Honeymoon & DSD

[MinionsHooray]

Myself and my partner will be getting married next year finally.

We have two children together.

DSD will be attending the wedding as will our kids.

However, I would like to go on our honeymoon with no children if possible but we may have to take our two joint children if my mother can’t have them.

My partner has mentioned bringing dsd if we have to take our kids but I really don’t want too. I’d like to take the least amount of kids possible really.

Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?

You are a massive wind up, this cannot be real. Surely nobody is this shamelessly self centred?

Your step daughter might be in charge of your dp’s nursing home, so, at a bare minimum, he should be making sure she isn’t treated like an after thought by his soon-to-be-wife, when it comes to his honeymoon.

1. your honeymoon doesn't have to be right after your wedding. These days, knowing how exhausting and weddings are, in my circles they'r blow-out holidays a year or so later
2. it's insane to take children out of school to go on a holiday that you don't want them to go on
3. if you're taking 2 children on holiday that you don't want to be there, a 3rd isn't going to make any difference
4. if you take 2 children, or 1 child, that instantly makes this holiday not a honeymoon
5. you're being insanely ridiculous excluding one child out of three, especially when they're all of an age to know they're being excluded
6. your DH is being insanely ridiculous agreeing to take 2/3 of his children on holiday and deliberately not the 3rd
7. presumably this is going to be an exceptional trip and not an AI resort in Benidorm, so all the more reason to not exclude one child

There's literally nothing acceptable about your proposal, and quite a few ways out. Think again.

People lose their minds over weddings, it's crazy.

It’s in the planning stage. I’m researching hotels and places to see while there.

Do you care about your stepdaughter's feelings at all?

I call BS

His nursing home will also be down to our daughter. We are many many years away hopefully but she will have sole POA over both of us for everything when the time comes.

Yes terrible me, leaving my son out too there.

Oh they can be. A version of this happened to my cousins. They were excluded from the holiday of a lifetime when their dad remarried and took his children with his second wife on his honeymoon but left his older kids with their mum.

Yeah, total wind up. Or OP is so insecure, she doesn't want to be sitting next to her much younger DSD on a beach. Either way, I'm out. But thanks, its been entertaining

For reasons I won’t go into as it’s not relevant that’s not possible.

Agreed!

Actually my daughter will be in charge of my nursing home, not my step daughter.

Why not your son?

In 40 year's time your daughter might live on the other side of the world.

Does the location of the honeymoon change things?

If I said I wanted a week in Skegness would that make it better or is it just because it’s abroad?

There are reasons but they are not relevant to the thread.

How have you already decided that your 12yo DD will have sole POA for both of you? That's even weirder than the whole thing of you being jealous of your DSD

She will if she has any sense.

And now the drip feeding starts.. textbook.

So you can quite easily arrange it for a time when you can get childcare or for a time when DSD was not in school?

Are you avoiding saying DSD has additional needs or a life limiting disability? If so, it's incredibly relevant

You have your daughters future decided for her, wow, how controlling of you

What are your stepdaughters thoughts? At 15 it’s cruel to leave her out of a family holiday if she wants to go regardless of whether or not you intended to take any children. If she’s not fussed then great. Leave her.

We took 3 month old DD on our honeymoon (thanks covid) and left DS and DSD with relatives. She was breastfed so I couldn’t leave her. She was still little enough that she could come out to dinner with us in her pram and we could have some adult conversation. We still checked that DSD was ok with that though.

To be fair it sounds like you've made up your mind anyway and don't want to hear any other opinions than those that agree with you.

Personally I'd have to take them all just because I would feel awful leaving anyone out. She will be 16 next year so probably do her own thing anyway, but how nice for her that she will be part of a pretty memorable family holiday!

Either way, enjoy your wedding & honeymoon do what makes you happy but just consider everyone's feelings while doing so x

If I had children from a previous marriage and then more in my current marriage, I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to leave my first children whilst I take my current ones away. I think it’s really cruel you are asking your husband to do this. If you got married again and had more children (hypothetically), would you be able to leave your current ones whilst you went away with your new family?

oh and do ignore the posters who think you shouldn’t have a white wedding because you’ve already had kids. If anyone is making poor life choices it’s the women anonymously mocking other women for doing something that makes them happy.

Leaving all 3 at home, perfectly acceptable and that would be a honeymoon- taking any kids in my opinion just makes it a family holiday, it's not really a honeymoon anymore is it so all you're doing is leaving a kid out because they're not yours.

To answer your last question, no the location doesn't matter!

Jesus this is awful... and you sound more awful with each of your posts. How could you possibly exclude this child from your honeymoon if your other 2 are going? What sort of message does that send to this child? There's no other word to use but awful, absolutely awful.