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Original poster

DSD eating all my kids pack up food

221 replies

ChocolateFlamingo · 14/07/2021 17:43

I'm getting really annoyed now. DSD is 16 and she keeps helping herself to the food I buy for my kids packed lunches for school!!
Now they don't have enough for tomorrow or Friday!!
I can't afford to keep forking out, she gets bought her own food but she stuffs it all at once and then moans that there's nothing for her to eat!!
Am I right to feel frustrated here?

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SuperCaliFragalistic · 14/07/2021 18:10

Sounds like her dad is the problem and she is just hungry.

5zeds · 14/07/2021 18:11

Big tub with lunches food in it. Make it inconvenient to get to as well.

Your dp needs to replace it if she won’t. Nothing will change until they are inconvenienced by it.

squiglet111 · 14/07/2021 18:14

For the rest of the week can you buy the stuff on way to school so it doesn't get eaten? Or store in car?

Deff don't leave them where she can find them going forward. Nothing worse than not having enough to feed your kids packed lunch

ZenNudist · 14/07/2021 18:16

Hide it and don't buy her snacks as a punishment. She can eat fruit and toast.

Keep it locked in your car.

newomums · 14/07/2021 18:19

Oh this seems like a red herring op. Teens eat you out of house and home but your DH also isn't feeling the financial consequences of her snacking.

I would every time go ok I need you to send me over X because DSC has eaten A B lunches. No matter how much he grizzles, how little amount. Every single time.

Make him responsible for not parenting his daughter. He will soon learn to take action if he feels the consequences .

GoldDino · 14/07/2021 18:21

Is it just snacks or things like ham and cheese? Can't really hide them.

GoldDino · 14/07/2021 18:26

Are your DC your DH's too? If so why is it just down to you to buy lunches? Yes get him to pay you back for everything DSC eats.

DuchessDarty · 14/07/2021 18:27

I've got a 16 yo DC who also eats whatever is around.

My DSD also did this at a similar age if IIRC.

It's bloody annoying, especially when it's food earmarked for lunches.
I've made my DC pay for replacements before.

Get her or her father to do this and put post its on all further food that is strictly reserved for something. And buy extra that is for anyone to help themselves too.

FindingMeno · 14/07/2021 18:27

Perhaps she's a grazer when not with you and it's habit not to eat enough at mealtimes, then graze.
Could you split the money you use on her snacks and, for example, get things 3 times a week instead of once so she can't eat it all in one go?
At 16 she should understand the little ones can't go without lunch, so talk to her about how best to manage it.

DuchessDarty · 14/07/2021 18:29

And ask her/her father to go out and get the replacements so you're not inconvenienced further. That's providing you'd made it clear to her that particular food was out of bounds and there wasn't some misunderstanding.

aSofaNearYou · 14/07/2021 18:29

@TrashKitten10

Is she just hungry? Teenagers are bottomless pits and she might just be scoffing all 'her' bits and is still genuinely hungry for more. Is she getting the same snacks as them or are theirs more appealing?

I think you need to clearly separate off the bits for your children's lunch boxes and make this clear to her but talk with her about what snacks she would like providing. You could make batches of pasta or have jacket potatoes and toppings ready to go if she needs something more substantial.

Bloody hell, whole jacket potatoes and bowls of pasta sounds like a lot for snacks.
KibeththeWalker · 14/07/2021 18:32

I'd get a lockabox (or two if you need one in the fridge and one out). Put all the packed lunch stuff in there. We have one in the fridge to keep DS out of DH's chocolate stash.

Here We have the black one, because out of sight is out of mind.

DuchessDarty · 14/07/2021 18:34

Yeah we have a lockbox too for chocolate.

moynomore · 14/07/2021 18:41

I've made my DC pay for replacements before.

Wow. Really?

HaveringWavering · 14/07/2021 18:51

I've asked him if he can transfer money to replace what DSD has eaten so I can go and buy what they need for tomorrow and Friday. He's not replied yet

Do I have this straight- you need to buy food for the three children that you have jointly with your husband, but you have no money whatsoever in your joint bank account to pay for this?

I get that it is his daughter who has eaten all the food in the house. However are you saying that you have completely separate finances and he gives you money for food only when you ask for it? And that you are given so little money that you regularly run out?

Otherwise you’d obviously just buy more food from the joint account or (at worst) your housekeeping budget that contains enough to cater for emergency costs, then discuss higher contribution from him separately? I can’t get my head round his needing to transfer money right away to deal with the immediate need to buy food for tomorrow’s lunch.

thefirstmrsrochester · 14/07/2021 18:51

If she’s eating at home, spending her money at McDonald’s and still raiding the fridge for things earmarked for parked lunches then it sounds like she is hungry rather than selfish and greedy.

My 3 dc are older teens and they seem never to be full. My shopping bill is horrific however I’m shopping for 5 adults and yes they will hoover up more than their fair share of the ‘nice’ stuff however once it’s gone, it’s toast, cereal etc until the next time I go to the shops. Teenagers eat loads.

HaveringWavering · 14/07/2021 18:54

Also does this mean that you have zero left from your own salary to buy the food now?

BlankTimes · 14/07/2021 18:54

Another vote for Lockbox.

hummasandcondensedmilk · 14/07/2021 18:55

At 16 I was living alone, buying and cooking all my own food! I think it is quite mean of her to steal her siblings pack lunch food. I wouldn't have dreamt of that even when living at home....!
Think her dad needs to sit down and have a talk with her.

girlmom21 · 14/07/2021 18:59

Put all the lunch things in one place and tell her that cupboard is off limits.
Are you sure she's getting enough food if she's constantly hungry?

hummasandcondensedmilk · 14/07/2021 19:00

I would actually be tempted to tell her she needs to replace it to be honest. Ideally her dad but I wouldn't hesitate. She stole the food, knowing it was for her siblings lunch box. They now don't have enough. From your You've said you've told her before.

moynomore · 14/07/2021 19:08

Just buy enough food for everyone. You're the parents. Imagine how she feels not having enough to eat and being told off and told to go buy her own. She's only 16.

DiamondBright · 14/07/2021 19:10

Has your DH spoken to her mother, I wonder if there's a bigger problem with food? Living across two homes can delay things being picked up, it's easier to hide a problem.

I have a 17 year old who's a good eater but she has a snack after school then dinner and rarely anything later.

MrsPeacockInTheLibrary · 14/07/2021 19:12

You need a lockable container that goes in the fridge. It solves it on one level, the wider question of parently and choices can be had then.

funinthesun19 · 14/07/2021 19:21

She needs to be told firmly that it’s not her food. It’s stuff for her sibling’s packed lunches.

Lockable containers and/or put them somewhere where she won’t find them or it’s real inconvenience for her to get to them. Are there some particular things she doesn’t like that your DC do? That might put her off too.