SC Bio-mum

[Spagz]

I need advice on how people deal with their SC bio-parent. I am a stepmum to a 4yo boy who I adore. We have him 50% of the week and I have been in his life for about 18 months now but his bio-mum is refusing to accept me. He’s starting primary school in two weeks and I said I will collect him from school on our days to have him but she’s called the school and told them I’m not allowed to do so. She said I’m not allowed to be apart of any part of that. I’m not allowed for sports day, I’m not allowed to ask his teachers about homework or anything. If he calls to speak to daddy then I’m not allowed to talk to him. I just don’t know how to deal with it. Any advice? Should I just backdown and do the bare minimum with him like she wants or should I try and be apart of his life like me and his dad would like?

I'd think it was odd in that context (which is obviously very different to the context op has said it in!) But I wouldn't be offended because it's factually correct.

Not in RL they don't but you have no idea what they say on anonymous internet forums.

how very eloquent!

what on earth do you require eloquence for on MN?

I can guarantee that children would find it offensive for their step mum (or girlfriend of father) to refer to their mum (who is still alive and very much part of their life) as their bio mum.

For every person who says it's offensive and disrespectful there will always be some 'I'm a better person than you' dickhead coming along and claiming it's totally inoffensive. If someone finds it offensive, it's offensive to them and they have a right to be offended.

@Finknottlesnewt

I just assume those objecting to the term ON A STEP PARENT board are just terminally thick .

As a mother and step mother I just assumed that the poster was making a statement of fact. To differentiate between a female partner of a bio father and a biological mother. It's really not rocket science but perhaps just a bit beyond the intellectual ability of some posters .

Traditionally 'bio mother/father' was a term that was to describe absent parent(s) of children that were being raised by non- bio parents, such as after being adopted ect.

It still has those connotations today and that is why some people find it jarring when it's used to describe resident mothers by step mothers or even girlfriends.

Any way it doesn't matter now after OP name fail change this morning ( they havnt been back on) and saying that they don't have him during school time - so no school pick ups anyway

Nothing like a school pick up and poor neglected child to get the masses frothing...

@Doyoumind

I can guarantee that children would find it offensive for their step mum (or girlfriend of father) to refer to their mum (who is still alive and very much part of their life) as their bio mum.

For every person who says it's offensive and disrespectful there will always be some 'I'm a better person than you' dickhead coming along and claiming it's totally inoffensive. If someone finds it offensive, it's offensive to them and they have a right to be offended.

Use your brain. Op hasnt used it in front of the children. She's used it on an anonymous internet forum. Two very different things.

It's somewhat unusual to be offended by a word used on an internet forum for clarity, with no malice intended, and obviously not aimed at the reader.

@Doyoumind

I can guarantee that children would find it offensive for their step mum (or girlfriend of father) to refer to their mum (who is still alive and very much part of their life) as their bio mum.

For every person who says it's offensive and disrespectful there will always be some 'I'm a better person than you' dickhead coming along and claiming it's totally inoffensive. If someone finds it offensive, it's offensive to them and they have a right to be offended.

Absolutely

What clarity does the 'bio' bring? Mum is perfectly clear. It's a redundant adjective which is added to try and level off the difference between a mum and a step mum. And OP has elevated herself from dad's girlfriend to step mum to boot. Even if the OP doesn't realise or accept it, there's something to be read into the terms used.