Child maintenance payments going up

[C96x]

Hi everyone,

I’m abit stumped here- my other half’s CSA payments have gone up since his daughter no longer wants to come to stay with us(age 9) we respect her wishes even though it’s not nice to not be able to see her due to location.
His CSA payments have gone up which quite right but they have gone up so much that we now are making ends meet- I get that she is now full time with her mum but I really do not agree with the amounts CSA agree too especially when we have mortgage to pay for. This will also impact if she ever does want to come over as we won’t have the money like we used to, to go places/ days out etc…

Mum has other children who she gets CSA payments for as well as child benefit, they also receive free school meals too (she’s an open person). as well as living with parents.

there’s probably nothing we can do here but do CSA take in to count mortgage payments when it comes to earnings? my partner has had access/ overnight stays since she was 1 so all of sudden to have this extra increase each month outgoing now it’s a shock to the system. any advice would be appreciated!

Just to add Dad will pay what he is expected too always has and always will

I wouldn’t mind if the ex needed the money to get by but she openly admits it’s in the savings account for when the children are older.
It just doesn’t seem fair

What a bizarre way to look at it

2 people have children, both people need to pay for the children

If one person has enough money to additionally save for the children thats awesome, it doesn't somehow mean that they should subsidise the other person

Your way of looking at it is actually the way thats unfair

£400 a month is not a lot to bring up a child. The fact this is a massive increase in spending for you strongly suggests you were not paying 50% of the cost of bringing her up as you were supposed to when she was staying with you.
It sounds like you know why she refuses to see her father any more.

Another way of looking at is is that the mother is openly depriving her children of money that they need in the here and now in their father's home.
If her children actually spend any amount of time in their father's home then the mother should have given a bit of grace until he's steadied the ship. All she's done is create bad feelings and cause her children problems.
If she's got them all the time then fair enough, why should should she care if there is food and hot water at the fathers house. Not her problem.

The child no longer sees the father at all, not even for an hour a week.
It is up to parents how they spend their money.
The father obviously was not spending much on his child if £400 a month CSA is a massive extra dent in their budget. Most parents at this income level are paying for school uniform, clothes, wrap around childcare, after school and weekend activities, as well as clothes, shoes and food.

He owes £400 per month. That’s not bad value for food, accommodation, transport, clothing, parenting, clubs etc.

If you can’t afford it you need to consider how to ensure you can. So maybe you make your mortgage interest only whilst you are paying childcare fees etc?

I understand him not wanting to distress her with forced visits to you but he needs to maintain the relationship with regular visits and FaceTime etc. otherwise it will suffer long term.

Expecting a father to pay the bare minimum of CMS to support his children is not openly depriving them nor should it create bad feelings unless you are an especially shitty father

I guess I just think kids need to eat wherever they are and money in a savings account is no good if one parent is currently out of work.
I suspended payments into my own kids savings accounts when I was on maternity leave because we needed the money to provide for them now. All up and running again now, no issues.
I know I'd not be taking money under these circumstances if my children would be suffering because of it.
That's assuming he's generally a good dad, hasn't been a dick about money in the past, has a decent amount of contact etc.

Sorry to hear you are struggling atm op, the cost of living, mortgage increases etc have resulted in a lot of people feeling the pinch. With calculated child maintenance though, it needs to be viewed as an essential outgoing (in the same way as the mortgage, childcare for your shared dc and council tax are). Have you looked at other ways to reduce your outgoings?

Also, as dcs mum, I’d be more concerned about her not wanting to spend any time with her dad than I would be the maintenance money.

@Bananasandtoast The father legally owes this CSM. Anything else is irrelevant.

@Bananasandtoast the mothers savings for whatever is irrelevant. I love on these threads that the SM always seem to drop how the mother has this X Y and Z. Mean while IRL I never come across it. The dad must be a decent salary JOINTLY with OP..... the mother is a single person. Who does all the school runs/pick ups? Some people have utter cheek.

OP ops other half was to leave her a single mother would she hold this opinion still? I suspect not!

What's relevant to me is my children always having what they need.
It's a shame for the PPs DSC if their mother doesn't feel the same.

@Bananasandtoast are you having a laugh??
The mother is taking sole care of the child. All the Ops DH is being asked to do is pay the legal minimum CSA. And the OP wants to get out of that.
It is a shame that the relationship between the father and child was so poor that the child now refuses to see him.

As been raised already. CMS is 12% percent of dad's salary this is the minium amount. Dad is hardly living a life of poverty.

Sorry, this has ended up a side discussion.
I'm referring to the PP whose husband's self employed business is no longer doing well, some months earns nothing, he's looking for steady work now and meanwhile his ex has opened a CMS case, which is obviously looking at what he was earning last year when business was good and taking a % of that.
In this particular circumstance, I'm saying I'd not be taking money from my childrens father for their savings accounts. I'd rather he had it to provide for them when he has them and start proper maintainance again when he's earning again.

No comment on your personal set up but CMS is calculated on a pre-tax figure, not net. It’s around 14% for one child, IIRC.
CMS affordability can actually be set at up to 50% of gross salary, if there are arrears too. As in, a person on £50k could be asked to pay up to £2,000pm if the arrears are large. Leaving just £1,200 to live on, after tax.

I am not saying this is the case for you, I am simply explaining that the CMS would not deem your husband’s £400pcm payment to his ex to be anywhere near the “unaffordable” mark.

@Bananasandtoast
I feel that is how CMS should look at it though…I just don’t know where they expect the money to come from. If DSC parents were still together then DP wouldn’t be expected to magic money out of thin air.

It’s too much a of blanket rule, I feel like they treat all NRP as though they’re trying to do their kids out of money rather than thinking there might be some genuine cases.

@Nevilleshortbum it's impossible for CMS to tailor the service for everyone. We really need people to not be dicks to each other/their children.

@Bananasandtoast
Some people aren’t and their circumstances genuinely change

CMS expect the money to come from the NRP salary because the RP has a household to run. The issue is that people go on to have further kids and by your example that would mean the ex/RP shouldering the loss because now... dad has gone on to have more kids. It's sounds like madness to me.

The issue with PP isn't more kids, it's the loss of most of the NRPs income - which is currently affecting children in his own household as the gap for the RP is being plugged by his wife.
But as long as the oldest kids still have money going into their savings, that's the main thing. 🙄
Like I said, people just need to stop being dicks.

If DSC parents were still together then DP wouldn’t be expected to magic money out of thin air.

So true

@Bananasandtoast a father earning 49k will have to pay £450 per month for their DC based on 2 overnight stays per month. Leaving them with £2,700 PLUS the wife will have an income to go half on bills and rent/mortgage. CMS is 12% of someone's salary 😂

Thing is is the nrp and parent where together they would make plans together for their house and their children. Shoulder a burden of a job loss together because they love each other though a hard time till the sunshines again. They wouldn’t suddenly drop hours because fuck it why not or decide to mess around contact time because they are one family or that eow was good enough of even a week a month. They would be there all the time as part of the house.

Separate and that shouldn’t mean the nrp gets to avoid the burden of making sure their children are housed and clothed and fed leaving it all to the Rp.

Its not the Rp responsibility to worry about the burden on the nrps personal outgoings. Its of no concern to the Rp how big a house the nrp can afford to rent or buy or how many more children he does or does not decide to father or just support or how many if any holidays he gets. Because the Rp’s responsibility is to the children not their Ex partner.

The government decided that X% is what should be given. Is it fair no, because it’s not fair that one child could be worth £40 a month and another £4,000 but that’s the laws and if people mostly men didn’t try and get out of paying support or always feel robbed by it, the government wouldn’t have to be stepping in at all.

Maybe a blanket each child is entitled to X amount (making allowances for those who earn mega mega to not leave a child in near poverty while the nrp lives like a millionaire) and the nrp becomes indebted to the state forever untill cleared off, assets seized etc to cover their debt of the government paying for their child.

Again, I'm not talking about the OP and her situation so no need to quite random numbers at me.
Sorry to derail, clearly causing confusion.