University expenses dilemma

[Iwonder08]

Dear All,

I would appreciate your opinion on the dilemma.

My husband of 3 years has 2 sons, 16 and 19, we have a newborn together.
19yo DSS will start uni in September.
Strangely enough neither my DH nor DSS ever tried to actually calculate the student dept DSS will have after graduating considering both uni fees and a maintenance loan. Both DSS and DH thought it is unlikely he will go to uni due to having bad grades, but 1 uni accepted him with all Cs.
Now DH is debating whether he should pay for DSS's accommodation (£6k/year) in order to reduce his student debt.
Child maintenance he pays now is quite high, it will be reduced a bit when SDD starts uni. The reduction is significantly less than £6k/year he is considering for the student accommodation.
£6k/year is technically possible, but will leave no disposable income for DH which means all the unplanned/emergency expenses, holidays, realistically more than 50% of the childcare costs when I go back to work in several months will have to be covered by me. We didn't go through the details yet, it all came very sudden yesterday.
I have never been in the situation before, my parents haven't supported me through uni, I had jobs. I honestly don't know if it is reasonable approach and should be expected or is my DH is reacting this way due to this unexpected place at uni when he didn't have high expectations before..

Surely parents with reasonable means can be expected to put SOME money toward children's education. The cost of university education both in the U.S. and the UK has risen much higher than it was in the past, so it isn't fair to compare what students paid back in the day. As far as childcare costs go--yes, childcare for babies is also expensive. Having university students and babies at the same time can result in a time of life when one is financially strapped. But "not having disposible income" does not mean broke. You can afford it. It's so unbelievably little. Having said that, if the student does not perform, I would not hesitate to yank it, either.

18 year olds are not children, they are adults. University is not a right and if an adult decides they want it they should get a job and earn money for it.

And will you treat their little brother the same way when he goes to Uni?

The honest answer is no you won't - will you then give the youngest siblings the same in cash?

I think the pp asking whether he really wants to go to Uni and what he expects out of it are on the right track.

Assuming he really does want to go (as opposed to him not being able to think of anything better) then he gets full grant and your DH can top up to an pre-explained amount that is realistic and affordable.

Does the 16 yo have a non-uni plan or is it still open-ended?

Why will your DH’s maintenance only be slightly reduced? Won’t it be halved?

@Iwonder08
It's been a while since you started the thread...but as DSS mum is unemployed...he qualifies for a bursary which he doesn't have to pay back.

He should apply directly to his Uni for this.

I think he should be getting an 8k loan based on his mum's income. That plus a bursary is fine.