Holidaying with my kids only?

[Bookaholic73]

I am living with my partner, my 2 teens and his 2 kids who are under 12.
I said to my other half that I’d really like to go on holiday with my kids.
He thinks I’m being unreasonable, and that we should all go together.
What do you think?

I think its perfectly reasonable, and id probably be telling the dp that hes welcome to his opinion, but youre going anyway, and hes welcome to take his on holiday by himself at some point too

OP, do you and your oh ever holiday just the two of you? If what he craves is a more adult relaxing holiday, could you afford a week away just the two of you?

Oh and I are fortunate that we can afford for him to go with his kids, me with mine, go all together (usually staying with family abroad so cheap) but also take time away just the two of us. We make many compromises financially to be able to afford it and always look for good deals. It works great.

We never holiday just the 2 of us, although we do have a night away 4 or 5 times a year.
It’s difficult to get someone to look after the SC for a whole week.

But I would love a whole week just the 2 of us, and I’m sure he would too.

I think it sounds fine OP.
You should spend some one to one time with your dc sometimes and he should do the same.
It is good for both sets of dc.

I completely get that you want to spend quality time with just your kids.

If you go I think it's really important that DH also has an equal amount of time and money to spend on a holiday with just him and his kids. Would this then leave enough budget and annual leave to have a family holiday with everyone? I think it comes down to budget and annual leave , its important to share both fairly.

If you go I think it's really important that DH also has an equal amount of time and money to spend on a holiday with just him and his kids

This isn’t OP’s responsibility and is irrelevant to whether she can take her children on holiday

Why is it my responsibility to make sure he has equal money to spend on his kids? That’s his responsibility, not mine!

Exactly, OP. You've already said he had about equal spending money. It is not your responsibility to ensure he spends it on his kids.

Wtf? Why is it the OP’s responsibility that her partner has sufficient money to spend on his kids???

Could you imagine a reverse thread where the partner to a NRP father complained about the father holidaying alone with his children? And then said that she also felt it was unfair that he hadn’t provided equal money for her children to take holidays with her?

She’d be crucified by posters here!!! There are so many double standards on these boards it is mind boggling.

Thank you everyone (or most). It’s not my responsibility to make sure he looks after his money so that he can take his kids away.

He is chatting about taking his kids camping for a weekend in the summer, so they will get a holiday of sorts.

Just noticed you get a night away with DH bur childcare for SC makes anything else difficult. Does this mean they no longer have contact with the NRP? xxx

They have sporadic contact with their mother.

I think you are entitled to live your life as you see fit and not answer to anyone else. Go on holiday with your kids and DH. Will the step kids get the benefit of a holiday with their mum? Bet your kids won’t be invited on that, so makes it fair they both get a holiday with their parent to themselves. Book another holiday/week end away for you all. Hate how people get so judgemental on these forums. Live your life how you want to live it.

I have two Dcs 11 and 14 and DP has three all under 10. We do a weekend holiday park all together and intake my children away by myself every year too. He could do the same with his kids - he can afford to - but chooses not to. They do have a nice holiday (abroad, cruises) with their mum at least once a year. My DCs are older and no longer interested in soft play / craft activities etc, eat different food, and so on, so a long weekend together is just about enough! Mine also rarely see their dad so they don’t get holidays with him.

In any stepfamily situation, it is easy to find tons of things that are “unfair” - many of them unavoidable - if you choose to. I just feel I have to be comfortable with my choices, and with explaining them to my children.