Disney world dilemma with dsc!!

[thegoodpart0]

Well prepared to be flamed for this but here goes…

i have been saving up to take my children to Florida since my first ds was born. My oldest ds is 6 and my youngest ds is 4. It’s taken me the best part of 6 years to save around £10,000. It’s been a struggle what with 2 maternity leaves, house improvements etc but I’ve done it and this money is literally in a pot named ‘Florida’. My absolute dream is to see the magic in my children’s faces in Disney world and for them to be young enough to believe it’s app reap etc. I went to Disney as an adult and cannot imagine how much more magical it must be to take your own children. I have had quotes from a couple of places and am about to book for May 2024.

anyway, dh isn’t bothered about going but will go along with it for my sake. Of course he wants DSS (10) to come along which is fine with me. However DSS mum won’t let him miss a week of school (we are tagging a week onto may half term and pulling our two ds out for a week). To add to this , I work in a school and only get one week at Easter and two in may, that’s why we’ve chosen may half term. August is far too hot and expensive.

She also thinks it’s too far for him to go without his mum. As a mother I can see her point of view. However she has admitted she will never in her wildest dreams afford to take DSS to Florida so this is his only chance but she is telling us to book it for august instead. Dh is telling me to go along with what she wants.

I am literally so so pissed off. This is my absolute dream come true and dh ex is trying to dictate to us. She had dictated SOOO many holiday plans over the years. Threatening to not hand over passport, saying he can come one minute then saying no the next, telling us which dates we can/can’t go and we have gone along with it to ensure he can come with us. I do this for dh sake mainly.
BUT this is different to me. I have saved so so hard to give my boys this experience while they’re young enough to believe it’s real :( they love Mickey Mouse and all things Disney. My heart breaks thinking about them missing out because of DSS mum :(

dh refused point blank to come without DSS. I argued and said it’s not fair our ds don’t get this holiday because of DSS mum. Dh said he doesn’t care. He wanted DSS to come with us so those two could go off alone and go on all the big rides etc :/ (common theme by the way dh and DSS going off alone every weekend)

so in an absolute rage I told dh I will either go alone with our two boys or my mum will come (I know she would) .

he’s telling me to go with my mum. what do I do?? I want dh to experience this with his kids. He won’t go without DSS. I don’t want to be controlled or dictated to by dh ex. DSS is like a moody teenager and has never appreciated any abroad holiday we’ve taken him on.

shall I just take my mum???

But why should I not get what I want? I’ve saved and worked my arse off for this holiday.
I wanted DSS to come that was the plan all along until his mum started being awkward. And I wanted my dh to be there with our two ds!
I will never ever let my children be disadvantaged by my dh ex OR not do something with them because DSS mum doesn’t let him join in.

How exciting ! Hope you have a great trip

I’ve thought about this … if she changes her mind of course we would book him on but I would only do that if she handed over his passport to us first. She has messed about in the past last minute saying DSS can’t come on holiday and nearly wasting our money that we’ve paid for him.
if she decides to nearer the time to our departure date (I mean like weeks before) I would have to say no

Why on earth isn't he taking her to court so she can't pull this crap

She doesnt seem to give a shit about her child tbh

Tbh I would just say a flat out no. Its only going to get more and more expensive and DSC needs to learn how little his mum thinks of him :(

The problem with court is you can get a court order mum breaks it and gets a slap on the wrist and the child still misses out.

That's kinda how it goes and we all know it

Would SS's mother really do that to her child though? One would hope not.

I hope not too. But some people really are that way inclined.

Congratulations on getting it booked OP, it will be an incredible holiday for you all!
It is so unfortunate that DSS will be missing out as a result of his mum's pigheadedness, but it is absolutely not something you should feel guilty about, you gave her every opportunity to allow you to give DSS an amazing opportunity and she'd rather cut off her nose to spite her face 🤷🏼‍♀️

Court orders arent worth the paper they're written on! A court can order anything but a parent can simply "not be home" for the other parent to collect the child. And what's the resolution? Back to court.

What a shame DSS is missing out all because of SM! Even if you did change all the plans and go.in August, she'd find a way to mess with those plans too! !

Take your kids and your mum and go without him.

His choice. He can't be grumpy about it. He misses out with 2 of his kids for the sake of 1 who is being prevented by the other parent. Explain that to him. If he can't see that then... that says it all really.

Er no, he's missing out because of his own mother.

Yep go with your mum. You say it’s a common theme for him to go off with his son at weekends, I’d nip that in the bud too. Not unreasonable for him to have the odd day or afternoon just the 2 of them if he’s a little older and wants to do other things, but if it’s a common thing nope.. he has 2 other young kids that he should also be making a priority. You should all do things together as a family.

This thread sounds very oddly exactly the same than the story of a post from a few months ago. Same situation, same place, same messing about in the past ...

I imagine it is unbelievably common.

I myself will have the same problem at some point. We are saving to go, stepchildren's Mum would never be able to afford it but will be bitter that we can and rather not let her kids go than go with us, so will make it as difficult as possible. I can see it playing out already.

Yep same. My ss mum wouldn’t ever let us take him away with us, but would also tell us that we leave him out of things or don’t treat him the same as our own kids. I imagine it’s very common

Well, OP is paying for it and organising it. So why shouldn’t she get what she wants?! SS mother sounds like a pain, it’s on her that SS is missing out.

As someone who has been a few times, going in August would have been way too much. The actual plan sounds way more sensible

Well, OP is paying for it and organising it. So why shouldn’t she get what she wants?! SS mother sounds like a pain, it’s on her that SS is missing out.

As someone who has been a few times, going in August would have been way too much. The actual plan sounds way more sensible

Yes. I know. I agree with you.
If you read my post properly!

@funinthesun19 l did read it properly 🙄

It was the quoting in bold you did, that l addressed my “of course she can get what wants at”

Ah, sorry. So the joke is on me then as I didn’t read it properly 😆.
I thought you were responding to me and not the quote in bold. Glad we agree anyway!

There's lots of women who unfortunately put their hatred of their ex / new partner above the love of their children. It's sad, but it's not uncommon.

To be fair, it would have been much less confusing if you had just used the original quote and not included @funinthesun19's reply to it. By quoting her like that it did seem like you were addressing her point rather than the pp's point (the quote in bold).

Absolutely take your mom and let your knob of a husband parent his children while you are gone. It is probable your children will not miss him at all and you and your kids - and your mother - will have these wonderful memories.