Am I just being petty? (Sharing Subscriptions etc)

[PingedPotato]

We pay for Netflix. The DSC wants to have the log on so they can watch it at mums. Fair enough I guess but then I thought no hang on.. we pay for that and mum is blatantly going to watch it. Also I don't want to go to watch something and be like oh no now I have to ask DH to text DSC to ask them to log off. Also they can see what I've been watching and it makes me feel a bit like privacy being invaded knowing mum can see all the dull documentaries I like to watch.

But then part of me feels like I'm just being petty.

What do all you other step families do with subscription services like netflix?

If it was the other way round everyone would be calling dad and step mum cheeky fuckers. But oh no if mum wants to use it you best pay, don't be tight.

Exactly! I can just imagine how the thread would go and how hysterical people would be.

Lol 🤣 no I can assure you I would think it was petty whoever was being a tight arse.

It must be so shit to be any party to the overwhelming majority of blended families.

Can you actually set up pin protection on individual user profiles?????
I'm sure you couldn't when the dcs were younger.
So I can set viewing levels on their profiles, but if they wanted to they could just go into my profile and watch on there

@Bettyboop3

It's an extra £4 a month for multi devices. One whole pound a week. I think you're being petty.

You are presuming the OP can afford £4 more a month.

Some people are living within a budget and simply cannot.

@lentilsforever

It must be so shit to be any party to the overwhelming majority of blended families.

It must be so shit being subjected to people so strange and privileged that they would consider you petty and apply so much drama to the simple, normal act of not paying for another house's Netflix.

@lentilsforever

Is your dh wanting to do it?

He's dead against it. It's me who has the slight aww. Do it for the kids feeling. But then remembers the ex's previous demands...

Ok, so it's decided we're going to sign them in and PIN protect our profiles and be done with it. If we get any issues with them not logging off when we ask it's stopping and we'll change the password.

Thanks everyone for their advice! Glad to know I'm not alone thinking this is a blurry potentially boundary crossing thing!

@Chasingsquirrels

Can you actually set up pin protection on individual user profiles????? I'm sure you couldn't when the dcs were younger. So I can set viewing levels on their profiles, but if they wanted to they could just go into my profile and watch on there

Yes you can! Purely for this reason I think!

OP if boundaries are an issue, keep them high. It is okay to say no. It is okay to say ‘that’s for your mum to decide’ - at the end of the day she might not want it and no doubt there’d be another AIBU post on here that SM has forced Netflix watching on DCs at BM’s house and isn’t it awful? I'm awaiting her AIBU!

Forgot to mention she would have to give her approval first via one of the many ranty emails she likes to send.

No way would I allow the cheeky fuckers to use my netflix! The mum can get her own bleedin netflix.

@Udouhun

No way would I allow the cheeky fuckers to use my netflix! The mum can get her own bleedin netflix.

They haven't done anything wrong asking if it's possible!

@aSofaNearYou

Read and read again
Can’t make head nor tail of it

[quote lentilsforever]@aSofaNearYou

Read and read again
Can’t make head nor tail of it [/quote]
I get it

Thanks OP. I'm going to have to investigate again, as you couldn't do it several years ago when I tried. Although tbh as they are older now I probably won't bother!

Found it now 🙂 but decided I can't be bothered typing it in every time as they are older now.

@Chasingsquirrels

Found it now 🙂 but decided I can't be bothered typing it in every time as they are older now.

Yeah it's going to get annoying!

Petty. , its no extra cost to you.Tell them it's for them only. They can open their login, so their list is separate from yours.

My DD has a app on her tablet (and phone I think!) logged into my netflix account. She uses this at her Dads. Never occurred to me to log her out every time she goes to her Dad's just in case someone in her step family might watch something on my account.

It's £13.99 a month for the premium subscription. If your DC are watching all the time I don't see why you would log your DSC off when they are home. I would just log it in and leave it for them with the correct age related content.

You've said higher up you're not scrapping pennies together so I do think YABU in this case.

Poor DSC getting different treatment to the new special DC (huge eye roll). Try to remember their DD is just their dad. All his DC are special to him, or should be. I don't know why he would even entertain this.

Do you make them leave their special toys and clothes at your house too?

@Tattler2

After reading this thread, I am going to go to my parish church and light a candle of thanksgiving to St.Jude in gratitude for the SM that my children have. There is no way that she would have ever entertained thoughts of such petty behavior. Sometimes, it takes reminders like this to remind me to be grateful for the gifts in my life.

I really like my kids SM ,and this posting is making me realize that perhaps she may be the exception rather than the norm. I certainly don't know or care if my step kids use my Netflix.any place else we have a multi user account and I think at most that cost an additional 6 dollars a month.

St Jude is the patron saint of lost causes and hopeless cases (my mother spent my teenage years frequently praying to him on my behalf) if @Tattler2 likes the step mum that much St Jude might wonder why he is being dragged into it!

So for the slight derailing - totally right decision not to give the password out, not your job to pay for Netflix at someone else's house!

But this is t about the ex. It's about children.

@Sidehustle99

It's £13.99 a month for the premium subscription. If your DC are watching all the time I don't see why you would log your DSC off when they are home. I would just log it in and leave it for them with the correct age related content.

You've said higher up you're not scrapping pennies together so I do think YABU in this case.

Poor DSC getting different treatment to the new special DC (huge eye roll). Try to remember their DD is just their dad. All his DC are special to him, or should be. I don't know why he would even entertain this.

Do you make them leave their special toys and clothes at your house too?

What are you on about? Nobody is getting special treatment. Op wants to watch the Netflix she pays for.

Utter projecting bollocks

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

No it's the kids want to watch it. Nothing to do with the EX. They don't need the password. It's the same as making your own kids log off if they go for a sleepover so their friends can't watch anything on their devices.

It's really spiteful. Only ones suffering are the DSC.

[quote Sidehustle99]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

No it's the kids want to watch it. Nothing to do with the EX. They don't need the password. It's the same as making your own kids log off if they go for a sleepover so their friends can't watch anything on their devices.

It's really spiteful. Only ones suffering are the DSC.[/quote]
I think people are talking about very different things here. Leaving a tablet that is usually logged in that way at mum's is a very different thing to giving the kids the login themselves to log into potentially multiple unspecified devices, especially if they would then exceed the maximum number of viewers.