AIBU to think you don't keep a child awake just so they can see their siblings?

[TiredBabe]

We have DSC 50:50. EOW but during the week the other.

When they stay during the week they don't really get to see our toddler as they have hobbies on most evenings and by the time they get home our child is in bed and then in the morning it's up and out to school.

My husband thinks I should keep our toddler up an extra half an hour in the evenings so DSC can 'say hello', AIBU to say absolutely bloody not.

He's cranky and ready for bed by 7:15ish so we have milk and a story and he's asleep by 7:30. DSC tend to get home around the time he's put into bed so we are upstairs when they come in.

I work part time so spend most of my time with our DC so I know when he's getting too tired and when he needs to go to sleep.

Yanbu.

Tell dh he can collect the toddler from Nursery before he gets his older dc - he can then do dinner for all four of them and the dsc can spend time with their sibling. He can take toddler along to hobbies and you could collect him from there on your way home.

Bet he won't agree to that!

Why would she mention them in great detail though? The issue isn't about them, it's about the DC's bedtime.

I didn't say great detail, she didn't mention them or their feelings at all.

It is actually about them too, as they want ti see her DS.

I'm not staying he should stay up late, at all, just OP seems uninterested in them.

I do understand this. But I think in many of those cases if you didn't HAVE to do that, people wouldn't do it. I.e. if you had a parent at home who could put the young one to bed whilst you picked up the others, that's what most people would do.

Oh yes, absolutely. My reply was to the pp who seemed to suggest this kind of thing wasn't a normal part of family life.

Nope - in fact when they do it's usually a precursor to them about to say the exact opposite.

Seeming to have no interest in them in terms of how they present it in their posts makes me sad me sad though.

Why does she need to? They have two parents to consider their feelings. Her dh seems to be putting all his efforts into caring for two of his children at the expense of his third.

All OP is doing is looking out for her child. Which it's own father doesn't seem bothered enough to do.

@TiredBabe

Ok I'll leave you to it. As I said, it was the tone directed toward your SC & their activities. I think situations with SC generally must be very challenging, from reading posts here & I feel sorry a lot of time for the SC.

Hope you get it sorted anyway.

You make this accusation on any SP I see your name pop up on.

You also didn't answer the OP's question relating to her son and the fact she hasn't really mentioned him either.

You say she hasn't mentioned her SC's feelings, but how would that change anything? They can feel disappointed to not see their little brother, it doesn't alter the fact he needs his sleep and that need outweighs anything else.

So let me get this right... I should base my work around my step children? 😂😂😂

And no I don't CHOOSE to work those days .. I have to work. I'm assuming a lot of people do?

I genuinely don't think they should give up their hobbies, I already said that. It was in reply to poster's suggesting the sibling relationship was more important. If that's the case why is it not more important than hobbies as well? I'm just asking why one is more important than the other. I wasn't actually saying they should give up their hobbies.

If you actually were with your child at home, there would be no issue! And the child wouldn't be so exhausted after having to spend all of that time (for your benefit) in nursery!

Sorry but do you realise how fucking privileged you sound.

You could try to adjust bedtime over a few weeks. So moving it 5 minutes later in steps. However if SC then wind him uo, & he cant sleep, your evening us screwed.
You are not going to risk having an over tired child, tantrums & potentially broken nights sleep.
If your H wants to try, he can do it, the final putting down, the night wakings, & the morning whining during breakfast.
He'll only do it once.

It is nice however that SC want to see him, I would encourage that

@TheVillageElder

Absolutely. OP paying her bills and supporting her children is totally unnecessary. I don’t know any other parents who HAVE to work. I pay my bills with the money tree in my garden and devote the time I would spend working to concerning myself with my DSS’ happiness.

It is nice however that SC want to see him, I would encourage that

I agree it's nice they want to see him and they are really lovely with him. We spend the weekends doing things all together and it's great.

You are not going to risk having an over tired child, tantrums & potentially broken nights sleep.
If your H wants to try, he can do it, the final putting down, the night wakings, & the morning whining during breakfast

I do get what you're saying, that DH should deal with the consequences. But even if he did, I still don't want to do that to my son. It's not just awful for me when he's like that, it's not nice for him either have tantrums and broken sleep and whining etc...

So actually, the reason they don't get to see their sibling mid week is due to you choosing to work in the days they're here and you putting your child in nursery until 6pm? If you actually were with your child at home, there would be no issue!

What the actual fuck is this comment?

Maybe DH could just quit work and have ALL the DC at home with him. He's such a selfish wanker choosing to work during the week.

DH is a man OP. You’re being unrealistic.

you choosing to work in the days they're here and you putting your child in nursery until 6pm?
If you actually were with your child at home, there would be no issue!

Are you actually on drugs ? Your shaming a step mum for working and putting them in nursery... I think I have read it all now.

I've heard it all now. Some people really do live on another planet don't they.

Give up work to dote on your step children Jesus Christ

Are you offering to pay the OPs bills and mortgage?

I mean 9f that's on offer I will also give up work and live off the magic mumsnet fairy who is going to pay all my bills.

I agree. That's completely a reach as the OP hasn't even mentioned any problems or issues with the SC. It's just the world doesn't stop because they have a hobby. I would suggest the issue is more with DH thinking royalty is coming and not letting SC fit in with family life as they should.

Who, please tell me, do you expect to actually pay for us to live then?

As I said, fucking privileged.

@TiredBabe
I actually love your responses 😂
Wish I knew you in real life as you are 100% my kind of person.

The responses on here are ridiculous and probably not even from SM's.