Will they ever accept me?

[niteandfog]

My boyfriend and I got together via an affair (were not proud of it) but well what's done is done. His children know how we got together and the DS absolutely hates me his DD seems ok/ambivalent about the whole thing. I've told him at last his DS will never ever accept me and that we can kiss the "blended family" dream good bye... I just would to here any stories where the kids actually ended up accepting the ex AP as an actual step parent.

They do not have to see you Im afraid. Nor accept you.
My biological father had affairs, I haven't seen or spoken to him in over 20 years. The damage he did wasn't fixable. There are consequences for your actions, this blended family dream in this situation is just that a dream. His children I expect will never forgive this.
The best you can do is keep in the background, let you partner maintain contact but definitely don't force the issue.

His son doesn't have to accept you at all, what makes you think he does?

I've never forced the issue,and never will. I just find it very uneven / unbalanced that he'll have s relationship with my DD but I'll never have one with his DC. And I say this more for himself than for myself

Oh well, life is unfair isn't it? It's terrible that you can both act like cunts and then not everything be as you like.

OP your so far out of touch with reality its almost funny. You cant be a cunt, tear someones family apart and then want a ' happy blended family' ... wow
Maybe ending your relationships, having a few months where you both concentrated on your DC's , before introducing kids would have been the correct path to go down if you had genuinely cared about the happiness of the kids.

Each time you post I find myself laughing in disbelief at your blatant selfishness. You clearly have no empathy for how these kids will be feeling and are so out of touch with reality.
Self absorbed nonsense.

Jerseygirl that was the original plan and to some extent it worked with my DD but clearly not for his side of things. And whoever mentioned sex... Well we didn't have that much while we were still having an affair technically half the time we didn't have any. So it was never a big part of our relationship. Nowadays is a bit different and well let's say we've both ever had ;)

I think MN may need a puking emoji...

Oh, get a grip. It hasn’t yet worked to any extent with your DD. Shes 7 and he’s been for one dinner.

LOL when will it end.

LOL when will it end

When we all stop biting

And yet here I am

But she's liked him.and would.like to spend more time.with him.which light years away from ehater his DC want.

Ad children grow up they can often re-react to big past events in their lives with each developmental stage. It's more than likely that your daughter will grow up to react with disgust at your behaviour.

Francis that's a technicality... We've both moved out, my ex goes on dates is he having affairs? I don't think so!

I'm confused now as what it is that you want and why you are continuing to post. Do you want sympathy because? His ex isn't moving on emotionally as quickly as your OH (who clearly didn't care much you were having an affair and leaving him)? She isn't forcing her children to see their dad? Because the children are showing no interest in getting to know you because you think once they did, they would realise what an amazing person you are? Maybe even realise that their mum don't come close to being as much fun and exciting as their mum and they would then understand why their dad would rather be with you?

@niteandfog are his children adults? Or still at school?

Interesting that your DD doesn't know about the affair.

His children are at the local primary, along with her dd*

@FrancisCrawford thanks, for some reason I thought they were adults.

OP you and your partner are in danger of seriously emotionally damaging these poor children, they didn’t ask for any of this and their so called father and you would appear to have a “suck it up, this is how it is” attitude. Which is despicable.

So you're shagging a married man and your ex is off on dates?
Do any of you give a shit about these kids at all?
What a shower of selfish fucks you all are.

The woman who jointly destroyed my family told me that lots of parents separate and my children would be fine. She said they were going to be the sibling of her child and so would have to blend in with them. She told me that we would have to work together and coparent my children.
She didn’t have a clue.
She was telling me how I should parent my children and how I should deal with the situation when she was the one who had caused the damage (along with him of course) She basically said, and still does (along with him) that my children should get over it and move on.
Well, it hasn’t worked out for them at all. My children hate her. I haven’t made them hate her, they just aren’t stupid! I did
Make him be truthful with them....although a baby on the way kinda told them what they should know anyway and I answer any questions they have truthfully, but only if they ask.
They are both terrible parents. They both placed my children and that baby in an awful situation. You are both terrible parents.
I don’t think either of you, the OW in my case and you, care about the children as long as you get what you want.
It’s all about what makes you as adults happy.
Whereas a good parent, like me, will put the children first and respect their feelings and think about them before taking any actions.
Do you think I’d be overjoyed if my children were seeing that woman? Of course not, but I haven’t told them that. I want them to be happy. Forcing my feelings and opinions on them won’t make them happy. We’ve seen that with their father!
Leave the poor boy alone!! The only reason my children get stressed now is when their father continuously goes on about meeting her!