AIBU to charge £50?

[veryfluffyfluff]

My DH and his ex have screwed up their plans and managed to have made commitments the same weekend. This weekend was DH's to have their kids and then switched to being ex's. I've been asked if I wouldn't mind being in and getting them dinner and they can come here for one night. I said I'd check my diary. AIBU to say sure that will be £50 please?

Seems like a few of you get where I'm coming from. Thanks for the understanding. I don't want it to become a thing. They've managed nearly 7 years without me getting involved other than 1 whole hour when I watched them so dad could go to the doctors in an emergancy

How tight can you be? They are your step children. Surely upon marrying their father you realised that you had to take some responsibility?

They are both social events but I can understand why they are struggling to decide. Not "normal nights out". I can completely understand why it's not easy to decide which one misses out but come on - it's their kids!

It's not even about the money. I don't think you get it.

Nope, not her children not her responsibility..at all

Would you be charging DH or his ex?

Say no if you don’t want to.

If you do decide to then the least they can do is make it easy on you and pay for a takeaway, snacks, activities etc.

DH - I do not communicate with ex. if he wants to take it up with is ex he can- up to him

I've said ok but only if he pays for takeaway and pop. Thanks all.

You made the decision to marry a guy who had children. What if something happens to their mum? Will you want them In care so as not to inconvenience you or will you accept that when you married your husband you married him as a package.

I’m confused if it’s his ex’s weekend then surely her responsibility to sort out a babysitter if she’s going out? If it’s his weekend then they’ll be there anyway so I don’t see an issue with him going out, my dp goes out when dsc are here and I don’t class it as babysitting they are family.

Ah yes. Acting like a doormat and letting people (the parents) walk all over her would be better, wouldn’t it?

If its not about the money, and this isn't s regular occurance then no way would I be charging. When you married your dh you were presumably aware that would mean step parenting his dc. Your home is also their home so why you'd charge for them to be in it is beyond me. Just say yes that's fine, get your takeaway or take them out to the cinema or whatever on your joint account and just tell your dh that he's to be clear this is a favour and you are not happy to bail him and ex out like this and do not want it becoming a regular thing and if it does then you'll start charging. But I wouldn't set out on that foot. If the ex has been difficult in the past and you've now got an opportunity to spend some time bonding with your sc would you not want to do that? If it got back to me that you'd 'charged' for spending time with my kids in their home then I'd really struggle to make time for you as well. I don't think this is the hill to die on, if it becomes a regular thing THEN climb the hill.

What’s the history with the days out? Did your DH say you could take them out and his ex vetoed it?

If you’re happy to do this as a one off then go for it, tell him to sort takeaway etc, but don’t tolerate any bs about days out in future. You’re either part of the family who’s good enough to care for them or you’re not. They can’t have it both ways.

Try to ignore the frothers and guilt trippers on here. The emotional blackmail is all about them and not you.

It’s this sort of absolute hyperbolic tripe you can skip past.

So they are your step children, but you do not help your DH one bit with childcare. Ever? This seems unbelievable.

What has that got to do with it? Their mum is alive.

"They've managed nearly 7 years without me getting involved other than 1 whole hour when I watched them so dad could go to the doctors in an emergancy"

I feel sad for these children.

He doesn't need "childcare" from me as he's a parent. He parents.

Like I said I once sat with them for an hour while he went to the doctors. I don't get why you think it's unbelievable?

Involved as in being in sole care of them. I do stuff like cook for the whole family. Join in on days out. Help with homework.

Why? I never provided any regular or scheduled childcare for my sc when they were younger; I made it clear that I would not be providing that. Obviously I was there when they visited but my DH had to be there too. I may have watched them for half hour or so on the odd occasion (it was a long while ago so cannot recall specifically). Similarly I never expected my DC SM to provide any childcare, it was my exH job. OP shouldn’t be expected to do the job of their parents

Ah right thanks. It did seem a bit OTT.

What an awful post.

May I ask if you are a stepparent?

OP there are some really ridiculous comments on this thread. YANBU to charge the parents £50 for giving up your free time to help them out.

The cost of feeding the kids, entertaining them, and god fucking forbid whatever money is left put it away for maybe a treat for YOU as a thank you!!! Because they should be thanking you profusely.

If it's her weekend then she can just get a babysitter.
If it's his weekend then he can ask you nicely or find another solution
If it's her asking then she knows it's her weekend. Just say you have plans.

Both of them. Not just him.