DSS when DD is having her nappy changed

[Namechangeof2021]

I've put this here rather than on any of the main boards as I don't want an onslaught of people saying I'm horrible or that I'm implying he has nefarious intentions. I'm really not so I hope it doesn't come across that way. It isn't an attack on him, just me looking out for my DD (and maybe some unintentional projection on my part as a CSA survivor) again, I'm not saying he's planning to do anything.

I have a 3 year old DD who isn't yet toilet trained. I have noticed that DSS who is about to start secondary school always makes a point of coming over and looking when I'm changing her. He isn't discrete about it so I don't think he's trying to hide the fact.

I've raised it with dad before who thinks it's innocent childhood curiosity which is normal among siblings, and it may well be, but it makes me uncomfortable.

The bathroom is too small and awkward to change her in so It's always the living room (when the older kids aren't in there - but they happen to come in to) or the bedroom, again which they come in to. Dad seems to forget I've raised these things and will happily change her in the same room that they are already in. He'll just walk right up and stand over her.

Would I be unreasonable to have a talk with him myself and ask that he respects DD's privacy when she needs to be changed?

[quote NightOwl6]@littlemissgrumpi

I’m honestly quite shocked you’re sharing details on an open forum of your cases, I know names haven’t been mentioned but I thought cases had to be strictly confidential, I have a friend who works in a similar field to you and she’s never mentioned anything about any cases she’s dealt with.[/quote]
Cp social worker here and it's perfectly ok to reference cases as long as you never mention any details, like names and addresses etc.

Trauma is often although not always the underlying cause. And some children have witnessed horrific things. But some of the trauma I see referred to includes ordinary upsetting events such as a grandparent dying suddenly.
Children are not blank slates waiting to be written on.

[quote NightOwl6]@littlemissgrumpi

I’m honestly quite shocked you’re sharing details on an open forum of your cases, I know names haven’t been mentioned but I thought cases had to be strictly confidential, I have a friend who works in a similar field to you and she’s never mentioned anything about any cases she’s dealt with.[/quote]
That's because you know where she lives so might know locations and schools based on that. Sometimes things end up in the local press and you might work out who she was talking about.
The user in the police might not even be in the UK. A boy with sisters is suitably vague and there's no other clues that would lead to identification.

OP, how are you, did you discuss this with your DH and will take this further?

I would change her in her bedroom with the door closed as I wouldn't leave them alone together either

Would you feel the same way if it was a10 year-old girl present?

What happened @Namechangeof2021 did you and dh have a chat