CMS

[gonnabeyou]

My husband and I are planning a move that takes us quite a distance from his children from his previous marriage, he has an 8yo and an 11yo.
The distance to travel back to collect them with toll costs and fuel works out as £200 per trip. Ie there and back twice.
He pays CMS just now on the basis that he has them overnight one night a fortnight (he has them way more but just not overnight) he pays his ex about £500 per week, this was worked out between them and never done through courts.
My husband is very keen for the move but I just don't think it's financially possible if he wants to carry on seeing them regularly.
If he wants to see them once a month that's an extra 5 grand a year! On top of the 6 he already pays. Exw doesn't do any pick up and drop offs at the moment.
My question, which I'm sure will be unpopular is, can he drop CMS because of the extra costs? If so is there a formula to work out how much less he'd pay to take into account the traveling costs, I'm sure they don't want to go through courts to work this out but equally I think CMS will have to drop if he wants to see them, we are not well off financially.
Please no nasty messages about how we should stay put if we care, it's been a hard decision for various reasons

No he can't, travelling costs and cms are two different things. Cms is to ensure the child has a roof over its head, clothes and food. It's not an amount to trade with.

Regardless who made the decision on move. Any travelling expenses see are a completely outside of cms.

Tbh as it was his decision to move away, I think he should pay the extra £200 per trip. Why should his children go without just so he can live in a digger part of the country.

Different not dogger

Paying parents can apply for a variation order to take travel costs into consideration.

Yes he can. Go on the CMS calculator and work out how much he should pay firstly and how that differs from £500/week, and then if it goes to court, he can apply for a variation to reduce it from the CMS amount due to travel costs.

However, does he even want to reduce payments? Why are you moving (2hrs away?) when it’ll significantly impact how much time he can spend with them and their relationship?

Jesus wept.

Do you mean 500 pounds a month OP? 500 per week would suggest an extremely high income, which means lots more options and lots more judgement as to why you might have chosen to move so far away.

Was it a typo when you said he pays £500 a week, OP? Because that’s 26k post-tax a year. If that’s correct, either you are well-off financially or he’s paying way more than he’s required to in which case a reduction for travel would probably be reasonable.

What a prize he is. I'm sure with the state of the CMS he can probably get away with seeing them less and paying less. Gives you a warm glowy feeling inside doesn't it.

I understand that £500 is a lot of money but it’s also really significantly less than half the cost of raising two kids. If they lived with you and you needed more rooms, more electricity, more food, more costs, more childcare and all of their day to day living you would be spending a lot more than that.

What percentage of his salary is the £500? Cms - which is a bare minimum - expects 20% of salary.

You do also need to pay the travel costs if you move away so that the children still see their dad. If you can’t afford to do that then you can’t afford the move.

Op has clarified that it’s 6k a year - 500 a month.

I mean if it's £500 per week which is on a conservative month £2000 ! And does all the drop off and pick ups and mum does none

I have seen a thread in reverse that multiple people said to mum. Yes move and he will just have to lump it. No suggestion mum does all the driving or any for moving far away 🧐

Back in the real world. Come to a reasonable agreement or go via cms if mums unreasonable. Driving should be 50/50

The person moving £200 per trip should be doing all the driving!

Your maths is wrong. 12 * 200 = £2400.

£200 per trip is £2400 per year, unless you mean it is £200 each way?

If he chooses to move a significant distance away from his children then he needs to be the one who pays for travel.

Back in the real world. Come to a reasonable agreement or go via cms if mums unreasonable. Driving should be 50/50

the courts may not agree with you

He goes twice a month. The math isn't wrong

Is the move actually necessary? He might be able to legally wiggle his way out of paying for his children but morally he has a responsibility to help feed, clothe and house his children. What messege does he send his DCs if he is not only happy to move a long way away from them, but also cut a significant amount from thier household budget during a cost of living crisis?

If you are planning to have DCs with this man, remember what he can do to another woman's DC, he can do to yours.

He's has to do the trip once a fortnight @Mumoftwoinprimary

Honestly OP, like other PPs have said, he's chosen to move away so he should really absorb this cost.

Why should the children's household income now be £200+ per month down due to the decision to move?

There's probably a way of formalising the CMS and then asking them to take the collection costs into account... but morally, I would judge anyone who did that pretty negatively. Why should the children's quality of life be negatively affected by their fathers decision? I.e. less household income, more travel time.

If he can't afford to absorb the cost, then he can't afford to move.

(Probably not the answer you're looking for, and I sense the move isn't just because you'd both prefer it so I'm sorry if my POV causes offence)

He pays £500 a week? Is this done through the official CMS calculation? I don't mean do they collect it - but has it been worked out on their website?

He can apply for a variation to take into account travel costs - there is probably some detail on that somewhere if you Google sorry I don't know where exactly

Back in the real world. Come to a reasonable agreement or go via cms if mums unreasonable. Driving should be 50/50

Or don't move so far away from your children and punish them for it?

Your husband wants to move hundreds of miles away from his children, drastically reduce contact and also reduce their maintenance payments?

How on earth can you remain married to someone with such disregard for his own kids? I genuinely don’t understand how any woman can be attracted to someone who’s so blatantly prepared to treat his kids like shit. Sounds like a pathetic excuse for a “man”. Do you have kids together?

Also no court will order a reduction in maintenance, the person who moves, pays. Tell your husband to give his head a wobble and put his children first.

If hems choosing to move why should the mum incur any of the travel costs/time and why should the maintenance be reduced?
Or is this some sort of joke?

For all we know he's moving to keep his job.

The distance to travel back to collect them with toll costs and fuel works out as £200 per trip. Ie there and back twice.
He pays CMS just now on the basis that he has them overnight one night a fortnight (he has them way more but just not overnight

Hang on.. he pays £50 each way? And they dont stay overnight? Just how far is he driving - how long do they actually stay each time? Or is he visiting near them.

Very true @moonspiral, and valid point, I do get the sense it's not just because it's a preferable location.

I still think that morally, he should still absorb the costs. if I were in the same situation, and was told I had the leave and move what must be 1hr+ away from my child, I would be telling them to stuff their job. There are other options.

And If the job is good enough to move a distance for then it should be paying enough for the upheaval and therefore, he should be able to suck up the cost.