AIBU to think you don't keep a child awake just so they can see their siblings?

[TiredBabe]

We have DSC 50:50. EOW but during the week the other.

When they stay during the week they don't really get to see our toddler as they have hobbies on most evenings and by the time they get home our child is in bed and then in the morning it's up and out to school.

My husband thinks I should keep our toddler up an extra half an hour in the evenings so DSC can 'say hello', AIBU to say absolutely bloody not.

He's cranky and ready for bed by 7:15ish so we have milk and a story and he's asleep by 7:30. DSC tend to get home around the time he's put into bed so we are upstairs when they come in.

I work part time so spend most of my time with our DC so I know when he's getting too tired and when he needs to go to sleep.

Tell dh he can collect the toddler from Nursery before he gets his older dc - he can then do dinner for all four of them and the dsc can spend time with their sibling. He can take toddler along to hobbies and you could collect him from there on your way home.
this! And I’d also suggest they could quit their hobby, just to Dh of course. So if he brought it up again I’d use my patient voice - ‘ds can’t stay up late so the answer is for you to collect earlier so ds can have tea with all of you and go to the hobbies then I’d get him so he still gets to bed on time. That or they skip their hobbies. We’ve discussed this.’

@TheVillageElder No, put your child first and being dumped in childcare for that long isn't in their best interests given how awful the scenario apparently is!

Let's face it by your own admission at home is more relaxed than nursery because they aren't having the mental simulation that they need to help in their academic future. The positives of nursery are proven in so many studies and outweigh anyones want to sit at home and-- be dumped with mum bored out of their skulls--. I'm not sure how on earth anyone can be as naive to spout the things you have stated 😂

That's why it's offered to low income families for free from ages of two. Simply you can't recreate the benefits of nursery at home. I want my child to aspire to more from life at that. But sure shame a sm someone for needing to work (while you clearly haven't ever been in her shoes)

Interesting your not saying anything about sc being dumped at afterschool clubs 😂😂 oh the irony.

You don’t have to do any of this, OP. I hate the implication that SP’s are not allowed to set routines for their own DC, because of inherited routines of DSC.

@TheVillageElder why aren't you suggesting my husband quit work to be home with all 3?

Because your FEMALE if you don't want to be running through fields of corn with the kids, grinding beans and making homemade food from scratch then your a bad mum. Women belong only in the kitchen and at home, or the kids will be scarred for life

Why on earth would a man be expected to parent his children? That's a womens job.

Duh (sarcasm) sorry op this thread has pulled out all the loopers

Plenty of parents work around school hours for starters, so yes it's possible

Oh yes EVERY SINGLE good parent works around school hours, absolutely you are right. It's only us selfish crap ones who dare to have 9-5 jobs. Do you want my address so you can report me to the authorities?

I want to live in your fantasy land where work is optional and there are endless school hour jobs going free for every parent to take up.

You're absolutely delusional.

And don't you fucking dare tell me I don't prioritise my child because I need to work. You silly person.

Bore off @TheVillageElder

At least ops child will have a fantastic role model and won't grow up to look down on others who make different decisions than them.

No such thing as school hours when they're under school age, btw.

I wonder how many services you use outside of school hours are manned by people who also have children? The doctors you see, transport you use, shops you buy your food in. It's actually a pretty good job they don't all prioritise their children as much as little miss perfect mum Elder.

I know. Feel far sorrier for her kids than mine.

Can your DH not pick up all 3 kids on the days you work and get their dinner? Then you could arrive home in time for him to leave with the eldest two (or just take the one whose activity it is), toddler would be fed and evening more relaxed.

Let’s not turn this thread into a discussion about working mums.

I much prefer a good step mum bashing post. I love the creativity that’s gone on to hit you with another stick too OP. But it’s a bit of a reach.

The only issue is he sets off before I'd get home so he'd need to take DS with him which just leaves us with the same issue apart from then he can't even have his bath etc... Because he'd be sat in a car all evening / watching DSCs hobbies.

You're right.

No point engaging with someone who clearly spends their privileged existence under a rock.

This is such a good point.

Can you collect from hobby location on your way home from work?

Yeah I would be inclined to consider @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz suggestion. It would be easier for you, I think, to pick up a child who has already been fed and had a bit of downtime with siblings, than to get them after nursery and have to rush to do all that before bed. It also seems a bit mean of DH to get two kids from school and leave the other at nursery so the eldest can go to a club. He should get them all and work it out.

🤣 this thread went a bit bonkers!

Just to clarify @CauliWobble my comment was entirely sarcastic!

Oh yes I got thar but thank you. Great responses to some pretty out there posts!

He gets fed at nursery already, god knows why anyone would voluntarily give their kid tea on a day they pay for nursery. OP wasn’t looking for complex suggestions on how to accommodate her husband’s request, she was (quite rightly) complaining about him making it in the first place.

I don't know about ops child but at the age mine had proper tea at nursery before pick up. I literally used to do pick up, bath, chill time little snack/ milk when small and bed. I wouldn't choose picking up from a hobby they have no benefit in going to, it's no easier and it may well be massively out of ops way whereas nursery likely isn't.

God this thread is so weird, do you guys just close ranks or what? @MiddleParking It's hardly complex for a dad who presumably finishes early that day to pick up all 3 of his children instead of 2/3 of them. I would go as far to say it was normal. If my DH wanted to leave one kid in nursery for several extra hours so he could take a different one to a club, I would be really pissed off. After all he's the one suggesting his 3 children spend more time together. Sorry for attempting to see solutions instead of just agreeing that everything is unreasonable.

OP wasn’t looking for complex suggestions on how to accommodate her husband’s request, she was (quite rightly) complaining about him making it in the first place.

Exactly! The logistical gymnastics being proposed are completely missing the point.