Hi ladies, I have been with my partner for 4 years now. He has 3 children (8,10 and 13) from a previous relationship and for the first few years we were together he had them one weeknight then alternate weekends to sleep over. This worked well as it meant we had the ability to go out and do things with friends, my family or as a couple every other weekend and my DPs ex had the same. For a while, the ex stopped DP having overnight contact (long story but she seems to have had some emotional problems which seem to be resolved now). During that time, DP was having kids over every Saturday but not to sleep. He was also having them one weeknight until 8pm and still is.
Thankfully the overnights have started again alternate weekends but on the weekends when they are not staying, DP still has them all day Saturday until at least 8pm but often more like 9pm. This is generally absolutely fine but my concern is that we can’t now ever go out on a Saturday or go away for a weekend unless we take all of the kids with us. We now have another child but we can easily get a babysitter for her but there is no way we will be able to get anyone to look after 4 kids! Also, as the baby gets older there will be things we want to do with her that the older kids won’t want to do, so I am going to end up having to take her without them or DP so DP and our daughter are going to miss out.
Am I being unreasonable to be a bit miffed at this change in the arrangements? I feel awful about feeling this way, but the situation was so different when I got involved and when we decided to have a baby. I have discussed with DP and he would prefer to go back to the original arrangements or have the kids only until the afternoon on the Saturday they aren’t staying rather than the evening but he is worried that if he suggests this his ex will fly off the handle and stop contact again.