AIBU to charge £50?

[veryfluffyfluff]

My DH and his ex have screwed up their plans and managed to have made commitments the same weekend. This weekend was DH's to have their kids and then switched to being ex's. I've been asked if I wouldn't mind being in and getting them dinner and they can come here for one night. I said I'd check my diary. AIBU to say sure that will be £50 please?

I don’t think you are doing anything wrong OP. I am a step mum, was with their Dad from around the ages 10/12. I never did any childcare, went to assemblies or liaised with DSC’s mum. They had a mum and dad already to do that stuff. I am Dad’s wife.

The DSC are now in their 30s and we have a lovely relationship. They come to me for things / question/ support that I am good at. They know I am another trusted person in their lives who is there for them.

You don’t have to act like a 3rd parent to be a good SM.

They are both social events but I can understand why they are struggling to decide. Not "normal nights out". I can completely understand why it's not easy to decide which one misses out but come on - it's their kids!

Exactly! If they were still together, they’d have had to have a robust plan. Takeaway sounds like a reasonable accommodation. Make it clear that you aren’t a regular solution to their lack of planning though.

Weird how people equate women a marries man with kids = she becomes free childcare when both parents don't want the kids and want to go party

And if she doesn't do this with a massive smile on her face she hates her step children. Odd.

I thought slavery had been abolished. Maybe a missed something in my marriage vows...

I reckon that OP is likely to have made that very clear…..

Slavery 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If you don’t want to look after the children then actually it seems like the sensible option, although depending on the kids’ ages they might find it very weird.

And good on her if she has.

Ah see @veryfluffyfluff I would have said no if their mum has been difficult about you spending time with them. I would have told her and you DH that too. Behaviours have consequences unfortunately. Typical shit stepmums have to tolerate though. Nah, no one dictates my time thank you very much

For fuck's sake grow up. You sound unhappy and caught up in petty moans about the children you knew were there when you got together. Just fucking say no. Stop with the martyr routine, it's shit for his kids but at least they'll know they are not seen as part of the family, their Dad's partner is wanting to charge for her time, spiteful bollocks.

Hold on.

Mum and dad knew what they were signing up for when they had kids. So why is ok for them to dump the kids last min on op ?

Why is the bar higher for her than it is the actual parents ?

If mum and dad were together - they would have to pay for a babysitter or at least spring a take away for whoever they have conned into having the kids.

So yes, you know most people who are treated badly by mum, don't really appreciate the sudden turn around becayse wants dump her kids last min on her because she's changed her mind again.

Marrying someone doesn't mean that you sign up to be last min childcare because the parents can't get it together.

But yes poor kids, their parents (who chose to have them) don't want them and are arguing over who will have them. And op the bad guy 🙄 get a grip

And I'm a mum ffs !!!

Don’t bother..these self righteous fools will come out with ridiculous claims..they are fos..we are good as SM’s 😊

Sorry wrong quote!

How is that so much worse than their actual parents arguing about who doesn’t have to have them 🤡

I had to read that twice to work out who was being charged £50. No matter how infuriating it gets, I don't think charging is a great idea, would you expect to pay if the situation were reversed?

OP can say no. I wouldn't do it. OP is displaying a lot of spite and sounds unhappy. The end.

Op doesn't sound spiteful and has agreed to have them this once, which is good of her as they aren't her dc and the mum seems to have an issue with her spending time with them (unless it benefits her!) Also they have 2 parents that should be looking after them

The end

"OP can say no. I wouldn't do it. OP is displaying a lot of spite and sounds unhappy. The end."

Interesting out of all that your focus is still on op. Not on the parents and their parental responsibility. Are you reading from a fairytale? That's cute.

Tbf if people use others for childcare when it's convenient to for them and then your dick to them rest of the time, then I think actually it's called karma personally.

I’m really baffled at all these hysterical responses when normally any post about a non RP dad expecting his new wife to provide childcare brand him a shit useless dad who can’t be bothered to look after his own children.

I wouldn’t be happy about doing this either and I’d be especially pissed off if DHs ex suggested it as she’s spent the last 10 years referring to me as Daddy’s new girlfriend and telling the DCs when they got back from holiday with us that she’d missed them and been so lonely she’d cried the whole time they were gone.

I wouldn't ask for just £50 but I have in the past asked DH to send me money to take DSC out for tea or to get a takeaway in the past because I couldn't be arsed cooking for everyone the odd time he asked me to watch them when he had to work late or whatever. Don't see anything wrong with that.

When this kind of situation arises, my SC go to their grandparents house. Which is where I am sure they would much rather be anyway!

Haven’t RTFT but this has to be one of the tackiest things I’ve ever read on here…

OP maybe there are some earrings you’ve been eyeing up, maybe try and push him into that whilst you at it.

Just to point out OP levering contact/childcare (yes it’s an tiny amount of money but that’s besides the point) only happens in a high conflict arrangement and is very much frowned upon by courts so you’re on a line here with your thinking.

In the shoes of the parents of these poor children, I’d get a babysitter, whether
you’d be in the house or not would be irrelevant.

Like another PP said, be careful he does’t realise how much you dislike his DC, he may have sooner than he thought. Their mother but also sense your dislike hence her attitude towards you, as well at the pettiness of course.

I always wonder why these women enter into marriages with men with children baffles me when they have this mindset, truly bizarre.

But mostly, my good god, the lives of others…eye opening

Well done on your boundaries OP.

So often there are threads where partners are used endlessly as skivvy aupairs to children that are NOT theirs, by both parents.

There is indeed a slippery slope and often both parents are very quick to use it.

💯

She married a man with children, she didn’t sign up to be a better parent than the actual parents.

Don’t be so ridiculous.