Inheritance arrangements between your DC and SDC

[misnoma]

Hello.

I'm new to these boards but hope you can help.

What is your set-up in regards to inheritance between children when there are children from previous relationship involved?

DP and I are currently writing up a will as we are unmarried and I'm 13 weeks pregnant. He has a son from a marriage who is now 13. DP and his exW divorced when their son was 2. She walked away with a huge payout and mortgage free house. DP pays large amount of child maintenance each month plus his private school fees. So his son is very well looked after and I assume his mother will pass down her house (which DP paid for) to him when she eventually passes. ExW is remarried and assume they'll have other cash and assets to pass down.

I don't want to have children with DP and then our inheritance split equally among them as DSS will have two lots of inheritance, making it an unequal outcome. If I sound like a bitter cow then fine. If you're in the same boat, how have you dealt with inheritance issues?

It's not an easy situation.

I have 3 DC and 1 DSD, all DH's children. All our assets are in my name. I am not leaving anything to DH or DSD. The assets we have are either from my family or as a result of my income. Consequently we have arrangements that no matter who goes first, my DC inherit all. All DC can have an equal share of DH's estate, which will be very minimal unless things change drastically.

DSD will be absolutely in no different position than she would have been if DH and his exP had stayed together.

If I was as rich as Croesus and if all assets were 'mine', I would gladly make provision for DSD. But I'm not and my young DC will need every penny of what is actually my parents' money.

Agree with other posters. You leave your entire 'half' to your child and if DH wishes he can split his 'half'. Or there are other ways.

We have done it differently due to DH's ex being particularly abusive and toxic for many years with significant amounts of increasing parental alienation resulting in DH's children from his previous marriage treating him like a walking cash machine and with no respect or consideration for him whatsoever. DH has tried and tried with them but his view is that (long term) he won't pay to be treated like sh*t, especially now they are growing up. He pays a lot of CS also - not that this is relevant in terms of inheritance but the point I make is that his children are more than financially catered for by DH.

We are redoing our wills at present and they will dictate that should we die together - we have an allocated amount set aside for his children from his previous marriage to inherit. 'Our' child inherits everything else.

AndersArms makes a great point. A lot of our money is inherited from my parents. So in what world would I enable my husband's children from his first marriage to benefit from my parents'?

I don't see how life interest in possession of a house can work. What if you need to move area to be with an ailing parent, or can't afford the bills? Can the life interest be transferred to another property?

My dh and I have struck a deal which I am not sure is fair but here goes- he has 3, I have 2, none together, all young adults. Neither of us had much when we married. Since we married 6 years ago he is now in the top 0.1% of earners. He has equal life insurance for them all. We have mirror wills so we inherit from eachother and when the second one goes, it's split equally between all 5. But in lieu of the assets coming from his work, he's asking me to put any inheritance I receive in the future from my parents (possibly a fair bit) into the 'pot'. Not sure how to to broach this one with my parents! His children will be inheriting large sums from both sets of grandparents as well as from their mother who dh gave their home to on divorce.

I haven't read the whole thread but I think in these situations I think the best thing to do is make sure everyone knows where they stand.

My parents (my dad & step mum) have told us exactly how things will be split which means no one with be surprised when the time comes. As the house was my step mum's before she met my dad and she owned it outright she technically has a bigger share, they extended and this was funded partly from the sale of my dad's house hence him having any share. The way they've done is my step mum has 60% which will go to my step brothers so they get 30% each and my dad has 40% so me and my brother get 20% each.

Our situation is made easier by the fact there are no half siblings and no consideration is taken for if we will inherit from other parents. Me and my brother have no contact with our mum and my step brothers have no step/half siblings on the other side.

However when my step grandpa died 2 years ago me and me brother received an equal share to all his other grandchildren which was totally unexpected and quite nice at the same time.

When we made our wills we were unmarried, partner has a son and I was pregnant with our first child.
We made our wills "Mirrorred"
Whoever dies first gets the others estate and then when the remaining person dies it is split equally amongst all children of both of ours.
FWIW I class my Stepson as my bonus child and it never crossed my mind to treat him differently. His Grandparents are very wealthy so technically he may end up with more than mine and my now husbands children (second on the way), but it's not really about who gets more or less depending on circumstances-it's about who YOU want to leave YOUR estate to.
You can ringfence things though if that helps, my Mum controversially edited her will to ringfence her estate left to me and then to my children not to include my Stepson. For the reason that he will inherit from two sets of grandparents not inc her whereas I only have my Mum. It's not a decision I agree with but it is hers and I respect it.