The straw that broke the camel’s back..

[JH20000]

Name changed.

I have had no end of problems with DP’s ex wife. She’s awful sorry to say and I’ve had abuse consistently from her.

My 3 step kids are challenging to say the least, multiple problems with them taking drugs, truanting from school, consistently being in trouble with the police, being disrespectful to everyone, stealing etc. I’m struggling massively to the point I’m now on multiple anxiety/depression medications. DP is very blasé about it all, and I’ve had little support from him. For what it’s worth I’m child free myself so struggling because I’ve never been in a parent role before.

His ex wife turned up on the doorstep this evening screaming and shouting because I told the eldest child off for coming back to ours late last week. He was supposed to be in for 9 and came in at 10.30 for context. She was leaning in for a fight, screaming abuse at me and stating I’m the reason the kids are badly behaved and that she’s reporting me to social services. 🙄

DP stood there throughout shrugging his shoulders stating that I shouldn’t have told the child off and that he agreed with his ex wife. I told her I was going to call the police as she was becoming threatening and she laughed in my face before storming off.

This is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I guess I just needed a handhold. I’m not sure why I’m putting up with this crap.

@JH20000 I doubt if your ex would know what love is if it bit him on the hind end. If he had ever had a clue, he would have cherished you to the moon and back again. I am sure it hurt, but remember, that it is HIS loss, not yours.

You climbed a mountain of obstacles and are now on the summit looking out at the beauty before you. I hope you are as proud of yourself as so many of us are proud of you. You deserve only the best and getting counselling to learn your boundaries and worth will serve you well now and in the future.

May your coming weekend be wonderful and fun for you both. I think about you so often, hoping you are doing well and shining your star. I wish you the best life ever and am SO happy for your update. Looking forward to the next one!

un-Mumsnetty {{HUGS}}

@JH20000 I think you will soon need a part two thread!

@JH20000
I would just like to add a well done. You've come such a long way in the last few months and you seem lighter, more confident and more robust. You will absolutely survive that fuckwit and thrive.
Yes, please do keep this thread and look back on it when you feel weak or down because despite everything you are strong and fierce and deserving of being treated decently. Keep up with the therapy and go back for more if you need to examine or reinforce your boundaries.
I wish you all the best x

What makes me laugh is the fact he’s told people all I was was a responsibility to him and he doesn’t want responsibility, yet he’s got 3 kids…

Thank you to you all for your lovely comments. Honestly I have been so thankful for your advice and help when I was at my lowest.

I am currently on a train with lovely new man on the way to London for the weekend - we are going to see a show that my ex and I were going to see but he mucked me around so so much pretending to have bought tickets and then coming up with multiple excuses etc that we never actually went.

I mentioned wanting to see this show with new man and within an hour he had bought tickets as he wanted to see it too 😂

Taking it very slowly but I am enjoying the blossoming new potential relationship!

😍

I hope you and new man have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the show!

I am very happy for you.

🎉🎉🎉
Its a lovely update @JH20000
Onwards and upwards and leaving the ex in the depth of his own mess.

Hope you are having a great weekend away!!

It gave me such joy reading your updates @JH20000 honestly you are an inspiration in strength. I feel so proud of you and wish you nothing but the best. I hope you and new love interest have an amazing trip together. We are on page 40 of your thread so it will run out very soon. Please do start a new thread before it does xx

I’ve created a second thread for when this fills up, it’s on the same sub forum as this one (step parenting)

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/stepparenting/5093909-the-straw-that-broke-the-camels-back-part-two-the-thread-with-the-happy-ending-hopefully?reply=135935349