Can bio mum do this?

[Climbmountains911]

Tonight my partner has been honest with BIo mum and told her he took there daughter to my house which she hasn't allowed to do by her rules, there's no court orders or anything. She's not happy now and is saying he has to stay at hers until she can trust him again and will FaceTime him randomly when he has them overnight.
they was going through mediation but she backed down and admitted she couldn't afford it and came to a mutual agreement but now she's changed her mind yet again. She also took him to CMS which you know, she is within her right to do.
Mediation has said to SO because he has PR he can do what he wants with the kids and meet who he wants (aslong as it don't cause danger).
im just sick of the dramas now, I'm so close to ending this crap. I said until this crap is sorted I'm not being part of this.

Is that aimed at me? I’ve not had a pop at the op about her use of Bio Mum. Everyone knows what it means and it’s harmless, so I agree people should just calm down.

She didn't mean any harm and has learned from this.

Till the next thread where she uses it again as she has done repeatedly on previous threads.

‘Bio Mum’?

Everyone knows what it means and it’s harmless

In your opinion. Lots of other people feel differently. But hey ho, we should be silent or be labelled ‘bitter’ and ‘vipers’ and other such nonsense because what we think doesn’t matter?

@Rainbowhairdontcare it was me who mentioned the acronym BM - I've often seen it on forums where posters are using bio mum (written like that) and BM on the same thread in reference to the same person. That's not to say that on other forums BM doesn't exclusively mean baby mama - I've never heard of that term so if I wrote my earlier post again I'd say I'd seen bio mum often used on other forums. It doesn't mean I'm mistaken with the point I was trying to make.

@HeckyPeck

I hope you lot never happen upon a particular site where stepkids are referred to as skids. That’s really get you frothing at the mouth.

I might have a fit of the vapours 😅

This is taken an odd turn, I've only ever known BM to refer to bowel movement...

Do you have any direct contact with the mum? If so I would cut that out completely to remove some drama.

Can you not stay at his house when he has his children? Or even not stay together overnight at all till it is all sorted out.

The mums idea of him staying at her house is ridiculous, as is facetiming randomly when he has the kids.

Just dropping in on the standard MN stepmum thread to add:

Bio mum??????!!!!!! This must now be derailed at this inconceivably disgusting term! (Loses head, does lap of garden with hands flailing in the wind)

And the obligatory, you knew he had kids when you met him.

And the quintessential, OP... were you the other woman?

As you were...

@Courtney555 good summary. Can anyone now think of any reasons why the OP (you know, the person who came on here needing help) might have not returned since Thursday night, because it beats me.

I can think of several reasons. But I'm not sure that speculation on that point is going to add much.

For what it’s worth I don’t think bio mum is harmless, we are already experiencing a shocking erosion of women’s rights and terms like this and “gestational carrier” just add to this.

But I do think the mum is being a little unreasonable. It makes me wonder if OP was in fact the OW and that’s why they don’t live together and the mum has strong feelings about the situation - although pure speculation here and I’m sorry if I’ve read into the situation correctly.

It seems a real shame for the children that the situation is so messy and petty, I hope you can all come to a resolution between you and focus on them instead of each other.

@Dollymixture22 it's in the step parent forum and explained in the OP.
HTH

What is 'this crap' you are so tired of? It's actually a child. Your partner's child. If you don't want a relationship with a man who has a child then do call it off. That's your choice.
Also, why are you referring to the child's mother as Bio Mum. She is her Mum. Bio Mum is a completely unnecessary phrase- but some people do use it when they are trying to make a clear distinction between the Mum and a step mum. Who is the step mum you are trying to distinguish the mum from?
Your DP CAN introduce people to his daughter as he sees fit. You would hope that he would be thoughtful and sensitive in the way he goes about it. So, yes, it might be within his rights to take the child to yours ... but is it in the child's best interests? Is it necessary? Is it helpful? Or is it just a convenience for the dad so he doesn't have to parent on his own?Those are the questions you should both be asking yourselves.

Sorry sux, I saw another poster explain about step parenting forums but hadn't seen the op provide any explanation for her use of the term.

I may have missed a post,

I still think you were unnecessarily agressive.

I tried to address ops original query by advising she leaves he arguing to her boyfriend and his ex, I think OP is in a very vulnerable state and can do without all this nonsense between her boyfriend and his children’s mum. She doesn’t live with the boyfriend so can distance Herself from it,

Bio mum is as diminishing as cis woman. Neither mum nor woman require the prefix given.

Bellasblankexpression

But I do think the mum is being a little unreasonable.

Only if you view it from the viewpoint of her lazyarse ex. He doesn't live with the OP, has his children only twice a month, and can't be bothered seeing them on his own for those two days. In the ex-wife's place I'd be kicking up as well, and want him to give his children his full attention for the tiny amount of time that he has them.

@Juells true. That’s a very good point.

It may not be harmless but so many peoe have examined the issue at great length while ignoring the issue Op was raising. There's no point hundreds of people saying the same thing. The point has been well and truly made. Shame the same attention wasn't given to actually supporting the Op in her issue. That's why she hasn't come back, I suspect. This kind of repetitive badgering when someone makes a mistake is what puts so many people off asking questions on here.

Shame the same attention wasn't given to actually supporting the Op in her issue.

What are her issues though? Her 'D'P's ex had to take him to CMS to get child support. Her 'D'P has his child (children) twice a month, but hauls her round to his GF's instead of spending time with her.

No. A simple read of the opening post shows that her issue is the reaction of the mum to her do bringing his child round to hers when he has her. OP said CMS isn't the issue. It's the drama from the mum that is difficult.

OP has not returned.

Yet again a step mother comes for help and advice and is treated like shit by certain members.

It's time MN stepped on the vipers, they aren't clever or funny. Just pathetic.

And as for (days later) bitching about the use of BM - well get over yourselves. It's used on other forums, just scroll on by.

Unless you enjoy making people unhappy, which I'm beginning to believe some members actually do. Sickos.

The term BM makes me unhappy. Why do my feelings matter less than the OPs? Is it really too much to ask to be referred to as my child’s mum? The term may well be used on other forums. That there is at least one forum that widely and correctly discredits the use of the term in relation to step parenting is the reason some of us use this forum and not others.