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Original poster

DSD eating all my kids pack up food

221 replies

ChocolateFlamingo · 14/07/2021 17:43

I'm getting really annoyed now. DSD is 16 and she keeps helping herself to the food I buy for my kids packed lunches for school!!
Now they don't have enough for tomorrow or Friday!!
I can't afford to keep forking out, she gets bought her own food but she stuffs it all at once and then moans that there's nothing for her to eat!!
Am I right to feel frustrated here?

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lastcall · 14/07/2021 19:29

She needs to replace it.

and her father needs to cover it until she pays him back.

mrsm43s · 14/07/2021 19:30

@moynomore

Just buy enough food for everyone. You're the parents. Imagine how she feels not having enough to eat and being told off and told to go buy her own. She's only 16.
To a point, I agree with this.

A hungry 16 year old shouldn't be made to feel bad about eating snacks in their own home. The budget for an appropriate amount of snack food for a 16 year old should probably be equal or more than the budget for the 9,7 & 3 year old put together, because they need so many calories at this age.

That said, at 16 she should understand the need for school lunch items to be kept for the next day.

I also think you have an issue with your DH not taking responsibility for providing food for his DD, or money to pay for her food.

DuchessDarty · 14/07/2021 19:31

@moynomore

I've made my DC pay for replacements before.

Wow. Really?

Yes really.

2 incidents out of many.

First was when my birthday chocolate went missing. Docked part of the value from pocket money.

2nd was me telling 16yo DD that she has to pay for a box of 6 Cornetos as she ate all 6 within a few days despite us telling her not to eat all of them. (Our freezer lockbox broke).

DD apologised and agreed with no fuss. She has some SN which means she’s particularly inclined to do this and gets a fair bit of leeway, but there has to be some consequence when it happens a lot and she’s old enough to go out and get her own. After all, in few years when sharing with others at university, I’d expect her to pro-actively replace anything of her flatmates’ that she shouldn’t have eaten.

badacorn · 14/07/2021 19:32

@moynomore

Just buy enough food for everyone. You're the parents. Imagine how she feels not having enough to eat and being told off and told to go buy her own. She's only 16.
Agree with this Of course she’s old enough to understand she needs to leave the lunch stuff alone. But she just sounds hungry Sad
DuchessDarty · 14/07/2021 19:32

I mean I’ve only got my DC to repay on two occasions out of many many occasions where they’ve eaten more than their fair share. But I’m talking chocolate, Ice cream, biscuits and crisps etc, not lunch things.

DGFB · 14/07/2021 19:33

Are you sure you’re giving her enough food? You sound like you treat her very differently to your own kids

Theunamedcat · 14/07/2021 19:41

Dejavu anyone?

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/07/2021 19:45

@DGFB

Are you sure you’re giving her enough food? You sound like you treat her very differently to your own kids
Maybe dad needs to step up.
whynotwhatknot · 14/07/2021 19:50

Jesus christ whats with all the tipttoeing about on this thread-the girls got a job shes not stupid she knows what shes doing

i wouldn t touch other peoples food i still ask dh if i can bave some of his chocolate

at 16 i asked if i wanted seomthing and i wasnt bloody ravenous either

Awkwardispute · 14/07/2021 19:59

I highly doubt she's being starved.

It'll be boredom eating.

She needs to learn to leave other people's food alone if it's designated pack up.

diddl · 14/07/2021 20:02

She's 16 she can make herself pasta/jacket potatoes.

Why is this all up to Op to sort out?

Lockable containers ffs?

She needs to do as she's bloody well told & stop eating other peoples lunches.

Selfish thing!

diddl · 14/07/2021 20:05

"at 16 i asked if i wanted seomthing and i wasnt bloody ravenous either"

Same here.

PurpleRainDancer · 14/07/2021 20:06

@aSofaNearYou

Yeah then definitely not unreasonable! Have you implemented any consequences?
Give over Hmm
mygood · 14/07/2021 20:10

this used to happen in my house all the time until I tucked the lunch items away in a box

MerryDecembermas · 14/07/2021 20:12

Buy more food...

TwinsAndTrifle · 14/07/2021 20:13

She needs to absolutely understand that the children not having lunch the next day is unacceptable. But the reason they don't, is because she's a hungry teen and there's nothing else for her to eat. So that's what you need to fix.

She sounds like she needs to eat more than she's picking out in the shop. My DS 13 does this. Does a lazy teen point at a few things he'd like (the audacity he's been dragged to the supermarket in the first place!) so I add these things, then buy a load of pasties, extra loaf, pastramis, cheese, because he eats everything he "asked" for by day 2. He's then got all this extra to make sandwiches. Buy her more to eat, not just what she points at.

walkoflifewoohoo · 14/07/2021 20:14

Just put it in a box labelled Do Not Touch

Ozanj · 14/07/2021 20:17

He dad should just pay for it. It won’t be long before your eldest is doing this (boys start earlier too) so if you crack down too hard on her and not enough on them you may ruin the relationship permanently.

User135792468 · 14/07/2021 20:19

I would have a chat and explain that you’re upset and that your dc now don’t have a drink for their lunch. Tell her to make a list of what she wants (try not to put too many limits) and give her her own box.

Can you describe a typical day of snacks?

LolaSmiles · 14/07/2021 20:22

I might be barking up the wrong tree, but id he willing to bet that she's choosing to eat all the nice treat elements from the lunchboxes and not make herself a sandwich or a slice of toast, or a wrap.

Your DP is a big problem though. He's quite happy to expect you to do more shopping rather than tell his own child to stop being greedy and stop eating the younger children's lunchbox snacks.

newomums · 14/07/2021 21:00

How did did I guess this would turn into a SM bad mum starving the child thread 😅😅

Again though the SC isn't the issue here. Where's the shaming the dad talk ?

TwinsAndTrifle · 14/07/2021 21:03

He's quite happy to expect you to do more shopping rather than tell his own child to stop being greedy and stop eating the younger children's lunchbox snacks.

Which is one thing if she's being greedy. But if she's a typical starving teen, and eats the amount that's bought for her, and is then starving, then the amount bought for her is not enough. Then eating food so the other children have no lunch the next day is unacceptable. But you fix this by providing enough that she's not so hungry that there's nothing else for her. The little ones shouldn't be left hungry. Nor should she.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/07/2021 21:07

It is disgusting you find yourself in a position of needing money to feed your children. Your partner does not sound like a responsible and caring father. He’s not stepping up for any of his kids. Including his eldest, who he’s allowing to deprive his younger children.

Reading posts like these makes me realise why people have food stolen from colleagues at work. If your dsd doesn’t learn to stop herself, she may turn into a work food thief. He really isn’t doing her any favours.

Original poster
ChocolateFlamingo · 14/07/2021 21:07

To make one thing clear. She has plenty of food. I'd never let her go hungry, when she's not at work she's just too lazy to make herself anything and I'm at work during the day too so I'm not around to.
Update though her dad has sent money to replace it, he'll have a word with her too

OP posts:
MeridianB · 14/07/2021 21:09

@TwinsAndTrifle your teen might like a trip to this place. 😁