Holidays and stepchildren

[JennyJungle]

Just wondering how it works in everyone else’s house.. if you also have your own children together?

Do you always holiday together with your step kids? Or do you do some holidays with them and some without?

We normally take our kids (we have 2) out of school to go abroad for a week as it’s a lot cheaper.

However DSD mum has said she doesn’t want her to miss any school next year as it’s the start of her GCSE stuff.

I still want to take our kids abroad next year but it means DSD missing out. We can’t afford to go in the school holidays as the prices shoot up.

It’s not a option for dad to not come as our youngest is severely disabled and it would be extremely hard work with only one of us there.

DSD is already going on holiday with her mum at Xmas abroad in a couple of months.

If we went abroad and she didn’t come we would still go camping in the school holidays so she would still get a holiday with us but just not abroad.

Do many other families do holidays with/without your step children?

But if you don't take yours then SD gets a holiday and yours don't? I'd take them.

We holiday abroad with all the kids but they are always asked if they'd want to come or not.
We do shorter breaks without some of them. Butlins it centre parcs, the big ones don't want to come.

I think this is ok because you're still planning to go away with DSD (camping in the school holidays) and DSD's mum is taking her abroad without your DC. But if it wasn't for those two factors, then I think it would be important to include her.

So stepdaughter gets two holidays abroad but your kids get 1.

It's not as though you're not including her. It can't be helped by the reasons you've stated.

Before we had our own DC we’d go on holiday just us but that felt different as it’d be non child friendly holidays and at that point DSDs mum wouldn’t let her go abroad anyway.
now we have DC we wouldn’t go away without DSD; sometimes that has meant we haven’t been abroad that year because we can’t afford term time prices: for us and the relationship we have with DSD it wouldn’t feel right snd DSD would feel excluded plus her mum would have really used it as an excuse to show DSD we didn’t consider her part of our family

We used to holiday alternative years. One year with us, following year they went with their mum. Seemed the fairest all round.

So to summarise:
DSD - holiday abroad with mum
DC - holiday abroad with mum
All DC - camping holiday with dad

All very equal experiences so far.

The only difference is that your DC will also have their dad on the holiday abroad, and this should shock nobody as your DC have parents who are still together and it's the height of pettiness to start pretending that's not the case as some posters will suggest.

@Yousee Yes I agree. It's important to remember that your DC shouldn't have to miss out just because their siblings have 2 homes.

That's ridiculous. OP's DC shouldn't have to coordinate holiday based on someone who is shit all to do with them

They were included but mum decided no.

Just speak to her about it. I’m sure if you speak to her she won’t mind.

My mum went on holiday every year with her partner without me. My dad and his wife and kids even though I lived with them would also go away and not even tell me! I’d come home from school or college to an empty house.

Holiday somewhere cheaper that you can afford during school holidays to meet the needs of the child

@SpookyPanda But DSD's mum is right that she shouldn't go on a term time holiday if she's doing GCSEs - I imagine her dad would agree with that too.

I will be honest, there is no chance il go on holiday to a youth hostel.

UK cottages in school holidays are also so so expensive for that they are.

We will be going camping with DSD in school holidays. :)

It's up to Dad if it's happening on his time. If dad is willing to do it but mum says no then that's not OP and Dad's fault.

Iv never been fined so far and my sons school authorise all his holidays anyway (or they have so far).

Have you checked DSD school timetable, most GCSE students finish their exams by end of June and are able to leave early July for holidays. We took DS girlfriend on holiday after she finished her exams early July.

Agree after covid a UK holiday and a foreign holiday aren’t much different in terms of cost.

Ask her? When my older 2 hit their teens they didn't always want to go on holiday with their little half siblings so sometimes they came and sometimes they didn't. They always had the invitation.

And conversely should Dsd have to miss out on her holiday with her Dad because her parents are separated?

She’s not missing out, she’s just not able to go on that occasion.

We did a bit of both.

Definitely no disruption to exam year though!

Which is missing out.

How else do you define it?

We always took them together. In later years budget wasn’t so much of an issue but when they were young it was, so we either chose cheaper holidays (cheaper destinations and/or shorter duration) or went away every other year to allow us to save up the extra.

Is she doing her GCSEs this year? If so she will finish school in june. You can book an out of term holiday last week of June/first two weeks of July.