University expenses dilemma

[Iwonder08]

Dear All,

I would appreciate your opinion on the dilemma.

My husband of 3 years has 2 sons, 16 and 19, we have a newborn together.
19yo DSS will start uni in September.
Strangely enough neither my DH nor DSS ever tried to actually calculate the student dept DSS will have after graduating considering both uni fees and a maintenance loan. Both DSS and DH thought it is unlikely he will go to uni due to having bad grades, but 1 uni accepted him with all Cs.
Now DH is debating whether he should pay for DSS's accommodation (£6k/year) in order to reduce his student debt.
Child maintenance he pays now is quite high, it will be reduced a bit when SDD starts uni. The reduction is significantly less than £6k/year he is considering for the student accommodation.
£6k/year is technically possible, but will leave no disposable income for DH which means all the unplanned/emergency expenses, holidays, realistically more than 50% of the childcare costs when I go back to work in several months will have to be covered by me. We didn't go through the details yet, it all came very sudden yesterday.
I have never been in the situation before, my parents haven't supported me through uni, I had jobs. I honestly don't know if it is reasonable approach and should be expected or is my DH is reacting this way due to this unexpected place at uni when he didn't have high expectations before..

[YobaOljazUwaque]

There is absolutely no point putting in money to reduce student loan amount unless you can afford to pay 100% of fees and maintenance or unless DSS is destined for a very high earning career.

If he ends up in a bog standard graduate level job, starting with a salary circa £25k and gradually increasing to c£50k by retirement - he will pay exactly the same in loan repayments whether he accumulates £30k or £50k of debt. Repayments are based on income, not the amount of debt.

What it is worth doing is helping make up the shortfall between the amount of maintenance loan available and the actual cost of a minimum basic student lifestyle. Get DSS to promise not to take up any commercial debt (banks offering interest-free overdrafts and credit cards are a real danger as they set a young adult up to have permanent debt they don't expect to pay off) - as a condition of this support, and let him take out the maximum standards student loan.

OR if you can afford it, replace the entire amount of the available student loan plus the maintenance loan plus a bit extra to top up - and the effect is that you make them that little bit wealthier throughout the next 30 years with no student loan deduction from salary at all.

If you can't afford that then you are better off saving your money and giving it to him when he needs a car or mortgage deposit of contribution to wedding etc. Or helping him out with monthly expenses when he's early in his career and not earning enough to make ends meet.

[VivaLeBeaver]

I think he and dss need to sit down and work money out on a monthly basis. So how much loan does he get, how much is rent, bills, phone, travel, food, some money for socialising. Then see if his loan covers this and if not what the shortfall is. Depending how much the shortfall is then make the gap up.

But encourage dss to get a job so don’t be too generous. Remember students generally are skint. My dd is off to uni and has a Ted Baker level of taste and won’t set foot in Primark. I keep telling her she will have to lower her standards now!

[Willyoujustbequiet]

Of course he should pay

And for those saying no due to the impact on younger children then perhaps the costs of raising existing children should have been thought of before having more children?

[Iwonder08]

@8by8- I completely agree with you, if it was my son I would discourage him from going to uni in this situation. Also uni offered him only foundation year option meaning he has to study for 3 rather than 4 years.
I would go via apprentice route but he is not my son and it is not my place to say it. DH is very proud of him for going to uni.

[BrownDocMartens]

Firstly, he needs to check .gov.uk for the correct figures. 7.5k is the max maintenance loan if you are living at home. It is nearer 10k for out of London and over 11k if your university is in London. If his rent is 6k he will need every penny of it. Don’t under estimate all the additional costs - all his food, fuel bills, broadband, bus passes, text books etc. It is likely your DH will need to help out a lot anyway before the loan comes in (not till the end of Sept) by which time you will already have had to pay rent in advance, deposit, all the equipment he needs. Sounds like DSS is going to need to learn about budgeting pretty quickly too. We are 2 years in now (also 6K rent but minimum loan) and it is never ending, even with DS having a job.

[bluebury]

There is no point putting money in to reduce the loan. He'll pay the same back out of his monthly wages regardless of whether he's borrowed £1.5k or £7k.

I imagine your DSS will just take both the loan and the handout meaning he'll have £13.5k tax free to live off a year. With the likelihood in first year and he'll only pay student accommodation costs for 38-40 weeks of the year (assuming he's in uni run accommodation).

Plus if you consider he'll be off for summer, able to work and being supported by his mum/dad for 12 weeks a year he'd have something like £335 a week to live off term time which is more that a lot of working adults!

They need to sit down, work out the finances and give him what he needs which is likely much less than £6k.

[sluj]

We top up our DSs loan to the level of the maximum one and he does fine with that. There is no need to provide more unless they are living in very high cost accommodation.

[Iwonder08]

I have double checked, he can get a maximum loan of £8700, his accommodation comes to £5200

[M0RVEN]

So your husband will increase the money he gives to DS1. But you will have to cover his share of costs for DC3.

In that case, it’s YOU who is giving the extra money to DS1 and not your husband. You might as well just hand the lad the extra £2k ( or whatever it is ) yourself and at least you get the credit for it.

I bet your husband will go off the idea if you put it like that.

[M0RVEN]

Is that his hall fees? In that case they will included all utility costs, WiFi etc.

I’m guessing that’s not in London or the south east of England .

[8by8]

So he’ll have £3.5k for food and essentials even if he doesn’t get a part time job. Assuming his terms are 40 weeks total that means he has £87.50 to feed one person each week of term time. I think that’s actually ok, and he can work to top that up.

[M0RVEN]

Remember his dad will still have to pay some child support to the mum, assuming that DS1 will still live with her for Most of the other 22 weeks of the year he’s not at uni.

It’s not fair to assume that a 19 year old will save some of the money his dad gives him to give to his mum.

Of course if he lives with you when he’s not at uni then it works the other way.

[Browniebronze]

That is plenty! He won't need anything else.

[NotBeingRobbed]

There is no obligation to pay any child support for uni students. My ex doesn’t - the charmer. But I do think anyone who already has teenagers and then has a third child should have thought about his ongoing obligations to his existing children. Yes, he should fund uni for the baby too, when it comes to it. But children all have two parents, don’t they? Both should contribute. OP is being the wicked step mum here.

[NotBeingRobbed]

£5,200 is cheap for halls. Very cheap.

[bluebury]

I'd say £3.5k left over for food, phone bill, partying, etc is plenty.

That's about £100 disposable income for each week he'll be at uni. 52 weeks minus 3 weeks Christmas, 2 weeks Easter and 12weeks summer.

I get that your husband wants to help out so maybe he could suggest paying his phone bill, for a weekly/monthly food shop, or for any equipment he needs.

[EmmaGrundyForPM]

I think the way most parents approach it is to look at what the child reasonably needs to live on, the child takes out the maximum loan they are entitled to and parents pay the difference.

In our sons case, we felt that it was fair that be lived on approximately £8k a year, which was his accommodation costs plus £80 a week (all utility bills were included in his accommodation). He was entitled to the minimum loan due to our income so we topped it up to £8k. That's what most of our friends did as well. Ds also works during term time and in holidays so earns extras for travel etc

If your Dss is entitled to the maximum loan then he won't need much at all to top up. I really dont think your dh should do this. Most students will be living on about £8k so your dss will not be any different to his friends.

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Will he pay his fees out of that loan too?

[bluebury]

@NotBeingRobbed
Really?
In Brighton which is one of the most expensive cities in the uk that's the going rate. Its about £140 a week but you only pay for 38 weeks a year. This is for an en-suite single occupancy room as well so not the lowest end.

[Iwonder08]

DH is already paying for the phone bill and will continue to pay. The halls of residence cost does include all the utility bills and broadband

[NotBeingRobbed]

Yes, really. DS’s halls in first year were £9,500 (catered) - in a town with no real alternatives. Second year accommodation was £2k cheaper but no food. He needed a room there or couldn’t study. So £10k without any money for going out etc!

[Siablue]

I do think there are some mean spirited comments on this thread. Of course your DH is proud of his son for getting into uni. 3 Cs are very respectable grades and he will probably have a better lifetime earnings with a degree than without one.
I do agree that there is no benefit in giving money so he doesn’t need to get a loan as this won’t make a difference. He doesn’t need to make a massive contribution but it would be nice to give something as there are costs in going to uni. Could he buy him a lap top for his studies or some things to take with him to halls. If he is in catered halls he could pay towards his meals. Students often struggle with budgeting so making a payment like that be a big help.

[Iwonder08]

In terms of other contributions like laptop etc.. DSS has a laptop that costs about 1k, the most expensive phone you can find and whatever else he needs for uni will be paid for.
My concern was an ongoing financial commitment of that size for at least 4 years for DSS1 and potentially overlapping with DSS2 University support too.

[NotBeingRobbed]

whatever else he needs for uni will be paid for

I suppose he needs a room!

[Fourcandlesx]

Oh please please listen to the posters who have taken the time to explain this. It's easy to make a mistake that will necessarily cost you a lot of money.
I read you question almost that your husband was thinking of giving him money so he could reduce the amount his son needed to borrow. No, please don't do this! As people have said the repayments depend on your income and not the loan amount. His loan is sufficient to cover accommodation and leave over £80 a week for living expenses. The grant / loan system is there to ensure everyone has access uni. As you have read on here, some students get a much smaller loan amount because it is means tested on the parents income. In those situations then yes, there will be a shortfall that will need to be made up somehow by the parents or by some other means. In your situation he is eligible for the maximum amount and shouldn't need any additional money. I appreciate your husband may want to give him some but it's fairly standard practice to take the maximum you can from the loan system. It's what it's there for! Good luck 😊