AIBU to charge £50?

[veryfluffyfluff]

My DH and his ex have screwed up their plans and managed to have made commitments the same weekend. This weekend was DH's to have their kids and then switched to being ex's. I've been asked if I wouldn't mind being in and getting them dinner and they can come here for one night. I said I'd check my diary. AIBU to say sure that will be £50 please?

If you want to ensure that you don’t get taken for granted then Make them both sweat on it for a while to do that. If dh ask have you checked yet, say something like “ oh, did you really need me to do that still? I’d have thought you would’ve sorted it out “ when he responds he hasn’t say “right we’ll I’m busy but I’ll see what I can do, but you’ll need to make it up to me by doing me a BIG favour in return ha ha etc” also add” if it happens again it’s ex’s turn to bail you both out with a back up plan , I’m not covering every time you both mess up- ex must take her share of finding backups
don’t charge £50 - you are worth far more than that and are advertising your continued services for a cheap rate whenever they screw up

but yep, also say he has to pay for takeaway, eating out or ready meal for kids - that’s fair enough not to cook for them

Got to be careful it isn't too much fun 😆 😅 thanks everyone who's suggested this idea. This is why I love mumsnet.

I can't really get that message back to ex I don't want to inflame things really

Well yeah. But this is their house too. That's why I wasn't really sure what to do!

If you don’t want to inflame things, if drop
the £50 bill 🙄

So you’re bragging about wanting to charge your dh £50 to look after the children. That’s a petty sad line to draw. Must really love him.

Wow.

I wouldn’t have done it full stop, their problem & you’re not the solution. If it’s ex’s weekend then it’s her problem. Don’t start doing these favours as they will fast become expected

But you said it was her weekend, so they would be there, no?

Alternatively when you do check your diary you may in fact find you have a night out you had forgotten about....

Yes. Ring the ex wife up and tell her that if she wants you to have the kids she'll have to pay you £50.🙄

I think your DH buying a takeaway for you all is the best option.

Personally I don't think it's on to charge £50.

Who knows. They should be. But I wouldn't put it past her to drive all the way here and dump them on the doorstep

That's what I'm worried about but I think if DH has to pay for a nice takeaway for us all he won't make a habit of it!

I'm not an idiot. DH would have to pay me.

I'm not bragging. It's a stepmum issue. Are you a stepmum?

This ⬆️

It’s not a favour though if you want paying. I wouldn’t charge to have step kids, or grand kids or even my neighbours kids for a couple of hours tbh!

I predict it won't be long before he has another ex

Trust me it’s a slippery slope, if you do agree to do it then definitely get him to provide a takeaway & make sure they understand it’s a one off & they need to organise childcare that doesn’t include you if it happens again

Yep, this. I’ve long stopped helping out like this, it becomes an expectation overnight

@yogasaurus indeed! I agreed to help out one evening every other week initially. Before long my name had been plastered all over the calendar as doing pick ups, drop offs, evenings all over the place and I hadn’t even been asked.

Rightio

What are their ‘commitments’ out of interest? Have they both been asked to cover a shift in A+E or are they both (separately) going out on the lash?

I wouldn’t be doing the ex a favour so she could go out drinking if she couldn’t even be bothered to be civil to me.