Ok, Ok, where's the magic Rule Book then?

[SpaceshiptoMars]

I keep seeing posts saying ''Step parents should... blah blah blah". No good reasons why, just 'because I say so'.

So come on then, all those who want to be rule setters for Step Mums. Where is your authority? Why do you think you get to tell other adults how to behave in their own home? Is it some kind of religious thing? Where is all this coming from?

I know, I don't get to outsource my responsibility to some sort of deputy!

@SpaceshiptoMars just snorted with laughter at your last comment, because it's so true !

Hahahaha

In the absence of the bio mum being able to increase maintenance out of the earnings of the stepmum (no kids of her own, career woman) aforementioned bio mum is entitled to bleat on constantly about how much money "Dad and his new wife" have and how hard done by bio mum is. It doesn't matter a jot that bio mum works 3 days a week with teenage children and family childcare options on tap.

This extends to telling the kids that Dad "wastes" his money and teaching the kids to inspect the house every time they visit for new purchases, catalogue them and report back to bio mum.

And you're also allowed to tell the kids "ask Dolly" whenever a school trip, laptop, holiday, mobile phone etc needs paying for

I’ll never understand why mothers with no experience of step parenting feel the need to tell those of us who do what to think:feel.

I am wondering how many people are creeping on to this post and it seems verbatim putting all of the comments in this thread into another..

I think its just some people genuinely believe this shit!

DH has been told that if we can afford fancy candles then we can afford DSC's extra music lessons.

There's no "we" and DH told her to stop snooping in our recycling bin as there's no way the DSC had seen my candle.

Well tbf she didn't have to go through it the box was on the top of the recycling. I'm tempted to save my fanciest packaging for when she's due to do the drop off/pick up and put it all out at once one day :D

Have we had "if your husband loses his job or takes a pay cut you must make up the maintenance out of your earnings so the DSC's lifestyle isn't affected"? Even if it means any DC you have with DH lose out.

It must be Hermes delivering them and there is a big warehouse somewhere just full of the packages we were meant to get - just piles of crystal balls and monster books. I saw Joe Lycett did a bit on it (Hermes deliveries, not stepmums).

The posh shower gel comment made me laugh so much. It is EXACTLY what we have just had go on here- an issue I thought would be dealt with within our house, but no.... it has also involved DM who helpfully explained how wrong I was (the ss didn't do it; if he did do it - he didn't mean to; if he did mean to it wasn't his fault because I shouldn't have left it in my bathroom cabinet. It should have been locked away). But now I know, so I can add that to my notes.

The magic rule book is of course contained within the PACKAGE that your partner and his kids come in...duh 🙄

This Step Parenting for Dummies package also handily contains:

1 x crystal ball
1 x "I know my place" apron
1 x queue to stand at the back of at all times
2 x knee pads for dropping to the floor in eternal gratitude at being allowed to pay towards share your home with another person's children
1 x weekly planner for writing in plans then ripping them up last minute
1 x repair kit to help you fix the "broken" home the DC's own parents instigated
1 x "I chose this" silver lapel pin
1 x elephant to help you never forget the above
2 x "I chose this" platinum lapel pins for the DC's parents
2 x bins for DC's parents to conveniently throw their "I chose this" lapel pins into
1 x pre-recorded message of "poor children, you obviously resent them" to play for the duration of posting on this board
0 x permission to ever find anything hard because you knew exactly what you were getting into (see also - "I chose this" silver lapel pin)

Hahahahahahaha @DebussytoaDiscoBeat 🤣🤣👏👏👏

Brilliant!

Ah yes. The infamous package. 🤣🤣🤣

@Steptoeandson @Ontomatopea big houses AND fancy candles? How very dare you work for a living and enjoy the fruits of your labour.

I remember SD picking up a half empty vodka bottle in our house once and shrieking "you spent money on vodka? Should be spending all your money on me!" No dear, you're one of the reasons why I bought the vodka in the first place

The broken family repair kit but seems to go missing as much as the crystal ball. And has exactly the right focus - just the ‘poor SC’ and their guilt-ridden father. No one else could possibly be affected.

My STBXH often refers to his time with the SC as an exercise in damage limitation. He’s meaning that he’s trying to mitigate the negative effects of their mother’s parenting and life choices. But, as always, he’s only thinking about the SC and his own feelings. He’s not thinking about the considerable amount of damage limitation for everyone else exposed to that whole circus. The effects of their behaviour and their mother’s drama on everyone else - including our small child - don’t matter. It’s only about the ‘poor SC’.

@DebussytoaDiscoBeat ahhh was this on delivery of saying my marriage vows ? Bugger must have gotten lost in the mail.

Must be why I'm so badly behaved my poor DSC 🙄🤣

Oh yes it's always "dad's house". Even in my case where the house is owned solely by me as I bought it prior to meeting dp. That hasn't stopped dm suggesting we have photos of her in the house so dsd feels more at home!

@Tuesday598 the fact you have pictures any pictures in your house of mum makes you a much nicer person than me.

And I get on with the my DSD mum well (bad bumps ect) but I don't want her smiling face staring back at me in the house I have bought and paid for myself 😳

@Dollyparton3 lol at the vodka bottle. Have they gotten less potent with age ? Genuinely fearing if grand babies arrive tbh