Reasonable to think this is hypocritical or am I over reacting?

[UppityUp]

I really wanted to take our DC abroad this year before they start school next year. Husband didn't want to come as we can't afford to go away in the school holidays and he felt mean on DSC going without them, fair enough I understood.

So I booked a short break next week for 4 days with our DC by myself.

DH has just now told me he's booked to take DSC away for the weekend for 2 nights whilst we are gone.

AIBU to be a little miffed about this? I don't have a problem at all with him spending 1:1 time with his children but it seems he never spends it with ours because he feels bad but it's fine the other way around?

DSC are going away with their mum in the summer hols so they are getting a holiday so in my mind, me going without DH was just the same thing. Our DC get a holiday with mum and DSC get a holiday with theirs. It just seems a bit hypocritical of my husband to say he can't go away with our DC because it's mean but then do it with DSC without our DC.

If it was consistent with both I'd not care like if I knew he'd happily go away for a couple of nights / long weekend with ours but I know he wouldn't.

Just seems like anything is only unfair if it involves being unfair to DSC. If it's our DC it doesn't matter.

Awh were you a poor neglected step child from a broken home who blames it all exclusively on the new wife and not on either of your parents? Makes sense.

If you are step child and your still carrying around the same stuff your spewing, you do need to see someone about your issues .

Although the step parenting board is nuanced, you should be able to read a OP and not project your issues on to a OP.

None of the things you have mentioned have appeared in the OP. Baffling you would bring it up.

If you then say no I wasn't a step child, I have friends who are step kids/sm
No I'm just gonna laugh.

I may have seen a surgery in RL, doesn't mean I'm qualified to teach a surgeon how to do his or her job.

The fact you can write means you should have basic comprehension skills to be able to read and you should be able to marry up what was posted to what you said and realise they are worlds apart.

I have no problem non SP coming on here if they can give a balanced view. You are offering neither but a really weird insight as to you as a person tbh

No - but if I was, and if my father had been a good parent, he would have carried on seeing me as much as both of us wanted, regardless of what a new woman tried to tell him. So I would not have felt neglected.

I would only have felt neglected if my father had listened to his new woman and saw less of me in order to focus on her and his new DC.

So thankfully that didn’t happen either. To me. But definitely have seen it happen, and then you come on here and see the mindset of some of the SMs involved….

By the way @Catfordthefifth you sound so contemptuous and dismissive of a “poor neglected stepchild from a broken home”. What a horrible way to speak about a child, and I suspect you must be the very SM type I am talking about.

So you don't have step kids, your kids aren't step kids, you weren't one. What exactly is this magical bullshit insight you have?

I won't even dignify the rest of your response with an answer because it's wholly irrelevant.

Oh no, I was a step child. Hth.

I’m going to guess that she knows some people who are stepparents. But doesn’t recognise how little of any of what’s actually going on in stepfamilies people on the outside

Actually see.

There a lot of shame and fear of being the evil SM. People don’t let on about this stuff IRL. They either internalise it or just pretend they feel differently.

@Catfordthefifth is talking about me.

I'm so NOT insulted😂

In my case the problem was caused by my lazy father.

I'm also a SM btw.

Uh-huh but the father in the OP is not as lazy as yours was. He wants to see his older DC. Just because you were neglected by your father doesn’t mean every child has to be.

Have you read the thread. This father is putting some of his kids before the others. That’s the problem.

...... No I'm not? I didn't reply that to you?

Or am I? I'm lost I thought I was replying to the poster who said they didn't have a step child nor did their child have a step parent. I assumed they were a step child who hadn't quite got over it and was blaming the wrong person.

No personal ties to step parenting but I have dealt with some very unhappy children, teens and adults with lifelong issues - the sort an SM pp here has openly sneered at. There is just something about a certain type of divisive SM. Rarely any overt abuse, it’s all done behind the scenes. In real life the child never quite knows what went wrong, only that something did. On here I can see it clearly in some posts (not all; some SMs are a net positive influence in their SDCs lives) but in the worst ones it’s both interesting and very unpleasant.

Wow. You deal with children in your professional capacity? I'm genuinely surprised.

Did I say I did?

Multiple births?

Then why are you here?

You seem unaware with every relationship there is more than one side so thank fuck you aren't a professional.

I’ve already said why I’m here.

Let's all hope you're not.

You're just here to be nasty, then?

Ah so you chatted to some of your friends kids, with 0 professional training and/or personal lived experience/ knowledge and thought ah you know what this situation needs my advice/judgement on a topic I know nothing about.

Imagine wondering over to the multiple births board and saying to a op asking for help :

You : "Oh op your doing it all wrong your poor children"
and the op asks "how old are your twins/multiples"
Then you respond "oh I don't have twins"
Op - "so you work with mums who have multiples"
Thereisnolight "er no, I have no lived experience of twins or multiples but I have chatted to some twin/multiple mums before many times over the years .I find it very interesting find it all very interesting how awful it sounds being a twin mum"

Can you imagine how that would pan out @Thereisnolight ? Like a dead pet rabbit on Christmas Day.

I know the stepparent board is a bit of fun for some coming along to bash step parents but to insult people with judgement calls you have just randomly made up and then say oh I just lurk on this board because it's interesting.

It's beyond the normal realms of weird. Even for this board.

And even the though it's the step parenting board a step child or a Dm would probably have more relevance and idea of the real issues that go down in a blended family and are at least up front about their motives/perspective for posting.

As I said you wouldn't do it on another board. Frankly it's odd. My only other thought is actually your a previous poster that got banned under a different username for being vile (quite a achievement) and don't want to be outted.

Either way I don't expect you to be honest but I want you know that what your doing is out there in oddity levels. Even for this board.