Page 9 | Honeymoon & DSD

sunnydaysandhappythoughts · 05/06/2023 20:14

The OP is either writing this on purpose as a joke or her partner is not making a wise choice getting married to a person who would exclude his child.

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2023 20:14

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 18:18

I’d leave mine with my mum if I could, yes.

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So if your Mom said she'll only take the youngest, are you just gonna take your older cold with you?

lucylucyapplejuicy · 05/06/2023 20:15

Also, DSD is the eldest of the 3 yet your unequivocally leaving POA to your DD for both you and DH? That's a bit strange? She's 10 and you've already decided that for her. What if she moves away, you end up having a NC relationship, she decides she doesn't want to be?!

lysozyme · 05/06/2023 20:17

If you're so certain you're right, why post?

mopeymoo · 05/06/2023 20:18

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 20:00

His nursing home will also be down to our daughter. We are many many years away hopefully but she will have sole POA over both of us for everything when the time comes.

Yes terrible me, leaving my son out too there.

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Why? Why have you decided your daughter has POA? At this age?

Original poster

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 20:18

mopeymoo · 05/06/2023 20:18

Why? Why have you decided your daughter has POA? At this age?

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Not reverent to the thread.

OP posts:

Original poster

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 20:22

I think this thread is going off in directions that have no relevance to the thread so I will thank everyone for their Opinions and do some thinking.

OP posts:

Mumof4alsoabonus · 05/06/2023 20:23

I get it, who wants a 16yr old around on honeymoon. But then again your other kids will be heading into teenage age too. Maybe your dad would be able to watch/entertain them on holiday. If she’s gcses next year you really shouldn’t take her out term time anyway. Mine is that this year and there’s no way I would take them out for a holiday. Hopefully you can get all the kids minded and can go child free. Your dsd will have limited more holidays with yous though so may want to make the most of them.

MumblesParty · 05/06/2023 20:24

I don’t usually do this OP, but since you’re being deliberately provocative and trying to play the part of the wicked stepmother, I feel happy to match your behaviour.

In your OP you say “Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?”
In this context you should say “taken”, not “took”.

Gingergirl70 · 05/06/2023 20:25

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 20:22

I think this thread is going off in directions that have no relevance to the thread so I will thank everyone for their Opinions and do some thinking.

You're the one who brought up the whole POA thing.

Original poster

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 20:26

MumblesParty · 05/06/2023 20:24

I don’t usually do this OP, but since you’re being deliberately provocative and trying to play the part of the wicked stepmother, I feel happy to match your behaviour.

In your OP you say “Has anyone else took their kids but not step kids on their honeymoon?”
In this context you should say “taken”, not “took”.

Great stuff. Thanks.

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2023 20:27

@MinionsHooray are you happy taking just your son and not your daughter or vice versa?

Thesunwillcomeoutverysoon · 05/06/2023 20:27

We took out joint dc. The rest of my dc were old enough ton stay home. And to understand adults on honeymoon will be too busy to manage lots of dc.....
Wink wink.

Mumof4alsoabonus · 05/06/2023 20:28

lucylucyapplejuicy · 05/06/2023 20:15

Also, DSD is the eldest of the 3 yet your unequivocally leaving POA to your DD for both you and DH? That's a bit strange? She's 10 and you've already decided that for her. What if she moves away, you end up having a NC relationship, she decides she doesn't want to be?!

There could be a million reasons for this. We were waiting on ds1 to get to an age where if anything happened to us he would take care of the younger siblings. We would not leave them to the care of dss. That’s not because he’s a ss but because of personality, responsibility etc etc. I will likely feel the same with poa when the time comes. The op’s children/step could have additional needs or anything.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 05/06/2023 20:29

Leaving one of three similarly aged family children behind is a shitty thing to do.

Either take them all or wait until you have childcare for your two.

Youve been together years and aren’t fussed about the wedding so no need for an instant honeymoon.

strawberrywhisk · 05/06/2023 20:35

Mumof4alsoabonus · 05/06/2023 20:28

There could be a million reasons for this. We were waiting on ds1 to get to an age where if anything happened to us he would take care of the younger siblings. We would not leave them to the care of dss. That’s not because he’s a ss but because of personality, responsibility etc etc. I will likely feel the same with poa when the time comes. The op’s children/step could have additional needs or anything.

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I seriously cannot fathom how anyone would expect one of their children to give up plans for their future to take care of myself or their siblings if the worst was to happen. It is just so selfish

Livelovebehappy · 05/06/2023 20:37

What a piece of work…….

JaneorEleven · 05/06/2023 20:38

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2023 20:14

So if your Mom said she'll only take the youngest, are you just gonna take your older cold with you?

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And if your mum can look after the two youngest, but DSDs mum can’t, will you just take DSD and leave your two kids with Gma?

Mumof4alsoabonus · 05/06/2023 20:41

strawberrywhisk · 05/06/2023 20:35

I seriously cannot fathom how anyone would expect one of their children to give up plans for their future to take care of myself or their siblings if the worst was to happen. It is just so selfish

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Why? Hopefully nothing will happen, at least not to both of us, but if it does then someone needs to look after the younger children. There is no one I trust more (or really at all) than ds1. He would be pretty pissed if I chose anyone else anyway. We have spoke about it, including how he would continue to manage his studies/life etc. He’s 22 now and finished his degree. It would still disrupt his life for sure, but losing both your parents would do that!

GoodChat · 05/06/2023 20:43

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 20:22

I think this thread is going off in directions that have no relevance to the thread so I will thank everyone for their Opinions and do some thinking.

You obviously know the information you don't want to disclose so maybe consider if that's clouding your judgement.

Also consider how you would feel if, in the future, you and your DP separate and he gives up his contact with your children to take his new family on holiday.

Original poster

MinionsHooray · 05/06/2023 20:43

strawberrywhisk · 05/06/2023 20:35

I seriously cannot fathom how anyone would expect one of their children to give up plans for their future to take care of myself or their siblings if the worst was to happen. It is just so selfish

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Jesus Christ. What crap are you talking about?! Making it up as you go along to feed your own thoughts.
No one is asking her to give up any plans!!
It’s not a dead cert but if she wants to when she’s older she will be the only one to POA. If she can’t or don’t want to then that’s fine and we will sort something else.

OP posts:

MellowwYelloww · 05/06/2023 20:45

Yes, we did OP.
Sorry, but I didn't want DSC on my honeymoon. Sorry if that offends but that's how I felt.
They went away abroad anyway with other family, so didn't miss out and didn't know about it.

PhoebePhalange · 05/06/2023 20:45

as a mum of 4 (also not in 40s yet) who recently got married and has an eldest child of 15, I think your reason of taking the 'least' amount of children possible is ridiculous honestly. What's one more? Can't your 2 stay with dps mum and dad or his relatives or anyone else on your side? considering how desperate you seem to have no kids you'd think it would be an option worth looking in to!

Honestly it's either all or none in this scenario. The alternative without even giving dsd an invite is just cruel imo.

Also, we still haven't had a honeymoon and if we plan anything all 4 children will be in attendance. Our time to trav solo comes when theyve flown the nest. As a previous poster said, your in a long term relationship, living together, kids in tow, the whole big white wedding and honeymoon by yourselves isn't really what's important anymore. Sure it's nice, and a honeymoon solo with dh would be lovely but its either all or none when it comes to the kids. Your dsd should be seen to you as just as important as one of your own honestly.

strawberrywhisk · 05/06/2023 20:45

Mumof4alsoabonus · 05/06/2023 20:41

Why? Hopefully nothing will happen, at least not to both of us, but if it does then someone needs to look after the younger children. There is no one I trust more (or really at all) than ds1. He would be pretty pissed if I chose anyone else anyway. We have spoke about it, including how he would continue to manage his studies/life etc. He’s 22 now and finished his degree. It would still disrupt his life for sure, but losing both your parents would do that!

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What if he marries and decides to live abroad? Plans change and life takes different paths, would you hold him to something he agreed to as a young man. Do you have a contingency plan. I'm not trying to belittle what you say btw, just curious.

sparklefresh · 05/06/2023 20:46

OP I'll repeat my earlier question - which I do think is relevant: so you care about your DSD's feelings on this?