To those SPs on their knees. I quit step parenting a year ago and it’s bliss!

[IQuitStepParentingandILikedIt]

I know my pov is quite rare so I wanted to share about the most peaceful year of my adult life.

DSD and her abusive mother made my life hell continuously in large and small ways. I was ready to leave DH last Christmas due to the unhappiness I felt trapped within.

Instead, I told DSD (17) and her mother that neither were to come into my home again. Ever.

There was the predictable slew of abuse etc but nothing they weren’t returning my decade’s worth of kindness with anyway, so I took it on the chin and blocked them on all platforms.

In this one year, my mental space has opened up so much room for creative pursuits, friendships, lovely outings and holidays with DH and our DD. No drama, no abuse just peace and safety.

I’ve just had the most calm, warm and beautiful Christmas ever and I don’t regret my decision one bit.

As women, we are held to saintly standards and expected to love another man’s children, carry a huge burden of domestic labour and mental load to meet their needs. We’re expected to allow step children to get away with overstepping our own boundaries and often feel like strangers in our own homes. Weekends interfered with, plans changed, no thanks from anyone ever despite the enormous sacrifices.

Best decision I’ve ever made.

Sad it had to be this way but DSD and her mother wouldn’t even meet me half way so I was out. And it’s bliss.

@Chocolatebuttonns
I will answer that.
No it's not ok but it can happen.

There are a lot of things you do to protect yourself and your family and home.

Leaving your car unlocked, leaving your purse lying around, leaving your patio door unlocked or your windows open.

You should not have to do these things but because there is a risk so you do them to protect yourself and your family.

Anyone with a brain knows this.

I never insisted the Op made me understand.

I never required to understand the Ops position. I wondered about it. If you can’t see the difference, that’s an issue you have.

Why would you think I thought the op was required to make me understand?

&@Chocolatebuttonns
Do you go out and leave your door unlocked and accessible to anyone?

Never mind an abuser who lives 3 doors down.

Just wondering.

@Chocolatebuttonns
Of course it's not ok.

But if you you leave a door unlocked and you get robbed the insurance is invalid as that's your fault.

OP had to take some responsibility

@Chocolatebuttonns

If the only person in the wrong in the ex wife then why are you vilifying a 17 year old?

No one randomly enters my home. It's not that hard.

@Chocolatebuttonns
Do random people enter your home?

Good for you.

Being a step mother is a shit show.

Yet any other time it's suggested that it's a persons' own fault for putting themselves in danger, as for example with women who stay with abusive partners, the old "don't blame the victim" crowd comes out screaming.

The OP shouldn't have to lock up anything; decent people don't barge into others' houses.

@Chocolatebuttonns

Did the ex use bolt cutters then?

@LaurieStrode
No one is surely that naive to think everyone is a good person.

We all know there's this thing called crime is about.

@Chocolatebuttonns
And you compared her leaving her door open to someone breaking into your garage with bolt cutters

@Chocolatebuttonns

I think your last post just outed you lol

@Chocolatebuttonns

Hello OP lol