This is coming in hot after an argument with my OH so might be a little dramatic but I don't know if I can do this anymore.
I've been with my OH for 6years now. We have a 9month old baby girl and he has a 10yrs old daughter from a previous relationship. Myself and SD aren't particularly close, we get on fine but that's about as far as it goes. She loves her little sister and loves to help with her which is great. The problem me an OH are having is we keep butting heads around SD. He is militarily and is away Mon-Friday so I'm single parenting in the week which can feel like a lot sometimes. I moved to where I am to be with my OH and have no family here meaning I'm completely on my own and him and my daughter are my only family. However we get in our own little routine in the week and he comes home at the weekend. On the weekends we have SD I can't help but feeling overwhelmed. It goes from just being me and DD to OH and SD and I can't help but feel like everything just gets taken over! I'm constantly anxious and on edge and I can't seem to help feeling this way! Anyway the argument... OH is finishing up early one week and his first thought is he wants to have SD for more time, which is fine but he hasn't even considered just having some time with me and DD. He says he wants to take the opportunity to have 1:1 time with SD but once again hasn't even considered having any 1:1 time with DD so will happily stick her in nursery all day and not think about utilising some of the time with her?! He keeps saying that DD gets him for more time than SD but that's not DD fault! Why shouldn't she have her dad all full time when that's the life I brought her into and the life I wanted for my child! I didn't have a baby with him so he could be a part time father to her to compensate for his situation with his other daughter. I just never feel that we are his priority, we are always an afterthought. DD literally only has me and her dad nearby and right now I feel all she has full time is me. It's actually starting to break my heart and worry if I'm enough for her. My parents absolutely adore her and Im breaking their heart being so far away - the mum guilt is seriously starting to get to me keeping her away from family that love and miss her so much for a dad that never puts her first. I just don't know what to do anymore? I love my OH with all my heart but don't know if this will ever get better or if I'll ever feel differently towards SD. He had now left for another week with this unresolved argument and I'm definitely spiralling right now! Is there a way past this or will this forever be our argument? I don't want to feel like this all the time and right now with all my emotions right now I want to pack up our stuff and travel 500miles back home and see how he feels if we aren't here anymore! (I'm not going to do this but it's how I feel right now). I'm sure I'm going to get some hate for the post but would be nice to hear if anyone has had a similar situation and felt similar? And what did you do to make it better?... feeling very alone, trapped and helpless right now 😔