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Disney world dilemma with dsc!!

359 replies

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:18

Well prepared to be flamed for this but here goes…

i have been saving up to take my children to Florida since my first ds was born. My oldest ds is 6 and my youngest ds is 4. It’s taken me the best part of 6 years to save around £10,000. It’s been a struggle what with 2 maternity leaves, house improvements etc but I’ve done it and this money is literally in a pot named ‘Florida’. My absolute dream is to see the magic in my children’s faces in Disney world and for them to be young enough to believe it’s app reap etc. I went to Disney as an adult and cannot imagine how much more magical it must be to take your own children. I have had quotes from a couple of places and am about to book for May 2024.

anyway, dh isn’t bothered about going but will go along with it for my sake. Of course he wants DSS (10) to come along which is fine with me. However DSS mum won’t let him miss a week of school (we are tagging a week onto may half term and pulling our two ds out for a week). To add to this , I work in a school and only get one week at Easter and two in may, that’s why we’ve chosen may half term. August is far too hot and expensive.

She also thinks it’s too far for him to go without his mum. As a mother I can see her point of view. However she has admitted she will never in her wildest dreams afford to take DSS to Florida so this is his only chance but she is telling us to book it for august instead. Dh is telling me to go along with what she wants.

I am literally so so pissed off. This is my absolute dream come true and dh ex is trying to dictate to us. She had dictated SOOO many holiday plans over the years. Threatening to not hand over passport, saying he can come one minute then saying no the next, telling us which dates we can/can’t go and we have gone along with it to ensure he can come with us. I do this for dh sake mainly.
BUT this is different to me. I have saved so so hard to give my boys this experience while they’re young enough to believe it’s real :( they love Mickey Mouse and all things Disney. My heart breaks thinking about them missing out because of DSS mum :(

dh refused point blank to come without DSS. I argued and said it’s not fair our ds don’t get this holiday because of DSS mum. Dh said he doesn’t care. He wanted DSS to come with us so those two could go off alone and go on all the big rides etc :/ (common theme by the way dh and DSS going off alone every weekend)

so in an absolute rage I told dh I will either go alone with our two boys or my mum will come (I know she would) .

he’s telling me to go with my mum. what do I do?? I want dh to experience this with his kids. He won’t go without DSS. I don’t want to be controlled or dictated to by dh ex. DSS is like a moody teenager and has never appreciated any abroad holiday we’ve taken him on.

shall I just take my mum???

OP posts:
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AnneLovesGilbert · 18/03/2023 13:20

Of course you should take your mum. He doesn’t want to go, which sucks for you and your DC, but you can’t make him.

Dirtypaintwater · 18/03/2023 13:22

Go with your mum.

I took my kids, my mum, my ex and his kids. By the time the holiday happened I knew it wasn't going to last with him, so it was a blessing when I was able to get him and his kids to split off from our little group some times - memories and photos without him in!

MrsDrDear · 18/03/2023 13:22

Go with your mum. August would be unbearable. He can take DSS himself if he's that bothered.
Disney dad is quite appropriate in this case.

MrsBunnyEars · 18/03/2023 13:23

Go with your mum, or by yourself. You’re all being a bit awkward.

ThreeblackCats · 18/03/2023 13:26

Go with your mum. It’s a no brainier, there is no dilemma. You saved for this, you’re paying for this, you book it to suit you!

Again, there is no dilemma.

HolidayGlowTime · 18/03/2023 13:27

Go and take your Mum, problem solved.

I'm a SM, luckily never have an issue taking my DSD away, her Mum is very accommodating when it comes to holidays. And because of that, I'd never go on holiday without her.

But I wouldn't have my DC missing out on Disney because of another adult being a pain in the arse. It's sad for your DSC, but not your fault.

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:29

Thanks so much for your replies already.

my mum would love to come. She sees my boys almost everyday and does the school run for me. They love their nanny but they love their daddy so much and I know they will miss him if we go without him :( and I know they will want to share all those special moments with him. it’s making me not want to go at all now even though I have planned and saved for years. The annoying thing is, dh would never have any intention of taking any of his kids to Disney world if it wasn’t for me! But yet he’s so adamant on DSS coming? And DSS is so unappreciative of everything - when we originally told him about Florida he responded ‘right ok’ :/ zero enthusiasm.

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NerdyBird · 18/03/2023 13:31

Go with your mum. Unless DSS mum is going to pay the price difference between your May holiday and an August one she doesn't get a say.
If DH won't go without DSS that's fine.

Or save a few more years and go late July with DSS. Both your boys would still be young enough to enjoy and to remember it.

But whatever you do, don't not go at all.

princesssparklepants · 18/03/2023 13:31

Go without him.

I'm massive Disney lover and taking DD was such a big thing for me. Had DH had issues with it I would def take her on my own.

We have been in may and have loved it but also last year we went in the last 2 weeks of august and it was fine. The US schools are back then so it was actually quite quiet. It was hot but May is also very hot!

AluckyEllie · 18/03/2023 13:32

Definitely go with your mum. You’ll all have a fab time, you won’t have to worry about DSS or his mother, better weather and better value. You will also share two kids with your mum instead of being on your own with two overexcited kids whilst he goes off with his son! Book it and get excited with your mum. Kids will be great ages for it too.

Does sound like your husband is a bit shit though, likes spending time with his more grown up kid but can’t be arsed with the littles (if he just goes off every weekend.)

HermioneWeasley · 18/03/2023 13:32

Another one saying just take your mum. Yes it’s sad your husband won’t be there to see his kids experience it, but that’s his choice. Your mum won’t live forever and this will be an amazing memory for the 4 of you

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:33

Exactly… I can’t bare the thought of my children missing out because of DSS mum being awkward.
dh is saying it’s not fair two of his kids get that experience and one doesn’t .. not my fault if he mum won’t let him come OR take him herself.
we have been abroad (turkey) once without DSS because his mum was away at the same time with him and it overlapped. Dh moped about for a week and actually cried about DSS not being with us. I can’t be arsed with that in Florida

OP posts:
Idontevenknow · 18/03/2023 13:34

Go with your mum!

coodawoodashooda · 18/03/2023 13:35

MrsBunnyEars · 18/03/2023 13:23

Go with your mum, or by yourself. You’re all being a bit awkward.

I don't think op is being awkward

rookiemere · 18/03/2023 13:36

Another vote for go with your DM. It will be a lot more enjoyable with 2 DC at more or less the same age.

Normally I'm very anti term time holidays, but at DSS age missing one week of school really isn't a biggie and August would be unbearably hot and humid.

It's a shame that DSS misses out, but at least by his DF not going it's less painful than him being the only one not going. It also sounds as if you could pay a lot for him and because of his DM he still wouldn't be able to come.

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:37

Thank you @AluckyEllie . I am just going to speak to my mum tonight and I know she will agree. I am just so angry with dh. He definitely carries the guilt torch for DSS but it’s actually getting to the point where is detrimental to my boys now

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MadonnasFacelift · 18/03/2023 13:37

I bet if you go ahead and book with your mum, your DSS and DH will suddenly magically find a way to be able to come.

So just crack on with your plans and be prepared to either have to stand your mum down of fins extra to bring her along too.

Floofydawg · 18/03/2023 13:37

Yep definitely go with your mum. Your husband is being a bit of an arse allowing his ex so much control. And the DSS sounds ungrateful. August is ridiculously hot and humid and it rains a lot. No way would I want to go at that time of year.

Cymraescwtch · 18/03/2023 13:39

Go with your mum, no question.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 18/03/2023 13:39

Go with your dm. She is a better role model and carer of your dc than their own df.
Take a stand and show him your dc matter..

Silverlog · 18/03/2023 13:39

This is your dream more than anyone else's. Go on your own or with your mum.

pinkyredrose · 18/03/2023 13:40

Why is he desperate for Dss to come? They don't all have to be treated the same.

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:41

Guys you have all persuaded me to just take my mum! Thanks so much. Me and my mum will get to have this amazing experience with my two ds - dh will miss out and I truly hope he lives to regret it. If I ever take them again it will be years later when they’re much older and the magic won’t be the same. So thanks guys for helping me make this decision.
dh and his whole family are now being off with me because I dared suggest he comes without DSS …

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DomPom47 · 18/03/2023 13:45

Please go with your mum and have a lovely lovely time.

your mum will probably be more of a help to you and the kids then your husband.

call his bluff and book it.

he can go with DSS later.

PeekAtYou · 18/03/2023 13:45

I wouldn't change to August either. Imagine the moaning about the weather...
It sounds like your mum would be a great travel companion. If your h and dss came and were doing the older rides and parks, how much would be they be sharing ?