS. He also mentioned the fact I never even asked to speak to DSS or say hello when I facetimed our DD.

I think he's being silly and a bit dramatic. Especially re the facetime thing. Of course I missed our DD and wanted to see her. It may sound awful but I didn't think about DSS once and certainly didn't miss him, why would I be desperate to say hello to him?

DSS is 11 for reference.

I don’t think that’s the point though is it?

Your partner was upset that you’re not showing any interest in his child, who lives with you half of the week.

H is always very sensitive about minor stuff like this imo even when no one else cares (especially SS).

SS may not be upset in the moment about it, but theses 'minor' things all point towards you not caring about him and he will get that vibe from you.

This isn’t ‘minor stuff’. You’ve shown your DH that you don’t care about his DS at all. I’m not surprised he’s upset.

H is always very sensitive about minor stuff like this imo even when no one else cares (especially SS).

I would hardly call this minor. Your dislike for DSS is obvious, and I suspect he knows exactly how little you care about him.

You do realise that your stepson is your daughter’s brother right? They are siblings. He lives half of his life with you. Really poor way to treat the poor kid.

I had no idea no.

Now you're being silly. You know perfectly well he's your daughter's brother.

Also when asked “does he live with you?” You said “no” but he is there 3 nights a week so he does live with you, but in your mind he doesn’t, like he comes to stay but it’s not his home.

Certainly seems that way.

Absolutely this.

It’s mot
mi or. I get not asking to talk to him, but agree that buying for one and not even a token for the other is lousy. Probably shows in other ways too.

You could have got the bairn something OP. I'd be upset about that as well.

Of course I do... hence it being a stupid question.

Based on your replies, you clearly don't think you're in the wrong and definitely don't care.

If this were a man and he was treating his step kids differently than his own, he'd be absolutely slammed on here and out the door!

Your DSS may not be aware but your DH is. I think you may have caused some irreparable damage there to be honest.

Then bloody act like it then!

Ok could have gotten him a pack of sweets or something. But not asking H to go and find him every time I wanted to speak to my own DD is ridiculous to me.

To be fair, that was a pretty silly question from the pp.

OP I get your point about the SS not noticing either way but can understand your DH's hurt that you showed little care for him. I think you do need to make more of an effort to include him, whether he notices or not.

If the shoe was on the other foot, your DH being away, coming back with a wee gift for his child and nothing for your child, how would you feel?

Of course yabu.
Wow.

(Step mum and also my children have a step mum).

Yeah I think that’s a bit sad. You obviously don’t see him as a member of your family and I can see why your DH is upset.

Your thread title is inconsistent with your post.
hes not being “dramatic” over your holiday is he? He’s pretty pissed off at you not considering his son.
not only do you come across as spiteful you’re also then being goady with responses

DH doesn't buy anything for the DC when he goes away. But if he did, both of them are his so hardly comparable.

'Is X there with you? No? Oh, don't go and interrupt him for my benefit, but tell him I said hi.'

Wouldn't kill you would it.

Did you ask after him on the phone?