Child maintenance payments going up

[C96x]

Hi everyone,

I’m abit stumped here- my other half’s CSA payments have gone up since his daughter no longer wants to come to stay with us(age 9) we respect her wishes even though it’s not nice to not be able to see her due to location.
His CSA payments have gone up which quite right but they have gone up so much that we now are making ends meet- I get that she is now full time with her mum but I really do not agree with the amounts CSA agree too especially when we have mortgage to pay for. This will also impact if she ever does want to come over as we won’t have the money like we used to, to go places/ days out etc…

Mum has other children who she gets CSA payments for as well as child benefit, they also receive free school meals too (she’s an open person). as well as living with parents.

there’s probably nothing we can do here but do CSA take in to count mortgage payments when it comes to earnings? my partner has had access/ overnight stays since she was 1 so all of sudden to have this extra increase each month outgoing now it’s a shock to the system. any advice would be appreciated!

Just to add Dad will pay what he is expected too always has and always will

@Bananasandtoast I'm talking about CMS on the whole also. There's no confusion it was you who was moaning about NRP loss of income. Well its tough! NRP has time the RP doesn't to work more etc... you've had quite a few odd opinions on this thread. I don't know why you are defending NRP who begrudge paying the absolute minimum it's quite frankly disgraceful.

@Valtine2
NRP doesn’t necessarily have time to work more, both parents can work full time.

It’s alright saying “work more” when business has dried up and he’s struggling to find employment. It’s alright saying “tough” when there are mouths to feed in the NRP’s house too.

DP does not begrudge paying, i begrudge paying to subsidise the payments though. DSC benefits from my salary already and CMS shouldn’t fall to me, there should be a conversation and temporary, affordable solution put in place.

For those saying 12% is nothing, isn’t that before tax has been deducted (which I think is ridiculous, why work it out based on money the NRP never sees anyway?!)

It’s alright saying “work more” when business has dried up and he’s struggling to find employment. It’s alright saying “tough” when there are mouths to feed in the NRP’s house too.

There seems to be an assumption that separated fathers can magic-up money out of thin air. Whereas if the parents are together, tough financial circumstances are more accepted?

If there's no income them the numbers you quoted are meaningless.
I don't defend NRPs who won't pay at all.
I just think that the mother who goes out of her way to take money from a father who has been paying but who is not currently earning just to pay it into their savings is an arse. If she needed it to feed them or keep the lights on then they would be different. It just seems spiteful and not in the children's best interests at all.
The kids needed that money in their father's home. I don't think money only counts if it is in the hands of the mother.

When 2 parents are together it's easier to juggle childcare between 2 parents. It's not just the money is it? It's things like school runs and school holidays who's expected to cover these in a lot of cases? The mother is.

Maybe RP can't afford the childcare either... it's alright you saying both can work full time some mums do.

When 2 parents are together it's easier to juggle childcare between 2 parents. It's not just the money is it? It's things like school runs and school holidays who's expected to cover these in a lot of cases? The mother is.

But the point is, the parents are NOT together, so lots of logistical things are going to be harder? And the amount of money available pre-split now has to be spread across 2 households. So of course people are stretched thinly with money and other things, but did anyone really expect life to be the same once the couple were apart?

This is the crux of it. Two households are more expensive to run than one. It is just a fact.

Is also a fact that RPs who rely too much on the income of their ex and don't make provision for themselves are more vulnerable than those who maximize their own income so they can be self sufficient if need be.

@PinkEasterbunny I think many parents if they split would assume both parents would still be involved in parenting. But that is not happening.

Haha, let's all skirt around the fact the mum does fuck all, lives with parents, pays no rent, gets benefits.👍😂 Poor mum . Crucify the guy for trying to own a home. But give the mum a council house and pay most of her rent whilst you're there 👍🥳 country is backwards.

50/50 custody of a child should be mandatory upon separation save for abusive/unhealthy relationships. No child maintenance payments from either party. Watch the divorce rate drop. 👍

Watch the divorce rate drop

Watch the number of children who get to regularly see their parents argue and fight increase.

As well as watch the increase in the number of children living in situations where serious abuse is occurring.

As long as their parents are married, eh?

Lets teach our kids marriage means nothing instead . Sounds like a solid plan to not fuck society and worsen a housing crisis.

I made two points .IF divorced. 50/50, what's their to argue about ?.. arguments in otherwise civilised relationships are caused by the unfairness towards men. I mentioned an obvious exception for abusive relationships.

No point looking at it as a one size fits all. Endless different scenarios.

Did I read this right? "unfairness towards men"?

I can never fail to understand, despite all the evidence of their senses, that men think they are treated unfairly post divorce where there are children involved.

IF divorced. 50/50, what's their to argue about?

Loads, actually. What about what the child wants? What about babies? All the psychology on babies is that they need to bond with a primary caregiver during their first 12 months.

arguments in otherwise civilised relationships are caused by the unfairness towards men

You think men are hard done to in divorce? Really? You need a bit of a look at some statistics on women in the work place and the fact that despite legislation to the contrary, the average woman earns less than the average man for doing the same job; or the number of women who experience unfair recruitment procedures for promotions once they are pregnant and have young children; the impact of divorce on credit ratings and long-term ability to obtain credit including mortgages (again, harder on women than men); the number of women compared with the number of men who are literally left holding the baby /toddler/young child/teen with no additional contact or support from the father compared with the number of men this happens to; the ease with which buisness owners (usually men) are able to manipulate their accounts to avoid the payment of child maintenance; the expectation that women manage childcare and child illness and child appointments (even when 50/50) both by the male ex partner and the male ex partner's work place;

I have yet to come across any statistics that show that 10 year post divorce, the average man is in a worse off position than the average woman. There is plenty which demonstrates that the impact on women is far worse.

16 years post divorce, I, frankly, need to die before I draw a pension because I will not be able to manage any length of time without working about 60 hours a week. My ex, on the other hand, has property in 3 countries and has yet to pay a penny to support his children.

😂😂😂

I've worked out roughly our costs for SD and DD- who has a room here but is only with us in school holidays, so brings all her own clothes etc- and when you factor in that for DD we get CB and for SD we pay out CM, it's more or less equal.

I've not included utility bills, because it's impossible to calculate, or family holidays, because that's something you choose based on your budget.

When you consider that as the NRP family we should be paying half of SD's costs and 100% of DD's costs, it's not really adding up to suggest that CMS isn't enough.

Screenshot wasn't properly attached.

That spreadsheet is just laughable
£3000 per year covers his share of food, utilities, uniform, extracurricular activities - £50per week
Are your serious.
You spend £200 on clothes for your SD so on that basis her mum spends £400 per annum -WTF
Travel you include for SD but not for your own

Food -£200 for the year but she is only with you for holidays!!!

If you seriously think Mum is not out of pocket on £50 er week when she ahs the child 80% of the time-she does all the school runs, trips, activities, feeds, clothes etc etc

The spreadsheet shows on the left what SD costs us and on the right what DD costs us. I don't know where you've got the figures about what her Mum spends, I don't know what her Mum spends, I haven't got access to her Mum's account. I just know that we spend more on SD pa than we do on DD and yet supposedly we're only supposed to be covering 50% of her costs.

£50pw covers way more than my daughter's share of food and utilities + ALL uniform and extra curriculars so I can't see why it wouldn't cover SD's.

SD has no travel costs at her Mum's as it happens because her Mum works at her school and she doesn't really go out that much, and we cover her transport to visit us. DD's transport costs are negligible, she goes to school about a mile away and we go on day trips as a family.

The holidays are 13 weeks of the year, that's 1/4 of the time, we have her for a little over half that time so about 1/8 of the time, so yes, we pay around £200 out in food.

And as for our utility bills, it's £120pm. I don't notice any difference at all in our energy usage when SD is here and when she's not. If you want to pretend like my DD is using 1/3 of the energy, that's £480pa, still brings her "total" to less than SD's.

So 1 week at Xmas, 1 at Easter and 2 in the summer.
4 weeks out of 52

You spend £25 per week on food for your DD and out of the £50 per week Mum gets from your DP-£25 on your calculation goes on SDs food
£21 is DPS share from maintenance on the equivalent school uniform, extra curricular activities.
£4 to clothe, shoe, transport her to her activites etc etc.

Sorry you are not comparing like with like.

No? I said we have more than half of holidays. 1 week at Xmas, 1.5 weeks at Easter, 3.5 weeks in the Summer, 2 half terms, so 8 weeks a year.

So we have my daughter 52 weeks a year, around £25pw on food, yes.
We have my SD 8 weeks a year, £25pw = £200 for the year.
That leaves £1100 per year on SD's food whilst she's at her Mums, leaving £1900 for clothes, trips etc, so if her Mum matches our contribution and also contributes the child benefit, that's £5000 pa. That's £96pw which imo is a heck of a lot of money to be spending on clothes and extra curriculars, and certainly A LOT more than we spend on DD, way more than double!

I don't know where you've got the £21 and £4 figures from?

plus benefits on top which resident parents are often getting. Even if non resident parent is paying £400 a month, benefits are still paid.

You really do resent spending anything on your SD - for a family that has her for the equivalent for less than one day per week per annum.

Either way Mum has 85% of child care, feeding etc to do - not exactly rolling in it.

You do not come across well

Nope, I don't resent it at all. I'm actually the main earner anyway so the amount DH sends to her Mum isn't breaking the bank. I enjoy having her here and we spoil her when she's around, I haven't included those costs because it's our choice to have lots of fun days out, holidays and treats when she's around. She'll be here on Wednesday and we have the next few weeks jam packed with the zoo, safari parks, theme parks, the theatre and meals out.

I'm simply stating for the number of posters trying to say that CMS doesn't cover a child's living costs- it's not meant to. It's meant to cover HALF of the DIFFERENCE in cost between the RP and the NRP, whereas, when counting benefits, at least in our case, cover way more than half of the costs of raising our own child.