University expenses dilemma

[Iwonder08]

Dear All,

I would appreciate your opinion on the dilemma.

My husband of 3 years has 2 sons, 16 and 19, we have a newborn together.
19yo DSS will start uni in September.
Strangely enough neither my DH nor DSS ever tried to actually calculate the student dept DSS will have after graduating considering both uni fees and a maintenance loan. Both DSS and DH thought it is unlikely he will go to uni due to having bad grades, but 1 uni accepted him with all Cs.
Now DH is debating whether he should pay for DSS's accommodation (£6k/year) in order to reduce his student debt.
Child maintenance he pays now is quite high, it will be reduced a bit when SDD starts uni. The reduction is significantly less than £6k/year he is considering for the student accommodation.
£6k/year is technically possible, but will leave no disposable income for DH which means all the unplanned/emergency expenses, holidays, realistically more than 50% of the childcare costs when I go back to work in several months will have to be covered by me. We didn't go through the details yet, it all came very sudden yesterday.
I have never been in the situation before, my parents haven't supported me through uni, I had jobs. I honestly don't know if it is reasonable approach and should be expected or is my DH is reacting this way due to this unexpected place at uni when he didn't have high expectations before..

*be in

No brightfuture, you haven't understood. I was replying to a PP who said that their dd got the minimum maintenance loan. The minimum maintenance loan is 4100. You get this amount if your household earns over 60k. The pp said that her dd couldnt cover her accommodation with this, despite a basic room (really?) so was having to use an inheritance and work for 60 hours a week in the holidays.

If your child only gets the minimum amount that means you have a household income of 60k or more.

If i earned 60k+ I would be expected to contribute roughly 5k a year to make the minimum loan up to the 9k maximum.

If you bring in 60k you should be able to afford at least some of this.

Can’t your husband give him the difference that he will no longer pay to his ex to his son? Therefore it will be no difference for your monthly outgoings?

I agree with you about that I really do. On that type of money it’s much easier to afford. If I was earning that much I would definitely budget in more to help my child through uni.

All I’m saying is that a family on a lower income can’t provide as much as that. Especially if younger children are still dependent on them.

The figures in Scotland are different, the maximum you can get if your parents earn more than £36k in total is £4750. Under that there are bursaries at varying levels that will make it up to £7500 or thereabouts. So students are expected to get topped up by parents and probably also get work on not exactly spectacular family income. This is regardless of how many other DC there are and whether they are also in uni or whatever.

If you are on a lower income your child will be able to borrow more.

notbeingrobbed

Get a job? Go to a uni near home and commute?

Eg my niece can borrow 9k maintenance because my sister is unemployed. Her accommodation is 5.5k so she will have 3.5k to live on which is plenty. She works in the summer but not in term time.

(Sister is single parent)

If you are on a lower income your child will be able to borrow more.

And that’s fine. I thought you were suggesting paying a lot on top of that! I’d still help wherever I can, but only what I can afford.

@JoanMavisIcecreamGirl DS earner £2k in the holidays. Still a gap. He goes to a very good uni. Personally I’d rather he went to the best uni possible and got the best degree he can. I am investing in his future. His father chooses not to do so.

Thats great notbeingrobbed for you and your son but not everyone can afford to do that and some students have to work more than just in the summer.

Tbh 2 of my friends went to uni (same age as me same school year) "good" universities and apparently desirable degrees. They both earn less than me.

I dont see uni as this thing you "need" to do and actually i wish id learnt a trade because all my well off friends are tradesmen/women

If ds wants to be a doctor id say great get yourself off to uni and id support him if i could but if he got 3 cs at alevel and went to do a degree for the sake of it id be asking him to rethink it in favour of an apprenticeship or similar.

What type of apprenticeship? What will you do if he grows up to love poetry and literature and can't think of anything he'd rather do than study it? What if he is so academic he gets to oxbridge where he's not allowed a term time job? What if he cant think if anything worse than being a plumber?

@NotBeingRobbed
Yes, he should pay for his son. I’ve paid for my son’s accommodation because there is no other way he could make up the gap between the £3k maintenance loan and £10k costs. He has a loan for fees. His dad chooses to pay nothing but I believe in investing in my son. There is a definite implication in the government funding that parents will pay. How else to make up that £7k gap at a very academic uni where part time jobs are not encouraged?
Maybe your DP should have considered all these costs before choosing to have a third child later in life?
Clearly you earn more than the OP does. And as your son went to an 'academic' uni, you must have expected him to do so. The OPs son will get a maximum maintenance loan so will be in amuch better position financially than your son. The OP has also said he will continue to pay cma whilst he is at Uni, so is still contributing. Your final snipe regarding having another child is just plain nasty. Are you really saying people should only have children if they will be able to afford to pay for them to go to university 18 years after they are born?
Oh, and it's utter bollocks about the part time working. My DD went to a very prestigious uni, for four years. Worked part time throughout her extremely rigorous course, got a first class degree and is now working equally hard whilst studying part time for her Masters. It's called having a work ethic and not automatically expecting someone else to subsidise you when you're an adult.

3k maintenance loan?
10k accommodation costs?

He should pay what you can afford, but in honesty student debt isn't like regular debt, it won't stop you getting a mortgage etc and you only pay it back when earning a certain amount, and even then it's a small percentage.

So I wouldn't worry about paying the full amount, if he has enough in loans etc to cover it then just contribute what he can.

It's not utter bollocks
Although plenty of students do work, some find uni coursework very time consuming and don't necessarily find it easy to get parttime work. Good for your dd, she's not typical, I hope you realise?

brownie did you not read my post? If he does well at alevel and has an actual career in mind, fine. If hes going to uni because his mates are and because he doesnt want to work for 3 years, not fine.

All of her peers had jobs at Uni, apart from those whose parents were really wealthy. So it was the norm. It also had a positive impact when she started applying for GTPs. Every potential employer raised the issue of working whilst at Uni. She got offered GTPs with all of the big 5 accountancy firms.

Ds will want a job, but i wouldnt expect him to get one to literally pay his rent. He can get a job to pay for extra lifestyle!

Will you pay his rent when hes finished uni too?

No, but if i have any spare cash he's welcome to it!

Why? Don't you want him to learn to stand on his own two feet?

What self respecting adult would even take their parents spare cash unless they were in desperate need?!

I'm not even going to have this conversation with you joan because you are a walking mumsnet cliche.