partner won't let my child come round anymore

[jonjonuk22]

im having troubles with the whole adapting as a step parent. recently my partner thinks im being extremely disrespectful to her child who lives with us, and has now resulted in issues when my daughter comes round.

she now says, my daughter is not welcome in the house anymore and i should make alternative arrangements rather then staying at my home.

until i can be more respectful to her child that's the way it will be

i don't think this is right regardless of her reasons for saying it, i believe it should never come to me having to find alternative arrangements when my child is with me at the weekends.

she thinks this is ok and our relationship shouldn't be affected by it and i should accept it and that its wrong that my child is a factor in our relationship like this

is this right to just accept this ?

Fucks sake

You have to ask?

No it’s no ok. It will never be ok. Why are you even deliberating this? End the relationship ffs. You are expected to live with her child, but not have your child come for weekends ….I mean seriously?!

Maybe she should send her kid away as well then? What's good for the goose...

Did you move into her home with her OP? Still batshit, but may explain part of the dynamics at work here. It sounds like she looks at itinerary her home, not yours as well.

Well why aren't you respectful to her dc?

On the face of things - no is isn't acceptable.

Several questions -
What does your partner mean by being disrespectful of her DD ? (I hate this term by BTW )

who moved in with whom ?

Ages of children ?

Questions and answers aside, if the relationship is at the point where your partner is not letting your DD stay (for whatever reason) I think the relationship is blown and you need to re-think your accommodation situation

I would leave my partner if they suggested my child was not welcome in my home unless my child had been genuinely violent or criminal. I assume your child is just being a regular child and there is no major back story?

What is your housing arrangement - who owns the house you live in? Can you leave?

What’s your behaviour and what are the issues?

it’s a bit hard to respond as it’s hard to understand the issues you’re alluding to. In what way are you disrespectful to her child? What are the issues that arise when your daughter visits? why does your wife think your daughter shouldn’t visit?

You say 'my home'... whose house is it? You need to prioritise your child, end the relationship and either move out or ask her to move out

to give more of a scenario

I moved in to her house 3 years ago, we have no children together, her child has special needs.

i struggle to engage with her as her needs don't allow much of that and to do things together are difficult, she has routines and processes she follows like when she is on her tablet, i don't interfere and leave her to it to prevent any potential problems/meltdowns coming up

when my daughter comes i engage more as i am able to, i do more things with her then i do with her child. we have more interests together and i focus on them hobbies

my partner sees it as a total difference in my behaviour in the house when she isn't here to when she is

the disrespectful part, when i see her doing something wrong, i tell her to stop doing it, she says i look at her wrong and thinks i am hateful towards her child and it seems all i do is tell her off but anything else like when i talk, she doesn't engage because of her needs

she likely has other examples of me being disrespectful but i don't see it like she does,

she says she is gonna treat my daughter like i do, and now until i show more respect to her daughter mine isn't welcome, she comes every other week for a few days and she said i have to find someone else to go with her cause she isn't welcome anymore until i change my behaviour

when there have been issues in the past , she has said my future of the relationship shouldn't depend on your child needs so forth

i just think regardless of if she thinks im being disrespectful it should never be the case that i shouldn't be allowed to bring my daughter anymore in to the home.

she thinks its okay and if i say well our relationship has a further problem then she says, oh our relationship is dependent on your child. that's not right

Move out. You're incompatible regardless of the rights and wrongs and both kids will be very unhappy stuck in the middle.

You are incompatible, you need to both put your children first and end this relationship.

It's a shitshow regardless of who is at fault. Call it a day for the sake of the kids.

Your daughter should always come first. Leave your partner. No one should tell you your child isn't welcome in your own house.

She is so wrong. You need to be able to see your own child in the place you live. I also think you need to separate, This relationship is doomed.

Move out , this relationship is not going to work in the long term .

I'd be moving out

I couldn’t be with anyone who tried to get in the way of the relationship between me and my children. Put your child first.

Your child must come first! Did you miss the memo??

For Christs sake move out and put your kid first. You can still date this person if you want, lord knows why you would want to though.

So you don't regularly engage with her but have no problem telling her off? And you behave in a completely different manner in front of her with your own child?

That's really sad.

Kindest thing for all involved would be for you to leave.

Your partner is actively abusive and it’s only going to get worse. Please do not have a child with this woman, leave as soon as you are able. I hope you’re ok

If your partner gets in the way of your relationship with your child then you leave. You owe it to your daughter.

Another couple of children who are going to be screwed up by being raised in ‘blended’ families.

I'm hoping this is made up. Why do some people insist on making such a mess of their kids lives?