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Original poster

teen stepdaughter wants a baby!

154 replies

talcyone · 22/03/2007 13:46

Just wanted to share
16 year old sd wants a baby
plans to be pg by september
Wants to know if i prefer gran or nan
bugger!

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ScottishThistle · 22/03/2007 14:56

Talcyone, tell her she could one day earn £300/£400pw as a Nanny!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 22/03/2007 14:56

i think possibly you just get a bit fired up?

... besides, i think you say what most would like to say but dont have the bottle....

Blandmum · 22/03/2007 14:56

Young mother can be great and old mothers can be shit,and vica versa.

But in general the younger you are having kids the less money you have, and money does help to make parenting a little less stressful. God alone knows its tough enough if you are finacially solvent. Trying it in a hostel (as this girl seems intent on) would have blown my mind.

In addition the younger you are the less choices you have (tied into money again). It makes getting qualifications harder, which will limit your life coices again.

However good a mum you are at 16, it seems to me that you will be at least as good at 20 and you'll probably have an easier time of it.

Plus you get to do all the young adult stupid stuff unencumbered by a baby

nappyaddict · 22/03/2007 15:04

i think you should tell her to wait until she is at least 18 or 19. then she will know if the relationship has a proper future and probably have more money and can do all the going out clubbing etc without having to worry about who will look after the baby.

zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 15:17

seeing as she has the choice it is a very silly idea

it is fantasy about clothes and a sweet baby and doing this and that choosing things for it and being cool and grown up

it is completely mad

no means of support
lots of scary worry

it is a limited look at life and very sad

tell her to get her gcses and then earn and save as much as she can for twelve months and go travelling or something

if she is going to make a good mother at 16 she will make a fantastic one later

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:20

TBH nappies, i'm not sure she cares about the relationship.
She told me that they had already discussed what would happen when they split up!
She wants him to visit!
I asked her what would happen when he gets a new gf, a possesive gf!

She's totally focused on the baby.

I'm going to talk to her.

BTW you feeling better?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 15:22

it is completely unfair to use her boyfriend like this as he will have aparental responsibility and financial responsibility

and if they split up he might want to have the baby with him

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:23

Yes zippi, and i think rhubarb made a good point.......she's trying to fill a gap,

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zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 15:26

does she have any idea how hard it is to get somewhere to live and a hostel is not like a home and you have very limited facilities for kids and can't make a home for them which is presumably one of the things she wants to do

and debt will be a permanent threat..bailiffs etc

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:29

She must do
Bit scared she'll end up here
That sounds really uncharitable doesn't it?
It's not what i had planned for my life though.

OP posts:
Blandmum · 22/03/2007 15:29

has she seen a hostel???

If not, please arrange for her to see one!

zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 15:31

not uncharitable at all

get her to think through past the ickle baby stage

and the fact that she could be a grandma in 15 years time too

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:31

When she was younger, she used to say that she wanted to live with tracey beaker!

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zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 15:33

tracey beaker does make a childrens home look fun though

in reality a hostel is likely to be a smelly place with lots of rules and no facilities

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:33

Making me smile now, she took great pride inthe fact that i would be a great great great grandama!
Ah, i do love her though

OP posts:
Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:34

not smiling at hostel...crossed threads

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ScottishThistle · 22/03/2007 15:35

I would only stay in a hostel for a night if I was desperate, she does need a tour round a local Hostel!

zippitippitoes · 22/03/2007 15:36

I would be tough as old boots on this one and try to get her to think of other more imaginative alternatives and about the difference having a baby with someone she does want to spend her future with

all those people out there she hasn't yet met and exciting things she could do if she tried

KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg · 22/03/2007 15:36

sorry custardo

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:39

She needs help in building her confidence and self esteem.
I need her here.

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Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:45

Come back custardo....you are gutsy

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WaynettanEasterEgg · 22/03/2007 15:52

Have only read the first couple of posts, so sorry if this has been said already.
How is she planning on supporting herself and the child? Is she going to get a job, or is she going to be using MY money (via taxes / benefit) to service this whim of hers??

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 15:57

The same as her friends......
your money!
This is not an assumption or a sweeping generalisation of teen parents.
Do not want to cause offence
In my sd's case, this is a fact

There is a net to catch those who have got themselves into sticky situations.

She will be doing it intentionally

OP posts:
WaynettanEasterEgg · 22/03/2007 15:59

Send her my way and I'll happily have a 'chat' with her

Original poster
talcyone · 22/03/2007 16:03

I explained that i would love another baby,
but we cannot afford it...
would need bigger house,
childcare etc etc

She said"you can look after mine!!!!!!!!!!"

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