Holidays and stepchildren

[JennyJungle]

Just wondering how it works in everyone else’s house.. if you also have your own children together?

Do you always holiday together with your step kids? Or do you do some holidays with them and some without?

We normally take our kids (we have 2) out of school to go abroad for a week as it’s a lot cheaper.

However DSD mum has said she doesn’t want her to miss any school next year as it’s the start of her GCSE stuff.

I still want to take our kids abroad next year but it means DSD missing out. We can’t afford to go in the school holidays as the prices shoot up.

It’s not a option for dad to not come as our youngest is severely disabled and it would be extremely hard work with only one of us there.

DSD is already going on holiday with her mum at Xmas abroad in a couple of months.

If we went abroad and she didn’t come we would still go camping in the school holidays so she would still get a holiday with us but just not abroad.

Do many other families do holidays with/without your step children?

Shes only missing out becuase mum says no.

If you would normally take her, then arranging it for a time she can't go is mean.

Shes missing out because one of her parents says no. If that parent doesn't care that she's missing out why should OP.

OP: what will you do when your own kids are in the important exam years?

If you were in a nuclear family rather than blended, it is likely that the needs of the exam-taking Dc influence the shape of the year and the family holidays.

On the other hand, half-siblings are often much younger than full siblings, so the impact is spread over more years.

It’s tricky.

We never took our kids out of school for holidays at any stage and managed with a holiday of the kind you mean every 3 years.

Complicated juggling act of priorities and sensitivities.

She can go. Mum says no

Not overall - she’s still having holidays. Young DC shouldn’t be made to actually miss out - as I’m not get a holiday and getting far less overall than DSD for fear of upsetting their half sibling, as they don’t have another parent to do everything twice.

It’s just circumstances. It’s fine.

Some people seem to think you shouldn’t have any joy in your lives unless you include older children. It’s just not practical.

Because she is in secondary school doing GCSEs! Of course she can't go on holiday in term time.

By the time a child gets to secondary school, term time holidays should stop.

Thats up to the parents

Some people seem to think you shouldn’t have any joy in your lives unless you include older children. It’s just not practical.

nonsense

🙄

Or, she’s missing out because one parent isn’t prioritising her education and holidays in term time!

Very easy for the girls Mum to be blamed… for not wanting her taken out of school during the all important GCSE curriculum years.

we have children together, and both have children from previous. We do holidays with all the kids together, but we do also take our own 2 on holiday in term time, because it’s more based on their ages, toddler stuff. And our other kids are older and in school. So yeah we do it and it’s fine, the older kids don’t begrudge the younger ones a little time away.

My DC go on holiday with me one year and their father the next so I have no bitterness or anything before anyone suggests it.

I think what you have planned is fine, OP. If you had been going in the summer holidays, obviously it would be different. As you said, your SC was invited but mum - rightly - has said no as school takes precedence. But you would be a fool not to take advantage of cheap holidays whilst your own DCs are small.

Your SC gets a holiday with mum that your DCs aren't invited to obvs and will go camping with you in the summer so they have their fair share of holidays.

If dad is up for the term time holiday then yes it is mum stopping her.

It's not a priority I agree with but it is up to the parents to decide on their priority

Just book for early July if you want DSD to come - Y11 children don't attend school once GCSEs are finished so you can take advantage of lower prices then.

Alternatively, you absolutely are allowed to do things that don't include DSD. She has a life with her mum too, and your family life when she's not there is important.

There's no way I would let DC's holiday be synchronised with the ex's holidays. She's nothing to DC. SDC sure they can arrange what they want but hell would freeze before I allow someone else's family affect my DC like that.

Well in this scenario their siblings other parent, who is likely a nobody to them, would prevent them having a holiday. Utter madness that their activities should be dictated by someone who has no interest in their welfare.

I loaathe the justifiction that mum is taking the step child away so it is ok if there father can not be bothered to do this.

It is not a competition but the number of fathers who never take their older children on holiday is really quite sad.

Yes its not right for the DC to not have a holiday or a different holiday just because some random person has decided their sibling can't join them

She’s Yr 10 so won’t finish in June as far as I’m aware? I think this is just the start of her GCSEs studies.

@JennyJungle is your DH on board with taking DSC out of school?

OP has said quite plainly that she will still get a holiday with her Dad.

I think her mums being a bit precious about the term time holiday in year 10 tbh. I'd explain to her why you can't afford a school holiday abroad holiday but next year you'll time the holiday for post GCSE - maybe let her pick the destination out of 3 that you can afford so she doesn't feel left out.

It won't be for long. Year 11 finishes earlier so you can get a cheap holiday in after her last exam, and same with upper sixth/year 13.

So that is two years where term time holidays are an issue. So you could either only have one holiday those years so you have more budget for a school holiday break or agree with DSD that she doesn't come but that you make the holiday without her a bit more low key and save to make the holiday after her exams a bit more special.