what would you say........

[WSM123]

I saw this on another forum and it was brilliant, so I decided to blatantly steal it. Some was hilarious, some was brutal but all a great vent no judgement
What would you love to say to your step kids but cant in real life??
I would say to SS7, when you get caught out in a lie, laughing and saying I was joking doesn't make it cute, its still a lie.

It wasn't a big cake by the way. Just a cupcake.

Exactly Elf. She can't wave it in his face and then get all huffy when he wants a piece. Especially since he is 4.
Luckily he wasn't bothered and I told her that which swiftly shut her up.

X posts before when I mentioned it was just a cupcake.

"venting" - i.e. Let my slag my step kids off as much as want and if you say "hey that's not on" I will play the "I'm just venting, everyone hates step mothers, we can't do anything right boo hoo!" card.

Call it "venting" if you like but it doesn't change what you're really doing and it's not a get out of jail free card.

"venting" - i.e. Let my slag my step kids off as much as want and if you say "hey that's not on" I will play the "I'm just venting, everyone hates step mothers, we can't do anything right boo hoo!" card

And THIS.

It reads as 'Hey, we're just bitching about children! No Judgement please.'

How many posts are there here where people vent about biological children, the neighbours kid, classmates, playdates...

I don't think the o/p was bitchy or particularly mean. Just that the kid lies, then laughs and pretends it's a joke when caught, rather than apologise. Any parent would probably punish the child for lying, but a step parent can't do that...

Seems that it is frowned upon to say anything remotely negative about a stepchild.

DS1 hit DS2 the other day and it really annoyed me. Not acceptable behaviour at all! Just the same as Dsd bossing DS1 around and speaking to horribly. Not acceptable behaviour.

Of course, it's acceptable for me to get frustrated with DS, but heaven forbid if I get frustrated with Dsd! She isn't a snowflake you know.

Yes, bitching about other people's children is always going to sound terrible.

Personally, I don't feel the need to bitch about my own DC and have never felt the need to bitch about the SDC either.

It's different. You know it is. I don't for one moment disagree that it's a very complex and strained relationship but the fact is that you're living with or in the supervisory role of often emotionally shaken children whose way of life and your place in it is not of their choosing. Of course you're going to be angry and frustrated, just like they are. I get angry and frustrated with my own children but underpinning that is huge love and unquestioning acceptance so it's different.

It's not all step threads and the ones where I see genuine frustration not based on spite, I would never comment negatively on but there's too many where there's real anger, dislike and blame towards step children, those threads are actually very obvious.

gooseberry I attend a support group once a week and some people have hit breaking point with their own children. Some of them have been in tears when it all flows out how sad/frustrated they are.
I'm not at that point but I attend it because of my DS2's speech delay and mild behavioural problems due to suspected asd.

If you never have a negative word to say about your own children then when is your book coming out?

Nicki it's not different when your DP is out 12 hours a day at work and I am left in sole care of the children, including Dsd. What on earth do you expect me to do? She's supposed to be treated the same so I think that extends to rules and discipline. There are 4 children in the family and they all Push my buttons (DS3 less so because he's one but I fully expect him to start mirroring his older siblings at some point).

They're not your kids. The adults have chosen a set up and forced the kids into it and then moan about them, dislike them and punish them when they hate it. That's what it all boils down to.

I agree entirely with consistent rules and discipline. I don't agree with threads slagging step kids off.

I forgot to add regarding the support group, one woman has foster children who a very badly behaved. Is she not allowed to say this just because they aren't related biologically?

Bitching sounds different to upset Cant.

It's the smart-arsed 'we're venting' followed by childishness that sounds TERRIBLE.

And cant you sound like you have your hands very full. I'm not saying there can be NO frustration and stress, of course there will be, but starting threads to get everyone slagging their step kids off doesn't sit well with me.

But it's not slagging step kids off though is it?

I've voiced my disapproval at dsd's less than perfect behaviour. She's irritated me on many occasions. But then my own children have as well. Ive never called Dsd anything vulgar. But she does frustrate me and irritate me, as all children do to adults. I don't know what you expect me to say really.

And OP didn't say children. She said step children. She's differentiating them from 'normal' children relationships, through no fault of there own, and that's where it stops being funny.

'Their' not 'there' obvs.

But if it's just general low-level 'grr kids are annoying' stuff, why does it need to have this special label of 'venting' and be about stepkids specifically? Why isn't it on the main boards labelled 'moans about DC'?

And why is some of it so mean-spirited?

Gooseberry - x-post

The OP got the idea from another website and it was just aimed at stepchildren, so she brought the same idea over here and put it on the most likely board- the step one.

Quite. Unpleasant and unkind.