Bedroom situation HELP

[Newmum2020F]

Hello everyone.

I need some advice on a bedroom situation my DP has an 8 year old daughter that stays with us every other weekend and half the holidays.

We have just moved into our first home after having a baby 8 weeks ago it's a small 2 bed flat but it's ours and it's home!

So unfortunately I haven't yet experienced doing up my son's nursery because my DSD bed and wardrobe are currently in their the room is a box room and very small my partner is talking about putting in a partition so they can have half the room each.

Personally I think this is a little unfair my son would have the tiniest space in his room and the other side wouldn't get used also when DSD comes she does not use the room nor play with any toys or even get dressed she stays in her pjs unwashed all weekend (I don't get involved up to her dad to encourage)

DSD has her own room at home with a double bed and massive TV which she always reminds us of that she prefers to be honest even she doesn't want the bedroom it's my DP that wants her to have it.

I think he is trying to make her feel at home here by giving her the room as we have had to go to court for contact after mum stops and starts for reasons I can't even explain because I don't understand.

I think I would maybe feel differently if she used the room and appreciated it but she goes to bed around 11pm (stays up till 4am at home so DP don't put her to bed because he don't wanna upset her (again not for me to be involved) and wakes up at 7am so I don't see the point in her having half the room.

I've even suggested she have half our bedroom but please just let our son have his nursery this is my first child and my DP has already experienced doing up a nursery for his DD

I asked if she could have a pull out bed for the weekend and then I can neatly put all her stuff away until she returns I would never let her see me put it away and it will always be up when she's here with her clothes laid out and clean and bed ready and made.

My partner thinks I'm being harsh and won't really discuss the room situation he keeps calling the room his daughters and I'm heartbroken because I thought it would be for my son.

I didn't think I'd need the room yet but as you know babies have so much stuff and I'm cramming his things in the living room and our bedroom because DP daughter is using the 2nd bedroom.

Would I be unreasonable to take her bed down and wardrobe replace it with a fold away bed (super comfortable I also brought an extra thin mattress to go on top of the one it already has) and replace the wardrobe with a rail so I can hang her clothes and then put them in a storage box when she goes until she returns?

Thanks in advance

@Witchymclovely, you are poorly back pedalling.

You said the room was an office and you purposely licked a small 3rd bedroom. You can't those words away.

It is shocking that your husband couldn't challenge that nasty behaviour. He's lost daughter as a result, but I guess not as worthy as small office room!

That’s exactly what I said - resident children sometimes have to come first because that’s the practical realities of the situation.
Your previous post just made you sound like a snow queen bitch step mother of Disney’s best fantasy’s

You read what you wanted to read. No back pedalling, you always see the child’s point of view , never the adults who make decisions for both children. I didn’t lose a daughter! Good god I gained my sanity when I got her out of my life. My partner her father always try’s his hardest to see the best in her and has never given up on her. The room was never given to her because it would have been cruel to take it away. But just like you and just like her mother you only think of the non resident child.

You’ve bought a 2 bedroom with 2 children, they would need to share.

You should have either bought a 3 bedroom or not had children with a man who already had a child. However as that’s done and your in this situation I have sympathy for you, I wouldn’t want to rob my child of a bedroom for a child that doesn’t stay frequently. There isn’t much you can do about it now though. Hopefully in a few years you can but a bigger place?

For such an 'amazing' dad he doesn't have much contact does he. This poor little girl. Sounds like both her parents have let her down. She's going to be harmed longer term by all the drama and neglect rather than the sleeping arrangements. Sorting out proper custody and proper care should be a bigger focus not decorating a baby nursery