I find those “he needs to live too” comments laughable too! I’ve never heard of a NRP going hungry to feed their child, conversely I’ve heard of many stories where RP (usually mums) are literally going hungry in order to keep a roof over the children’s heads!
Yep!
And I've been one of those Rp's
Ex has never gone without his whole life! He'd be bitching to me about paying less than £200 a month maintenance while posting on social media about Florida holidays and brand new cars!
The sooner society stops making excuses for deadbeat parents doing the absolute bare minimum, the sooner children will have better outcomes!
Absolutely
It was my DP that brought the subject up not my whisperings but thanks for the concern
We only have your word for that, and considering your stance on thread you're hardly encouraging him to step up and be a decent dad/ex/co-parent are you?
his ex earns significantly more
Irrelevant!
And cms amounts are less than 20% of his earnings usually. Plus I'm betting he uses your dc for the reduction?
Also irrelevant what your ex pays you. Yea he's being a shit deadbeat dad but that doesn't mean your current partner should be to his dd
what if your ex loses their job. This is already taken into account by the system and again not relevant to the current situation
You really need to adjust your view on this. The most important thing is he has a good relationship with his dd which is very much supported by a good co-parenting relationship with his ex.
Don't interfere with that as it's really none of your business when it comes down to it.
As I say I was pretty fortunate with dds stepmum, aside from the affair she's a decent person. My ex's shitty behaviour has absolutely nothing to do with her being in his ear as I've seen happen many a time with others. If anything in the early stages she made things significantly easier. Unfortunately ex reached a point he ignored her good advice and support in this way. But even when ex was not in contact at all with dd she stayed in contact with us both and apologised on his behalf on a number of occasions but they were empty apologies as they weren't from him and his behaviour didn't change. My ex parents in law also stayed in touch to their credit. They are totally ashamed of how he's behaved as it's absolutely not how he was raised to. His dad had been married before he and his mum married and he had an excellent relationship with his ex and paid decent maintenance without being made to inc still paying half the mortgage until the youngest from that marriage was 18. His ex lived literally around the corner from him and his kids from that marriage frequently and easily went between both homes with no formal contact arrangements in place. A much happier and healthier setup for everyone. Even when his ex fell ill towards the end of her life he'd run errands and check in with her. Hell she was at our wedding! Ex and his siblings referred to her as "aunty".
I know the mn cliché is that step parents get "bashed" but quite honestly I think it's mainly because so many have appalling attitudes towards their partners/spouses ex's and even the children and interfere in contact and maintenance arrangements some of which have been working perfectly smoothly before they came along and stuck their neb in!
Want to be a good step parent? Don't frustrate the relationship between your partner/spouse and their child nor the co-parenting relationship. It's really nothing to do with you.
Cm in this country is in the majority of cases woefully underpaid IF it's paid at all - enforcement is shite! We really need a massive overhaul of the system.
Frankly that nrp's can get a reduction due to their step children they're living with is ridiculous! Those children's parents are responsible for them not the step parents.
Really makes me mad!