Here we go!!!

[Nursed123]

It's that time again..... Step kid weekend!

I'm just sitting, with wine in hand, waiting for them to descend.

I really wish I could say I look forward to these weekends but I dread them for various reasons

Here's and for anyone else who can relate

Hi carolann welcome ! Similar to my situ actually , ex let me and my DD see DSC at first for a couple of months then decided no and we weren't allowed near them at weekends for almost two years . So I didn't see my own DP at weekends for almost two years hahahaha don't ask how I stuck this out .
Oh dear lady this sounds way too stressful ! How old is DSS ? Sending wine your way .

Hello! Welcome :)

Omg lady i would not be half as calm as you are in your situation. I really hope she's not got pregnant essentially by your dh! What kind so psycho does that?!

I really hope you get to the bottom of it. Does she have a partner? Sorry if you've said already and I've missed it

Welcome to the new step mums joining, I'm loving this thread!
Lady...wtf did i just read? ExW is pg and shes been trying to get pg using her and DH embryos? Dear god, DH panicking much? I presume they had ivf?
A case of wine for you!!

DSS is 9 and was an IVF baby so there was leftover embryos. ExW is married.

Phew !!

Oh riiiight, her DH embryos! bloody hell, thought for a second she meant your DH's one!
When skank ExW fell pregnant, it was the start of some fucked up double standards. On the plus side, it gave her something else to worry abut instead of us!

I would check those embryos are gone!

I've given up worrying what the ExW says or thinks. shes an idiot. If she starts the abuse again and you start feeling stressed, then back off DSS-you cant cut ties entirely. Give it a year, she'll be more interested in her baby than DSS and you.

lady does your DP not have paperwork from the clinic confirming they've been destroyed? Surely he would have to sign something as well?

We have DSD here until this afternoon. Her mum only makes herself available to contact when DSD is with us so there's usually some fraught text exchange regarding upcoming contact weekends. Thankfully DP hasn't texted at all yet but he might not be able to see DSD the next time he's due to see her due to an op he needs and so that'll cause problems as her mum won't help with drop off/collection and she will expect me to do a 5-6 hour round trip on the Saturday and another one on the Sunday which I can't do because of my own commitments. DP will offer for his dad to drive him but that won't be 'allowed' and so he won't see DSD and she will be told her dad doesn't want to see her despite him talking to her this weekend and explaining the issues. Banghead. Is it too early for wine?!

Ahh Chloe sorry to hear that ! Poor DSD and DP . Why are these women so wicked ?

chloe if your DP's in hospital having an operation at the time of the next access weekend, then surely there's no need to arrange transport for DSD, as there's no point in her visiting if her dad won't be around? I don't see the point in an access visit taking place if it doesn't result in contact between the child and the NRP?

Totally agree Sunnyfeet. Sometimes you have to take Real Life into consideration! DH's ex/DH/DSS all used to insist on access visits taking place, even if DH was going to be away, even to the point where they all thought it reasonable for DSS to be despatched to our empty house, resulting in ridiculous logistics involving taxis, pre-ordering takeaways - just to ensure DSS was removed from his mother's house as per the rota. I used to call it 'access by proxy.' Pure insanity. I don't miss those days.

Oh chloe I feel for you. Same here. Ss must not be at ex's house on our contact days even if we are not here.

When I was in labour wasn't even an exception mil had to step in last minute because ex literally refused to look after her own child on 'our days' fucking idiot

DH occasionally used to work away during the week, and the whole thing became a circus. The ex insisted that the mid-week access visit still went ahead (even if DH was hundreds of miles away), I refused to have DSS in DH's absence, there were occasions when DH would try to drive back for a few hours, just to keep th ex sweet, and occasionally DH's sister would have DSS, purely to facilitate his removal from the ex's house.

My DP is having his op and will be out of hospital before the next contact but the nature of the op means he most likely won't be able to drive by then which is the issue. He'd be fine to spend the weekend more or less as normal with DSD here but he potentially won't be able to collect her himself and her mum won't (as a one off) help out by driving her part of the way to make it do able. Hopefully his dad will be able to help out but even that results in nastiness from the ex. Fwiw I'm an ex myself and do help out with transporting my own children if their dad has problems collecting/dropping them off!

sleepyhare that's crazy re you being in labour :(

And Petal crazy as well.

At the end of the day things don't always go to plan. My ex is a fcukwit beyond belief but I try to help out with transport if needed when it's his time with the kids as he's their dad and they want to see him.

Anyway .... anyone for a cheeky vino?!

I am an ex too and I help and would never behave in this way ! These women are spiteful, bitter and worst of all they are using their innocent children to vent this .

Update on DSS DH took him to the walk in centre because his willy was swollen to over double in size .... they were really concerned about it but apparently it is just severely bruised . Really freaked out with DSD we have had lots of talks about this and how wrong it is has anyone touched your privates etc etc she says she does not know why she did it . Would you guys call SS anonymously if you were in my situation ?

MotherofA - is it possible for you to speak to anyone at your dsd's school about your concerns? There should be someone in charge of child protection/safeguarding that you can talk through your concerns with.

motherofa I think I would to be honest.

Poor dss.

Arghhhhhhhhh ss is now on the 'can I have a dog at your house' conversation.

Are you going to come round and walk it every morning afternoon and evening. Are you going to pay for its food, it's bed its vet bills? No? Then no you can't have a bloody dog at our house.

What gets me is that we've got two cats anyway so we obviously can't have a dog too, and he's got a frigging dog at his mums house which he was bored of after approximately twenty seconds.

Oh and now I'm cooking tea which he'll probably throw away. Pass me the

Ah, we had the pet thing in our house. Dsd2 wanted a cat who would live at our house, so Disney dad obliged. Dsd1 also wanted one, so now we have 2 cats. Dsd2 now wants a new cat as her one doesn't sit on her lap enough! she's not getting one!

I'm happy to report that half term week went very well! Could've done with a big at the end of it, but will make do with some pregnancy treats! I'm a bit worried about labour too...don't know what will happen if it falls on our weekend with the dsds...we have no other support where we live and either DP will have to bring them to the hospital or he'll have to stay home with them...I really don't want either of these, so keeping fingers crossed baby has a 6th sense about this.

Chloe I'm not involved at the school as their mother doesn't wish me to be and also I take my DD at the same time DP drops them off (different schools) .
I'll think on it . She did seem remorseful today and made him a card to say sorry but I still can't figure out why she would do that . It's not classed as normal sexual behaviour on NSPCC website , I told her Dad this .