Husband being dramatic over holiday

[Pluddy67]

I recently went away with a friend abroad.

I purchased my 2yo a small gift whilst there and also rang to speak to her every day. I also bought my sister a gift as she helped a couple of the days collecting from nursery when H wasn't home yet.

Husband made comments when I got back about it being unreasonable that I hadn't bought something for DSS. He also mentioned the fact I never even asked to speak to DSS or say hello when I facetimed our DD.

I think he's being silly and a bit dramatic. Especially re the facetime thing. Of course I missed our DD and wanted to see her. It may sound awful but I didn't think about DSS once and certainly didn't miss him, why would I be desperate to say hello to him?

DSS is 11 for reference.

You need to get out more.

Always find it a bit weird when posters look up those that don't agree with them. Some people won't share your view. It doesn't make them the OP.

So Step mothers aren't mothers?

It will depend on the family. I am a mother to my children yes. Im not my stepchildrens mother.

I don't think OP did anything terrible. Maybe I'm her too!

@spookySpok then you're simply "a step".

I know. It’s bizarre behaviour… I just presume they have nothing better to do.

Didn’t realise I had to fall in line. Like I said… get out more.

Or maybe you and me are the same person as well and I’m all 3! 😆

You are being a very awful stepmom by this act. Bringing back a gift to a child won’t hurt you. Even if you don’t care, as it seems you don’t. You are a mother. It does not matter that your Ss Would not care. As the eldest you should. I apologize but you sound like a very entitled unapologetic unaware of her mistakes mom. Your husband is right. What you did is wrong.

That's fine. Step, friend, dad's wife. Whatever! 😊

Not to their stepchildren, no.

HE knew he had a child - if he wanted another mother figure for said child he shouldn’t have married someone that wasn’t of the same opinion.

If OP cares enough to still be reading this thread I imagine it’s purely for the entertainment value tbh. It jumped the shark at least a dozen pages ago.

I’ve been silently watching this thread for a few days now. I see the OP’s POV.

Yeah she gave birth to one child and chose to take on another by getting together with a man who already had a child. It’s fine if people don’t want to raise other people’s kids, but if you choose to get involved then do it properly.

Oh dear lord, this one sounds even worse than the OP 😂 No one forced you to marry a guy with a child but if you do then you better be prepared to be a good stepmom, even if it’s just for your husband.

As the parent of a child I had before I met my now husband, thus the one bringing a step child in to the equation. No your husband isn't being silly and yes you are unreasonable. I was be furious is my husband bought for his biological 3 children we share but not my daughter. But he's never treated her or loved her any different to our children we share together. When you get in a relationship with someone who has a child from a previous relationship the agreement usually is they come as a package. If you have no intention of treating that child the same as your own, don't get in a relationship with someone who has a child!

Wow. For context I would never think to not bring my stepdaughter something if I was buying for my two sons - I'd buy them all something.

Well no, she doesn’t need to be prepared to do anything more than what she is doing. She also didn’t suggest that her husband has any issue with how she is.

That was a generic “you”, not specifically for the poster. If one marries a guy with a child, then one better be prepared to be a good stepmom, even if it’s just for the husband.

What constitutes a ‘good stepmom’ is up to the individual in question. Whether this is acceptable or not to the parent is similarly up to the parent. Whether they meet your standard or not isn’t something they need to worry about, or take note of at all.

You don’t say.

But if the OP says her husband is not happy, then she’s clearly not meeting his standards. And when the OP posts about it on an open forum then she clearly is asking about other people’s opinion.

“Good stepmum” usually just means do as you’re told and never say no.

@funinthesun19 @InterIgnis @Gogogowall Tell me you're a step parent with a similar outlook on those inconvenient steps kids you don't feel obligated to treat well, without telling me.

I’m not a stepparent actually. Single mum and RP here.