Child maintenance payments going up

[C96x]

Hi everyone,

I’m abit stumped here- my other half’s CSA payments have gone up since his daughter no longer wants to come to stay with us(age 9) we respect her wishes even though it’s not nice to not be able to see her due to location.
His CSA payments have gone up which quite right but they have gone up so much that we now are making ends meet- I get that she is now full time with her mum but I really do not agree with the amounts CSA agree too especially when we have mortgage to pay for. This will also impact if she ever does want to come over as we won’t have the money like we used to, to go places/ days out etc…

Mum has other children who she gets CSA payments for as well as child benefit, they also receive free school meals too (she’s an open person). as well as living with parents.

there’s probably nothing we can do here but do CSA take in to count mortgage payments when it comes to earnings? my partner has had access/ overnight stays since she was 1 so all of sudden to have this extra increase each month outgoing now it’s a shock to the system. any advice would be appreciated!

Just to add Dad will pay what he is expected too always has and always will

It’s really not. On his salary he’d be expected to contribute more than that to a university student who is technically an adult and will also need to be supported at home during the holidays. 65k isn’t a low salary. The child of someone earning that amount should not be on the brink of poverty. Why do people want their kids to be hard up when they’re earning well? I guess it’s because their priorities change. If you’re not providing a room for that child I’m not sure that your mortgage cost is at all relevant

Especially in most divorce cases the RP gets the lion share of everything. Usually the house

complete and utter bollox

@Baconisdelicious it's not bollocks.

I said in most cases not all. I didn't say it was right or wrong.

It's an observation based on my own experience, my friend's experience and others I know of.

I really don’t understand why non resident dads are so stingy about paying for their own offspring. Financial security is really important for a kid and not having this is one of the most relevant factors for childhood negative outcomes, in research it is the top factor.

I cannot as a woman entering into a relationship with a man with children that you would be trying to give that poor kid less financial security. Shame on you OP I’m afraid. And I speak also as a step mum.

Based on my experience and that of many women I know, loss of the family home, hidden assets, lying on Form E, non payment of maintenance.....

There’s plenty of non resident fathers who pay generously, for all the right reasons - and yet their ex wives still view them as a meal ticket for life

Plenty is stretching it, @PinkEasterbunny !

I’m sure there are some Dads.

But no resident mum is just looking for ‘a meal ticket for life’ that’s misogyny speaking! Much easier ways to get a meal ticket than bringing up kids single handedly!

I dont agree it’s all women or even the majority. But there certainly are women who view CMS as some sort of compensation/reward for having had children as opposed to a sum to support the child.

That’s very emotive speaking. There’s a difference between being stingy and realistic. Men aren’t mythical beings who can just print money on a whim. They have to budget too. Plus you have no control over how that money is spent. Whereas in your own home you might better budget and prioritise.

No where there’s kids involved it isn’t bollox.

Must have imagined losing the house when I divorcedbthe, eh?

£400 pcm to the RP is not akin to the “brink of poverty” as was illustrated upthread someone earning minimum wage would be taking home around £1,500. £400 is still a good chunk of income to the RP.

Are you telling me you are the main career for the kids and you got a straight 50:50 spilt? You might not keep the house but the RP will typically keep a larger proportion of the equity.

To the posters saying CMS doesn't work, and NRPs shouldn't have to pay as much as they currently do: how much do you think they should have to pay?

I’m confident you can’t be speaking about me as I didn’t say NRP should pay less.

Although I think my comment upthread is relevant -

“Ideally both parties finances should be looked at as a whole and the needs of all children and parents considered. There’s too many variables and nuances that CMS doesn’t consider.”

It will never happen because it would be too costly, but I think finances for child maintenance should look like financial orders for divorce.

I agree @KatesCoke it should be looked at within the divorced settlement for those which are married.

A salary of 65k is in the top 5-10% of earners in the UK and is around double the average salary

The average cost of raising a child at the moment is about £1000 per month

And yet someone in the top 5-10% of earners is still paying less than half of that

RPs really are screwed over aren't they

The average cost of raising a child at the moment is about £1000 per month

How is that calculated? If you assume each parent will finance their own house plus bills, are you calculating that it will cost £1000 per month for food for the child plus clothes and activities etc, and does this amount include any childcare?

As soon as you’re talking about separated parents, you need to consider two houses and that skews/inflates the figures and I don’t know how you separate that out? Two houses are always going to cost more than one!

One of the biggest issues with maintenance imo is the childcare issue.

That a NRP can choose to be EOW (or like my ex barely bother at all) and leave the issue of childcare solely up to the RP is one of the contentious issues that came up all the time when I briefly worked for CMS.

A lot of NRP’s take the view that your childcare = your problem which only works if ‘your time’ is a fair split.

You'll have to downsize. Dad needs to make clear it's because he can't afford to keep the spare bedroom any more. She can sleep on a sofa bed if she changes her mind.

Mum's other kids are irrelevant.

scorned - what a nasty typical step mother comment to make. You know nothing of my circumstances and will freely admit that I am better off with my current partner. Who pays for his DCs in a mature way and he and his EX wife have an amicable agreement which is appropriate.

I object to my EX paying less for his eldest 2 DCS than he does for his 3rd DC with his other EX. She does pay per view and he pays double what he pays me for 1. Second EX argument is and was when they were together - that I earned enough and he did not need to contirbute because they needed more of his monies for her 2 DCs and their joint.
I paid for hers and his new lifestyle and family by him not paying appropriately for his DCs - that is not right.

So the comments that both parents income should be taken into account - would in my case ensure that the second family were supported by me, because he needed to keep more of his income to provide for his new DP and her DCS and their joint DC - utter bollocks. My income is then infact supporting 3 famileis - mine, Ex and new DC, and his new DPs children.

What part of that is morally right.

@C96x even though you have nursery fees to cover you have 2 incomes though and 1 income alone is 40k. I think things like this should be taken into consideration before having a baby with someone who already has kids. It's not just the money... it's things like childcare or lack of, covering sick days and school holidays. So her father doesn't live near to his own child?. It's also unfair to delve into the mothers finances but you haven't listed your own salary OP.

Similar situation here, OP
DP and ex had an agreement between them for any payments. DH’s business (self employed) started going downhill so he asked for a reduction in payments while things picked up. Ex said no and went to CMS and they’ve given him an amount to pay.
DP can barely afford it so I’m often having to put in the difference as some months his income has been nothing. We are dipping into savings (that I have significantly contributed towards) to afford the CMS payments while also trying to support our own household and younger children. DP is desperately searching for a job but with little luck.
I wouldn’t mind if the ex needed the money to get by but she openly admits it’s in the savings account for when the children are older.
It just doesn’t seem fair.

@Nevilleshortbum lots of things are unfair. Maybe your DH ex thought it was unfair he went on to having more DC also. If your DHs business isn't going well perhaps it's time to look for a ordinary job then he will have a steady income.

@Valtine2
He could afford to have more children…that’s like saying that maybe he shouldn’t have had any children to start with in case his income fell - if everyone thought like that then there would be few people on the planet!

I have towards the end of the post that he is looking for a job.